I've messed up, can't deliver as promised, what do I do?

[Concestor]

Ok, I know the obvious answer is just admit it, I just feel really tearful about things right now. Please be gentle. This is long, sorry.

I am not employed, but I work for a few different organisations all within the same field. I'm self employed but they work a bit like jobs only without the benefits.

One of the organisations I work for I find really difficult to understand their processes, and am often ignored when trying to get departments to do things (eg if I need some find Comms put out I'm not allowed to do it myself but then Comms don't respond so it doesn't happen).

I also have to fill in a form whenever I want something. I can't just ask someone "please can you create a QR code for me?". I have to fill in a form which generally has questions on it that I can't answer, then I get stuck, and I'm not allowed to make the qr code myself!

I've flagged this to my line manager but she can't change anything, so I'm a bit stuck.

Added to this I have an unwell child who I thought was going to get better when I took this particular job on, but hasn't, plus I'm now suffering with menopause and feeling quite ill a lot of the time.

Because I recognised the pressures on me, and that I couldn't continue to do everything, I gave notice to one of my other clients (for want of a better word) but I can't leave yet.

My problem is I thought I was on track to meet a deadline for something quite public, despite having had to move things back a bit on occasion.

I've now had an email from my line manager who is clearly angry, saying they are going to have to postpone the thing, and asking me to confirm I've done a number of things she has listed.

The problem is that a number of them I didn't even know I had to do, and others I thought were ok to do nearer the time but apparently it all needs to be done within the next fortnight.

I can't achieve that deadline as I only do a day a week on this and I've other commitments for other "clients" next week that I can't move.

I've been thinking of quitting this role anyway. I was advised not to do it by the previous incumbent who I know a bit and had chatted with, and I'm experiencing all the issues that she did in the role.

I have to give a month's notice so I'd still need to resolve the issues, I just don't know how to respond.

I can't say "I'm in a total mess, I've not done this stuff, didn't know I needed to, and don't know how to get it done navigating your systems," can I?

I accept that some of this is on me. I should have asked more questions and pushed back more. But I'm struggling with my family health situation (my dad has been ill as well) and I think they should have been clearer about what they wanted from this as I was not aware of some of their expectations.

I'm in a bit of a panic at the moment, need to take some time to think it through and reply, but I would appreciate some advice

I feel really sick and anxious and like I just want to hide away (which obviously wouldn't help!). Even thinking about this job makes me feel sick and I've been feeling like that for a while now.

My line manager is actually really lovely so to send me the email she has means she is either very very cross, or feeling concerned, or under pressure, or a mixture.

I want to deliver, I just don't think I can and I feel awful about it.

I am struggling to unravel this. I think there is a lot of extraneous information here which isn't relevant, but it's hard to work out which. For starters, I'm sorry about all your personal struggles, but in the end those are your problem - your "employer" (and I am equally struggling to understand what the relationship is!) doesn't care about anything other than you doing what you have promised to do.

If I am reading this correctly, you committed to delivering soemthing by a specific date, and now you are saying that you can't do that. If that is the case, I am not entirely surprised that they are annoyed. Perhaps you should have asked more questions if you weren't clear, or recognised earlier that the deadlines weren't possible. But that is water under the bridge because you didn't. The only thing you can do now is pick up the phone and tell them the truth, and work with them to unravel what needs to be done about this.

I disagree with the first poster - I think all the relevant issues are the employer's. They have failed to train you up and failed to inform you of the requirements/deadlines of the project. Now they are freaking out and retroactively applying deadlines - but you cannot meet them (it doesn't matter why) because they have informed you way too late in the day.

Honestly, I would be very firm and bullish on this - recall the times that you have flagged problems with the processes etc, make the point very clearly that there you were not informed about the progressive deadlines for parts of the process (ie you only had one deadline) and that you will meet your obligation - the one deadline you were given - but they will have to accept that they have not given you the info you need in time.

No that's not it. Sorry it's complicated and I don't want to be identified.

