Overwhelmed by toxic work culture: tips required pls

[SupremeCommanderServalan]

The environment I work in is very much one of cronyism, mates sticking together, people who are in favour getting promotions. Meetings are chaired badly with poor attitudes and behaviours being allowed. I think that things have deteriorated since lockdown, as standards seem to have slipped all round with most of us doing either hybrid working or full time WFH.

I challenge this where I can (within boundaries) and it has meant that I am now the person that gets the most shit directed at them.

I have spent the last year or so desperately doing job applications but I feel utterly exhausted and burnt out, so am not convinced that anyone will want me considering the only skill set I seem to have at the moment is survival.

Any tips on surviving in a toxic work culture?

@SupremeCommanderServalan , as @Candleabra says - even if you can self certify for 7 days - I would still go to the GP. I definitely would - a note from them will hold sway I am sure with HR & your managers.

Survive as best as possible, all the best op

Join a union!

No advice to give, OP, but I am where you are, and it's awful, and I feel for you.

I’m in a union.

I have a meeting with HR today to go through my HSE stress test www.hse.gov.uk/stress/risk-assessment.htm

I hope your meeting went well. 🙂

the meeting was largely pointless, unfortunately, which I have come to expect.

However I followed it up by sending a copy of the notes that I had written to prepare for it, giving examples of what I meant, and the impact on me.

In the meantime I am going to put down my boundaries every which way so there is no mistaking what they are, and manage upwards 100% of the time, rather than shouldering the weight of a boss who doesn't bother engaging with me, other than to tell me off.

@SupremeCommanderServalan I like your strategy! Like you say, you can always stay off sick for longer, catch up on sleep, listen to relaxing music and so on. Radio 3 has relaxing podcasts.

Call this woman out . Call her a bully and tell her to stop .

So your colleagues are awful. Your manager is awful. And HR is awful.
I'm sorry but you have to leave.

Get your exit plan together and GO!

Skipping off into the distance for a much better work life.

Get out.

Ha Ha - yes exactly - I love asking a seemingly interested but actually pointless question when in a toxic meeting.

This is all excellent advice.

Thank you again, to everyone who has taken the time to comment on this thread.

Good luck! We are all rooting for you! You deserve a better working environment.

Hi OP what happened in the end.Im currently in a toxic workplace it is dreadful.Gossip,cliques draining place for me.

Just caught this thread after having a horrendous 9 month work experience after 14 years in a previous job that I loved (left due to having reached full potential). Like OP, I was stressed working 70-90 hour weeks with no thanks and rewarded with more work. At 5pm on Friday I was appointed to a new role with 30% salary increase.

It was so tough doing my day job and applying for new roles, all the reading and research etc. Was up until 3am on work nights revising. But I decided to spend the hours investing in me and my future and not a thankless work place.

Just posted to place mark in the hope OP gives an update, give solidarity and hope to everyone else suffering x

My update is that I left - I started a new job in the summer. People in new job are lovely, really friendly and I honestly can't see any nasty stuff happening here.

However. I spent so long in my old job just trying to keep my head above water that I operated for far too long in fight or flight mode, and I really don't know if I can make the transition. I feel like a feral old alley cat that has gone too many rounds with the local toms. And I am so deskilled. I'm trying to get my head around systems that I really should know, but I feel like I am years behind were I need to be.

So, please don't do what I did and stay on thinking it would change - it won't. It will just drag you down.

Congrats @LadyLolaRuben spin out doing your handover notes and don't take on any extra work while you are working your notice. My boss tried to get me to sort out all sorts of stuff in my last couple of weeks that was his responsibility. I deleted the emails once my reference was in.

Well done supremecommanderservalan.
I thinks it's human nature to hope things improve,if I work harder,when they get used to me etc.
They have improved a bit for me but nothing like an easy caring flowing worklife.
Hard work I'm up for difficult people not so much.

Well done ladylolaruben.

I would call in sick. Take a couple of days to relax then update cv and apply for things. You need out . There are no redeeming features here. Fingers crossed you’ll feel better for doing it and get some interviews. It’s a shame it drags you down doesn’t it? X x

Leave and get them to hire you back at double the day rate -
Life as a contractor ! For its cons the ups are avoiding workplace toxicity and I love it

Took a long hard road to get to being self employed though ,
Including workplace bullying

Thank you for your good wishes and well done OP. I have to give 3 months notice so don't start new job until Xmas. As PP suggests I'm refusing to work over my contracted hours until I leave. I feel like a weight has been lifted off me

Ah ideal if you can get the right job. I feel I’ve been fighting a failure for like the past 5 months and don’t think I can remain cheerful/upbeat/optimistic about it anymore to the point I feel there is more mis selling on the employers side then ever before but good for you, OP.