Returning to work after Mat Leave - not going well

[Lookingforluck]

Hi everyone, hoping for some friendly advice. Feeling really quite low and stuck with the situation.

I went back to work in January after maternity leave. I was looking forward to going back (although had the usual mixed feelings!) I agreed to go back 4 days,
but would use annual leave to work 3 days until the summer at which point I’d move up to 4.

Anyway, I’ve been getting myself into a routine with work/childcare etc. but have started to feel overwhelmed with the workload I have and trying to fit this in to 3 days. Long story short, I have worked most evenings and weekends (when little one is asleep or napping) to catch up with work over the past month or so. This week I spoke to my boss who is the business owner to say I was struggling. Sadly and unexpectedly, the conversation turned quickly into a heated exchange. I had hoped we could look at moving some of the workload around over the next few months whilst I caught up. I have been onboarding some brand new clients and I was worried that if we didn’t make a good impression initially and I wasn’t responsive to their needs, we risk losing them. Within a couple of months, once I better understood their systems and got quicker at completing my tasks for them, it would become more manageable (plus I’d be up to 4 days a week).

My boss completely twisted the words in my email and when talking face to face. Made statements that I didn’t want to do the work which is something I have definitely not said. Explained that we only took on these new clients because I was returning to work. She also said I was on a 4 day contract and so had a workload for 4 days even though I’m only working 3 days until the end of the summer (something that had always been known). Is this legally acceptable? I just feel like I’m set up to fail for half the year, trying to fit 4 days work into 3.

I have never been involved in such a confrontational conversation. The conversation ended only because I said we were going round in circles and I would just have to continue with the workload as it is.

It’s a small workplace in terms of staff numbers. My boss hasn’t spoken to me since and I have just been going in and sitting quietly at my desk, getting on with my work. It has just turned completely toxic and I have no idea what to do. I feel like there would be no coming back from this now. From my side, I thought my boss was very unprofessional and became very personal in the discussion. I’m not sure how I can get past that. Equally I seem to have angered her beyond belief and I’m not sure how she will move past this! I was hoping for stability post Mat Leave but now I’m thinking I’ll need to find a new job. Not sure what to think or feel right now. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

This is really sad. You're entitled to the annual leave and they've agreed to the pattern. You shouldn't get 4 days worth of work whilst you're in for 3 days. People that think you should need to consider what sort of employer they are/would make.

I would get a new job. She's displayed a terrible attitude to work/life balance that is unlikely to improve.

@HyuNis yes, indeed, I think the conversation would have been better as “we tried it, it doesn’t work, can we change the leave pattern as soon as you can increase child care”

I would look for another job tbh because I don't think there's a way back . I don't know how this 4 days work into 3 days was ever going to work really , going back after mat leave is tough anyway without having to catch up and hit the ground running .
I would carefully consider when and how I want to work eg full time but hybrid and look for a job that suits.
Life's too short to work in a toxic environment x

I'd go back to her, say that you aren't really happy with how you left things and it's important to you that you find a resolution that works for you both. I'd explain that you have a lot of annual leave to get through and you are struggling to do 4 days worth of work in 3 days and it's important to you that your work is of a high standard. I'd then suggest booking in blocks of annual leave as having trialled the 3 day set up you can see it isn't proving to be manageable. I'd suggest bringing another Co worker in to the meeting with you if there is someone who would be appropriate like an hr lead etc. Or if you think it's likely to turn nasty again I'd bring a union rep. I would speak to maternity action, and a union for advice on this ahead of your meeting. Expecting you to return to full duties while having additional leave accrued due to maternity leave that you have to take to me would suggest it's putting you at a disadvantage so it would be good to get their take on it and see if there is precedent for reduced duties to help support your return to work. It would be different if it was your standard yearly allowance you were taking but I think in this instance the annual leave issue is as a direct result of maternity so I think it's worth questioning. My guess is they've been stretched without you, and she's been waiting for you to return to pick up what you left off and she's frustrated that you might need a longer stretch of flexibility. But that's her issue not yours.

It's funny, at my old job we had a rule that someone couldn't take their holidays in that way, e.g., every Friday o

Dammit!

...every Friday off for a stretch of time. Now I see why! Essentially you'd have to have the worker finish all their work in fewer days--or someone would have to cover for them every week. It's so different from saying "X is off this week so we'll put xyz temporarily on hold."

But it's not your fault OP, that your manager didn't think things through. You negotiated the whole set-up in good faith.

Really disappointing that her immediate response was to gaslight you, and behave so unprofessionally to boot. I would look for other jobs.

OP can have that conversation now though- be more proactive- say look its not working so I've upped child care and will take annual leave in chunks like everyone else

It sounds like the workload is too much to do over three days. And they are regretting the decision to let you do this. But they shoildn't have agreed to it in the first place. I wouldn't allow this because it just wouldn't usually be feasible over a long period of time. They want somebody i four days not three.

Sounds like discrimination to me; you’re being penalised for taking your annual leave in a pattern which you both agreed to.

Naturally, you can’t nor should you be expected to do the same amount of work in a shorter working week. Any manager that thinks that this is a reasonable expectation is being unfair.

Thanks @DahliaRose3 for your support. I decided to leave that workplace and found a new job in July. Things are much better now for me and I’m glad to have moved on.

Things got worse and worse at my previous job. My employer became very hostile towards me. Said many unprofessional and inappropriate things. Honestly, she was just revealing her true colours and if it hadn’t been this situation that caused it, I’m sure something else would have happened at another point. It’s just sad that this happened - it really didn’t need to. We could have worked this out professionally and as I team. I was fully behind supporting her business and making it a success!

Good for you, @Lookingforluck. Glad you made a decision which works for you. How short sighted your previous boss wouldn't/couldn't work out a compromise with you. 🌹