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Original poster

Unable to work at pace required

37 replies

MGeorge77 · 04/02/2023 10:30

I am a management consultant in a client facing role and have to work with really massive workloads and very tight deadlines for a large part of the year. There is some downtime when I am in between projects which means a slightly relaxed pace and 9-5 working.

I have always struggled with focus and am very easily distracted. I am guilty of everything you can imagine - from doomscrolling, reading the newspaper, cleaning the house, calling my mum etc - to avoid just doing the work. As a result if I have for example work that could be done in 8 hours with absolute focus, I might end up taking 12 hours (on a good day) which means a lot of stress and anxiety, precious time away for family and friends, zero exercise and on top of that I have acquired a reputation at work for ‘not working at pace’ which is really harming my career prospects

The quality of my work is absolutely fine, it’s just people are nervous to work with me because they think I will miss deadlines which I never have as I end up pulling late nights at great personal cost to myself as my physical and mental health are suffering.

i have tried to analyse why I do so and there are a few factors including that I am introverted and need time to recharge myself after discussions/meetings. But I think i mostly procrastinate because it does not give me any immediate satisfaction and this is a habit I seem to have unfortunately acquired since I was young. It’s now become really bad and I am really worried for my health as I seem to get headaches and I worry about getting high blood pressure. On top of everything I feel immense shame for being unable to manage what others seem to be doing with no/some effort. I am 44 and now going through a painful mid life crisis of sorts and feel really sad at times thinking of what I could accomplish in my remaining life if I were simply more efficient at my work. I have tried a few other things and don’t think changing careers is an option for me at least in the next 2-3 years

Has anyone faced this? I will be grateful for any advice

OP posts:
RoseBucket · 04/02/2023 10:34

Yep this is me! Although I do have ADHD. I tend to waste time until the deadline looms and I have no choice but to get on with it.

Really, really struggle to concentrate on one thing and a chaotic thinker.

I do have to take the dog out for a walk and have a word with myself and can only really function with a day book with a to do list written down to tick off.

Merlott · 04/02/2023 10:36

Change jobs to a less fast paced one? Or where the workload expected is reasonable? Consulting is notorious for unrealistic expectations. Plenty of options for you to move on and get a better balance.

Summerhillsquare · 04/02/2023 10:36

Sounds like the now infamous perimenopause brain fog to me. Combined with frankly unrealistic expectations of your employer. Even if it isn't the former, no one can maintain that sort of intensity for too long. Be kind to yourself.

ohlalalalalalalalala · 04/02/2023 10:37

Sounds like ADHD to me? I end up having to work most weekends because I haven’t manage to get my work done during working hours when WFH.

MsEmmelinePankhurst · 04/02/2023 10:38

Ex management consultant here. The problem isn’t you. It’s the workload expected of you, which is no doubt unrealistically and unreasonably huge.

Pleasegivemeyourwisdom · 04/02/2023 10:39

I’m 44 and experiencing the same. Just to make you feel better.

id like someone to evaluate me, ha!

Dragonsandcats · 04/02/2023 10:41

MsEmmelinePankhurst · 04/02/2023 10:38

Ex management consultant here. The problem isn’t you. It’s the workload expected of you, which is no doubt unrealistically and unreasonably huge.

I think this is probably the case

S72 · 04/02/2023 10:41

Have a read about what social media/smart phones/instant access to content is doing for our concentration levels. Many people find it hard to focus - from working professionals, to students.

My advice would be to wean yourself off of smartphones (ironic writing this on a phone haha). Leave it in a separate room while you focus on a project.

First thing in the morning, set aside 15min to plan your day.

Try "time blocking" and giving yourself specific time slots to focus on a specific task. Factor in assigned break times, and schedule in time for exercise and downtime. After each meeting, make sure you have time for a short break and most importantly, a screen break.

Set an intention to keep to your schedule. Remind your self of this throughout the day. Stick reminders on your laptop and around your home to give encouragement.

If you are working remotely and keep getting distracted, can you book an office space for a short time?

Brains love habits and unfortunately you are in the habit of procrastinating. It will take time, effort and dedication to break that.

As an aside, also consider whether you have any additional or undiagnosed needs, and whether any reasonable adjustments should be made.

Porthia · 04/02/2023 10:42

I could have written this OP. I think I have always been a bit like this but since smart phones made procrastinating so much easier and more rewarding it’s much much worse. On paper things look great, I went to Oxbridge, had a decent career, now run my own moderately successful business, but I am struggling. Feel like I can’t focus on anything and end up doom scrolling or faffing with unimportant things. The more stressed I feel the worse it is and of course the more I procrastinate, the less I can focus, the more stressed I get… My house is also a disaster zone. I have wondered about ADHD myself tbh.

so no advice but solitarily and perhaps just take it one day at a time. I have been trying the “pomodoro” method where you work for 25 mins (timed with an alarm set) and then take 5-10 mins break. I do find it helps force me to get on with things!

Porthia · 04/02/2023 10:43

Oh and put the phone in another room!

