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Original poster

Employee abuse

26 replies

Em4891 · 28/03/2023 22:41

For over a year I’ve had to deal with a number of unprovoked outbursts from a fellow colleague.

This has resulted in management being involved and asking me every time to try and be civil.
This colleague has not only had outbursts to myself but, to others also.

I have been asked by management on several occasions if I know her , the answer is no. I only know her as the woman asking me to get her a job at my employment and since then she’s caused nothing but, trouble for me.

It has now reached a new level when I was in my local shop today and saw the colleague. I said hello out of politeness to her re entering the shop screaming at me and swearing, making radical remarks to me that I am the reason she is off work and I have bullied her for 2 years.

None of this outburst made sense whatsoever for a number of reasons.
I work on a completely different department to her .
If I do see her it’s very brief .
Our working hours are very different .
I moved departments as she was one of the reasons I was unhappy in my work place.

I left the shop completely humiliated and shocked, I have called the police to make a statement as the woman is going too far now .

I have tried every avenue I can at work but, she will not leave me alone.

If anyone could off any advice, I would appreciate it.

I love my job and my colleagues but, I feel before long I will be looking elsewhere as she is making my work life and now even out of work life hard.

OP posts:
Preparedforjobnottolast · 29/03/2023 00:45

Sorry I don’t know what to suggest having to sit through a Manager having 2 very close relationships in work of course which given time, broke down, all I heard in January was denial but when they told me not to be friends with someone who swore out loud at me in autumn I lost respect, when they went on to be very friendly indeed. I do wonder why they chose to get themselves involved.

To my mind, you never dip your pencil in the company ink. But the Manager managed to get away with it. Did a good job fighting for their job apparently in under 6 months service and kept their position I heard, getting rid of two women they didn’t really egg on. (not)

I just can’t look the Manager in the face knowing what they did.

toucaninjapan · 29/03/2023 07:36

Unfortunately no advice to offer, but I'm bumping for you OP

FitAt50 · 29/03/2023 07:41

Can you explain in better detail. How did you know her outside of work "You said she asked you to get her the job". You also said you have had issues for a year but she claims it's two years?

Gazelda · 29/03/2023 07:49

I think it's time to put in a formal grievance at work. Talk with HR.

Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 07:59

It’s hard to understand, if you moved job because she made you unhappy you must have known her or worked with her. I don’t understand when she was asking you to get her a job if you don’t know her. Why haven’t you raised a grievance?

Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 08:01

Also how is she making your working life hell if she’s off work and as you said you work in a different dept and barely see her?

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 09:53

Please let me elaborate . This woman is purely another mum at my children’s school. She knew where I worked and asked me to see if there were jobs for her. Which I did .
I do not know her other than that.
I moved departments to get away from her drama she kept causing me then she had continued to make problems for me.
This has now caused her to verbally attack me in a public place with many watching.

My management have been awful and I am due to speak to the police today as she has made my life terrible.

I genuinely don’t, speak to her other than a professional level in work. And simply said hello yesterday out of kindness.

OP posts:
Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 09:55

I have raised a grievance but, she has now continued to carry on regardless of senior management telling her to be professional.

OP posts:
Itsvalentino · 29/03/2023 10:00

Does she approach you at work and shout at you for no reason? I'm trying to work out how these outbursts happen if you no longer work together. Also, what do the other people around you do when this happens? Surely, colleagues can back up your grievance.

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 10:10

I did work with her in the same dept but, moved to get away from her drama.
I do barely see her but, she has continued to make issues for me. I have told management this but, they haven’t helped

OP posts:
Itsvalentino · 29/03/2023 10:12

Em4891 · 29/03/2023 10:10

I did work with her in the same dept but, moved to get away from her drama.
I do barely see her but, she has continued to make issues for me. I have told management this but, they haven’t helped

What does she actually do?

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 10:13

At work people just watched last time this happened and no one did anything.
Yesterday there were many people around and everyone was looking at her then asked if I was ok.
I have called the police as now she being verbally abusive in public places

OP posts:
GlassBunion · 29/03/2023 10:37

Yes , I'm confused too.

Why did you get her a job if you don't know her?
Your manager has asked you to 'be civil.' What do they mean by this? Are you often not civil?

shieldmaiden7 · 29/03/2023 10:38

My DH works with someone like this, she has made our life hell and is completely unhinged. I totally sympathise. I hope the police help.

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 10:51

I purely did it as she was looking for work. And was trying to be helpful.
My manager has asked her to be civil as often she is rude, will look at me like dirt even though I don’t know much of her.
I was just trying to help a mum out as we were looking for people and she needed work.
She hasn’t only done this to me but, other people in the workplace too.

The last conversation I had was only last week with her . Was work related but, civil.
In the space of a week of not seeing her as I have been away I was shouted at for no reason.

OP posts:
Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 11:30

But she said she was off work due to your bullying. So she’s not off work?

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 11:59

Yes she is off work since end of last week but, I haven’t seen her. Hence me finding it extremely odd that she’s accused me of being the reason she is off 😟

OP posts:
Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 12:27

Do you know what’s she’s off with `? There is clearly a backstory here and something significant at play either in her personal life or with her mental health . Has she raised a complaint against you?

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 13:39

when shouting at me yesterday she said it was me. Even though I’ve had no contact with her for a week and out last conversation was civil.
The last manager told us to be civil
to one another which I have done but, like I said she has had numerous outburst not only with myself but others. I have been the only one to elscate things as it was getting to much .
Now it’s reached the point where I’m having to come home from work in tears due to no support from my managers and that it’s now going to a investigation

OP posts:
helpfulperson · 29/03/2023 13:40

Sounds like there are possible mental health issues in which a police report is the way to go as it may support her getting help or encourage her to realise that she needs help. And if not hopefully it will make her reflect on her behaviour.

Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 14:18

An investigation of what op? Your complaint or hers?

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 14:28

Hers. I’ve been told I will have to put my side across then a decision will be made

OP posts:
Littleloveydovey · 29/03/2023 14:49

Ok, this is quite hard to help you as it’s a drip feed of info.

so effectively you have a colleague who has raised a formal grievance against you for bullying, the company are about to start the investigation. The employee is now off sick, possibly with stress or similar.

you saw her in a shop and for some reason said hello she went off on one accusing uou of bullying and the reason she was off sick. You have called rhe police on her. You have also raised a grievance about her, but she did hers first.

you do not feel the complaint at work is valid. As you seldom see her, but there have been multiple instances of disturbances between the two of you which management had to step in over.

is this right?

FartSock5000 · 29/03/2023 15:12

@Em4891 you are absolutely right to get Police involved here as her behaviour is escalating. Keep pushing for them to act and look into an order of protection as well. You need something legal in place to ensure she keeps her distance from you or there are consequences.

Take the police ref number (you can get a copy by calling 101) to your HR team and raise a formal grievance against her for harassment. Inform the school as well. You need to tell EVERYONE what she is doing because by keeping so quiet and avoiding fuss you've given her rope to tell everyone that you are the aggressor!

Join a Union ASAP as well. You may need them down the line.

Your employer has a duty of care towards you to provide a safe working environment. There is now an active police investigation into her conduct.

I'd also ask the store manager to save the CCTV footage.

Enough is enough. Mental illness or not, her need to harass you doesn't overrule your right to live peacefully. Start fighting back.

Original poster
Em4891 · 29/03/2023 15:35

I’m calling my union this afternoon. Thank you for your help

OP posts: