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Original poster

Boss asking me to try to make appointments relating to pregnancy out of work hours

144 replies

Workpregnant · 02/02/2023 08:59

I think ‘try to’ might be the sticking point here.

I work three days a week, and am pregnant. My next appointment is on a day I work and boss agreed to it but clearly reluctantly and asked me to ‘try’ to make appointments for days I don’t work.

I have no control over this at all though, so I don’t think it’s reasonable to ask. Or am I being over sensitive?

OP posts:
cavebaby · 02/02/2023 09:08

I think it's reasonable for you to try but if you can't then you can't and as you're entitled to time off for appointments they shouldn't be making an issue of it.

Perhaps nip this in the bud by emailing your boss something along the lines of 'I have sensed some frustration around my maternity appointments falling on my working days. I wanted to let you know that where there is an option I will endeavour to always book appointments on my days off however this is not always possible and there will be times when I have to attend these essential appointment within my working hours.'

There's nothing they can say to that other than 'there's no frustration, it's not a problem at all' without legally putting their foot in it.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 02/02/2023 09:10

You have a legal right to paid time off for antenatal care.

From his comment though, I think maybe he thinks it's like booking a GP, you phone up or go online and book a time and date. Explain you are allocated to a clinic and have no control over the automatic appointments. And remind him of your right to this paid time.

MaggieMagpie357 · 02/02/2023 09:10

I can see both sides here. I would offer to swap my work day that week as a compromise.

GoodChat · 02/02/2023 09:10

I think you should try and compromise.

Toddlerteaplease · 02/02/2023 09:12

I think if you work three days a week, then it's not unreasonable to ask that appointments are on your days off. But they should be understanding if they can't be. As it's not something you have much control over.

SweetSakura · 02/02/2023 09:14

Can you switch working days? I don't think once you are only 3 days a week that as a minimum you should try to avoid routine appointments on those days

OversizedJumperDress · 02/02/2023 09:16

Were people able to book the majority of their appointments? I was told a date and time.

Additionally, my midwife only worked Thursdays at the GP I was registered with. So again, no choice in the day of the appointment.

I'd make sure your boss is aware that you don't typically book your appointments.

Lkydfju · 02/02/2023 09:16

I can see why he’d ask but generally it’s not something you can control; in my experience you’re just told when appointments are and I wouldn’t be stressing yourself requesting to change them

cavebaby · 02/02/2023 09:17

MaggieMagpie357 · 02/02/2023 09:10

I can see both sides here. I would offer to swap my work day that week as a compromise.

And should Monday-Friday full timers offer to come in over the weekend to make up time for their appointments?

PurpleTygrrr · 02/02/2023 09:17

I work 3 days and I did try and make antenatal appointments on my non working days when it was in my control. Sometimes though I would just be sent an appointment to attend with the consultant which wasn't in my control. Sometimes it can't be helped and you're entitled to time off for these appointments

pizzaHeart · 02/02/2023 09:19

Some people don’t get completely how the system works, they genuinely think that you have a choice or any control over the matter. DD was under consultant who was seeing patients F2F only once a week 9-12 on Wednesdays. There was no many options for parents who worked on Wednesdays.
Your boss is right that ideally you should aim for an appointment on your free days. I would explain politely with some reassurance that it’s your aim but it’s not always possible.

Ballcactus · 02/02/2023 09:20

You are legally protected to take them anytime

LadyGaGasPokerFace · 02/02/2023 09:25

You have little to no control over when appointments are made. Would you be even able to change it?
www.gov.uk/working-when-pregnant-your-rights

Crumpledstilstkin · 02/02/2023 09:25

This is really no difference to trying to book a dentist appointment after you finish work. If you can you can, if you can't you have to miss work for it.