RoseBucket · 04/02/2023 10:44

I’ve not heard of the pomodoro method, I’m going to give that a go myself.

DelphiniumBlue · 04/02/2023 11:29

Is working from home helpful for you? Sounds like there are a lot of distractions, would you not find it easier to focus if you were in the office?

drunkornot · 04/02/2023 11:33

DelphiniumBlue · 04/02/2023 11:29

Is working from home helpful for you? Sounds like there are a lot of distractions, would you not find it easier to focus if you were in the office?

I agree. I can’t believe you do all of those things whilst you’re being paid to work:

doomscrolling, reading the newspaper, cleaning the house, calling my mum etc - to avoid just doing the work

that is ridiculous - it’s a waste of company money surely, if they’re having to pay you to do overtime for the same work others complete during their allocated working hours.

you won’t get those same distractions in the office.

growinggreyer · 04/02/2023 11:54

Can you make deadlines work for you? Eg if you planned to complete a piece of work by lunchtime, you could email the person as you start and say that it would be ready by then. That would give you an immediate adrenaline spike and urgency to get it done because the person would be watching the clock and anticipating your next email. You could craft a professional sounding message that would sound like you are meeting their needs and keeping them updated on their case.

greenacrylicpaint · 04/02/2023 12:00

a very common issue.

what I do is: schedule in my calendar every hour (outside of meetings of course) 5 min for myself and 10min for collaboration (emails, phonecalls etc).
rest of the working hours it's head down and get on with it.

piefacezzz · 04/02/2023 12:02

Try the Pomodoro technicque - 4 x 25 work / 5 min break then a 30 minute break. And repeat as necessary. Also are you exercising? A dopamine boost may help.

Original poster
MGeorge77 · 04/02/2023 12:25

Thanks for your replies, I am grateful to know I am not the only one. i really do not want to be like this but the habit of procrastination is so deeply entrenched I dont know where to start. I rarely seem to have the emotional energy to try time management techniques and end up giving up after 15-20 mins. It seems a part of me is laughing at me saying ‘you’re too far gone for these games, they won’t work for you’

i have also wondered about ADHD too because even as a child I had this sheer inability to push myself to do my homework which I could never understand myself, and I used to get punished all the time for it. Should I ask my GP about it?

OP posts:
OnGoldenPond · 04/02/2023 12:35

@drunkornot the idea of a management consultant getting paid overtime made me laugh! Not a chance! Most in the field are working at least one day per week of unpaid overtime, often more. OP will be doing these extra hours at her own expense, so no need to worry about her poor employer getting fleeced Grin

WeAreAllLionesses · 04/02/2023 12:36

I get great satisfaction from making lists and then crossing off the completed tasks - would that help?

Christmascracker0 · 04/02/2023 12:39

Do you have an office you could go to, or could you start going to a shared office space?

I am the same, I find it so hard to focus and it’s so much worse when I’m at home (on my own) all the time. I find I am much more productive in a proper work environment!

Grimchmas · 04/02/2023 12:41

I hear you and am similar. I believe I am slightly adhd but not sufficient enough to be diagnosed.

Using apps to block myself out of the time sinking apps and websites helps me.

Whataretheodds · 04/02/2023 12:41

Definitely get an ADHD assessment.

I could have written your post (and was diagnosed last year).

I also suffer from anxiety and have come to realise that as well as the procrastination tendencies that come with ADHD I have been engaging in deeply avoidant behaviours because of perfectionism. I'm scared of doing a bad job, i don't want to socialise a bad first draft, i have mental blocks around scheduling calls with stakeholders when i don't know all the answers. Procrastination is often an emotional management challenge not a time management challenge.

It sounds as though you are struggling with some exec function. That can be ADHD, can be anxiety/depressin, can be perimenopause, can be burnout.

Might you be able to carve out some time from your working schedule to explore techniques and sources of help? It would be an investment by your employer in your improved performance and therefore team performance.

flabbygoldfish · 04/02/2023 12:54

I can be the same as it is a mixed on not wanting to do the task (boring & tedious) or also been a bit of a perfectionist or just not sure if I can do it. I was told plan the day so you have tasks you need to complete and boil the frog first (do the task which is least appealing first).

Use timers 45 mins focus, then a 5 mins break and then another 45 min focus. Phone should be left untouched during those 45 mins and in airplane mode to stop any notifications etc.

Mabelface · 04/02/2023 12:55

Adhd! I was the same before I was medicated. It could take me a good couple of hours to even start working, then manically hyper focus to get it done. Now, my work distracts me from my phone rather than the other way round.

They also mean that I'm no longer anxious, just waiting to be in the shit for something. My life has changed immeasurably since October. I'm a really high performer and have just been promoted. Never thought I'd get here. I'd highly recommend an assessment.

SleekMamma · 04/02/2023 12:59

ADHD.
Educate yourself and put things in place as if you had a diagnosis. And watch as your life improves around you.

If you did get a diagnosis of ADHD you are theoretically protected under employment legislation.

But it does sound like you are in a very unsuitable job.

Strategy jobs suit better as less crazy deadlines.