A lot of the problems are due to them effectively blocking me getting able to work effectively.

I could deliver if the goalposts were still where I always thought they were, but they want extra things doing really soon which I thought I had more time to do. They weren't clear about that.

I guess we disagree about the process, which has been an ongoing issue - with their processes and how difficult they are. I often don't realise I have to go through a process till I try to do something and am told I can't, someone else has to do it but I have to fill in a form first and then see if they will. It's really hard to get anything done.

And yes they aren't my employer, I'm self employed, but it's not as simple as a client scenario, they treat me like an employee.

"parts of the process" i meant 'parts of the project'

Sorry my reply was to the first person

It sounds like a nightmare. You aren’t able to do the job because nobody is getting back to you or properly defining the requirements.

Sometimes when we’re anxious it feels easier to say that we can’t do something than to fix it.

I think that you need to sit down quietly with the list and plan out how you can fix this.

What could you reasonably do if you worked a weekend day or a couple of evenings?

What do you need done for you? I think it would be reasonable to ask your boss to request and chase this for you.

What did you think could be left until later. Look at it again. Can you leave it till later? Or have you miscalculated. If it can be left till later diary it now and give your boss the completion date.

Is there anything which absolutely can’t be sorted in time. If so is there a way round it? Could you recommend a freelancer? Or ask them to use someone in house to help?

Does that feel like it might work as an approach?

Somebody is trying to shift blame. Fight back.

Right, health issues and overwhelm aside (they don’t care about that, I’m afraid) you need to reply with a plan.

Of the list,, which are things you did not know were your responsibility? Clarify this (I hadn’t been briefed on this) but offer to pick it up if possible or push it back to them if not possible.

Then of the things you were planning to execute on X date, tell them this and clarify if it is necessary to have it done sooner. If they say yes, critical, figure out how to do that.

If they are going to postpone anyway, then perhaps it is not in fact critical that X YZ is done.

Im assuming you’re some sort of social media freelance? Hence need for QR codes or things designed by the company in their branding?

If I were you, I’d use this as an opportunity to say it’s not working for you and you’ll be giving notice - they might let you go without any fuss if they just want to get on and get someone else onboard?

I think you need to defend yourself. If the previous encumbant warned you about this job, it is very likely to be the company, not you, causing most the problems.

I would write a strongly worded email, pointing out:

1. What was previously communicated to you about deadlines and tasks.
2. The issues with requesting things to be done. e.g. I requested this from this team on this date, they did not respond/refused/took 3 weeks. Point out the impact that each delay has on your project.

Reference as much evidence as you can.

If this is done politely and factually, it is non unprofessional. It will show that you are not to blame, and more importantly it might help them learn from this for the future, whether or not you choose to remain in the role.

I could deliver if the goalposts were still where I always thought they were, but they want extra things doing really soon which I thought I had more time to do. They weren't clear about that

Be confident in this stance then. And if they want things to happen sooner, how can they help you achieve that? (I.e. what do you need to make it happen and who has to sign the form/deliver the artwork/sign off the proposal - then your manager/client contact must chase this for you.)

Plus - stop telling yourself your role ‘works like a job but without the benefits’.

No - you are freelance. You don’t have the same level of responsibility. The company has the responsibility to brief you properly and manage your contribution.

Don’t accept the de facto position of employee when there’s no upside to you.

I think you should tell them that X,Yand Z have been added to the specification since taking on the task, and cannot be completed to their timescales.

Does that leave an achievable list if you have everything you need? If so, then you need to list everything you require- QR codes, the lot and the latest date you need them by to meet the previous deadline (state this) not the brought forward deadline.

Good luck.

Can you do a communications review of everything they have told you, emails, meetings of minutes etc? Give timescales as they were originally communicated to you, if you have never been informed of the need for early delivery of some things then point that out. Also pull out all communications about aspects of the project that have been delayed by the organisation itself.