Just explain you have no control over the appointment times and assume he's probably had someone previously who booked every appointment going on their working days to leave their days off free. Most bosses have had one of those and learn that the system is basically set up so you can't discipline anyone for pisstaking unless you specifically ask people not to pisstake.

fpurplea · 02/02/2023 09:28

The majority of my antenatal appointments were on the same day a week, if that is the case for you would it be possible too switch your working days around? I know you don't have to, but it's a bit of give and take and means your blood has zero reason to be grumpy if an occasional appointment does fall on a work day?

roarfeckingroarr · 02/02/2023 09:40

Legally they have to give you time off for appointments. With the NHS as it is, it's hard to pick and choose when your appointments take place.

Your boss is unreasonable. Bet it's a man.

roarfeckingroarr · 02/02/2023 09:41

The OP shouldn't have to switch working days

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 02/02/2023 09:47

Email him and ask him to clarify his position on ante-natal appointments in writing, cc HR if you have one.

ArcticSkewer · 02/02/2023 09:50

If you only work 3 days a week, with regular appointments on a working day perhaps swap your working day?
If it's a one-off, just explain you can't choose the day.
I probably would have still swapped my day, otherwise it looks like you just enjoy the paid time off (you probably do, who wouldn't)

ArcticSkewer · 02/02/2023 09:52

roarfeckingroarr · 02/02/2023 09:41

The OP shouldn't have to switch working days

I don't think anyone, even the boss, thinks she has to.

AGirlsNameIsAryaStark · 02/02/2023 09:56

@Crumpledstilstkin you actually have a legal right to reasonable paid time off for antenatal appointments, so its not the same as any other appointment. It can also include antenatal classes if they've been recommended by a doctor. They can ask for proof of an appointment if needed.

OP, I would just remind them that you don't get to choose the date/times of your appointments and if they're still narky, nudge them towards the ACAS guidelines for pregnant employee's rights at work - www.acas.org.uk/your-maternity-leave-pay-and-other-rights/time-off-for-pregnancy-appointments

Crumpledstilstkin · 02/02/2023 10:04

AGirlsNameIsAryaStark · 02/02/2023 09:56

@Crumpledstilstkin you actually have a legal right to reasonable paid time off for antenatal appointments, so its not the same as any other appointment. It can also include antenatal classes if they've been recommended by a doctor. They can ask for proof of an appointment if needed.

OP, I would just remind them that you don't get to choose the date/times of your appointments and if they're still narky, nudge them towards the ACAS guidelines for pregnant employee's rights at work - www.acas.org.uk/your-maternity-leave-pay-and-other-rights/time-off-for-pregnancy-appointments

Fair enough, I always thought you legally have the right to medical appointments.

Anyway, it's reasonable time off that matters here. From the bosses perspective is it reasonable to book an appointment on her working day when she doesn't have to? I really think the key is communicating that the booking is out of her control i.e. that it is reasonable to always have it on a working day.

MaggieMagpie357 · 02/02/2023 10:51

@cavebaby how is this the same thing??

cavebaby · 02/02/2023 11:14

@MaggieMagpie357

How is it not? Do you expect women to make up the time for their appointments on their non-working days or not?

Part timers face these attitudes all the time. Generally people go part time for a reason, often caring responsibilities. Maybe they even work a second job on the other days It often isn't simple at all to 'just swap days'. And even if it is, why should they? Their working days were agreed by the company, just like those working Monday to Friday. If those working 5 days aren't expected to work on their day off to make up the time then nor should part timers.

AGirlsNameIsAryaStark · 02/02/2023 11:28

@Crumpledstilstkin you do, the difference with maternity is it's paid time off whereas normal appointments your employer has no obligation to pay you during your appointment absence.

Maternity discrimination is such a big area it's one of the few times "reasonable" is actually defined as including time off for the actual appointment and travel to and from. It doesn't include making it a suitable time for the employer and they can't make you change your appointment times.

It completely depends on your relationship with your employer though, some might be happy to try and keep them out of work time but you have no legal obligation to, especially if they are making it awkward for you.