Take her list and copy- then go through each post step by step and respond with factual, evidenced information

*the campaign copy has not been done-
copy has been submitted on theses dates with no response from xx, resubmitted on x and x.

• the binders have not arrived- binders are on a 48 delivery and can be ordered on x date in line with past projects.

I would keep it very simple

Hi manager

There’s been some miscommunication here as some of these tasks are news to me, and some of the deadlines are not what I have in my diary.

Shall we talk on Monday to work out the best way forward?

Followed by a list of tasks, noting when you were expecting to do something, and what you you didn’t know you had to do.

Over the weekend work out what you can do, and what you need to hand back if they want it done in X time. Try and offer a solution - eg I thought that Jane could take on that if you want it done earlier.

Because it’s a mix bag of who is at fault, don’t get into excuses or complaints about their systems - it’s just too complicated. Focus on what can get done by when.

When you talk to her next week (do it face to face if you can) try and keep it totally practical as above. Be very clear about what you can do by when. Do not offer to take on any jobs you didn’t know you had to do. If she wants to be annoyed and for you to take blame then you can make ONE quick n simple apology for letting things fall behind due to sick kid, and ONE mention of the fact their inflexible systems are an issue which she has failed to deal with, but limit it to that. Basically she just wants stuff done, not a cascade of detail.

Can you unsack the other client and sack this one?

As I think you know this is not a huge thing. Send the email and pick it up next week.

As PP above, take her list and update the status on each item. If there is something you weren't aware of then I would say that. Ask when it was delegated and the details. Very likely that it was never allocated to you in the first place.

Make it factual.

The items where you came up against roadblocks, what did you do? Did you flag that issue with anyone? If so, when?

It's tough but I would ride this bit out then jack it in. I'm in a similar situation myself and on my way out because the processes for getting stuff down are an actual ballache and there is no plan in place to resolve any of it.

Do they not give you a written brief with tasks and deadlines attached?

Thank you. I've just done the school run and been having the same thoughts. I just panicked at the email. I'm highly respected, this is a high profile project, the stakes for my reputation are high. But you're right, I need to sit down later and go through it all. Everything is fixable, I didn't even think there was a problem, in my mind it was all running smoothly!

Thank you. This is excellent. In my field there are a lot of roles looked this and you're right, I'm not an employee and I don't get benefits. I'm going to write this somewhere near my desk as a reminder!

No. They took me on to deliver a very specific thing. They had no idea what they wanted the thing to look like, and gave me free reign to do it. Part of the interview process was creating the timeline and setting out how it would ask be achieved. There's been no input from them on that at all.

I've tried to get some direction as we've gone along, but it's been really hard. I've been ignored by some senior staff members, have never been into the office so don't really know who is who or what they do, and have been treated like some magic fairy who can create the final thing alone. Which I mostly could IF I didn't have to use their processes and rely on their people who don't always do what is needed.

I actually think I've done a good job so far! Two weeks ago they said how pleased they were with me and asked me to stay on once this is all delivered!

But now I've got this email with senior staff I've never even heard of copied in and I'm not sure what's happening.

Just sit down and formulate a response

I’d push it back and say

I understand amd share your concern, however for this to succeed I need you to request your organisation pulls certain levers to enable it.

firstly. On the below items (list the things you didn’t know), please ensure requests are communicated in a timely manner and be respectful of the contractual commitment you have in place Ie what is achievable in the time frame set

secondly. Please ensure your systems are set up to allow me the relevant accesses, (list the access issues, no emotion)

thirdly please ensure your employees understand the criticality of my requests and confirm time line for them to action and escalation if this fails.

please confirm back to me when the above is actioned and any surrounding plans, we can then set up a meeting to decide a realistic time frame to achieve your requests based on your organisations capabilities.

Oh op and when you respond with the above, cc them all that were on the original email.

And have you been repeatedly flagging (with a paper trail) all these challenges, and the impacts to delivery? It can't be a surprise to them can it?

Do what fragrant says. Very sensible advice.