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Original poster

Nurse or teacher

53 replies

Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:28

Hi everyone I've not posted before but I am at a crossroads and really not sure what to do. I know that nurse or teacher seems strange as they are so different so I'll explain.
I didn't finish my a levels due to unavoidable factors in my life at the time. However I always wanted to do nursing or midwifery.
I applied for an access course 11 years ago to do midwifery but found out I was pregnant and decided to postpone.
Now I have 3 children age 10, 8 and 4.

I work as a classroom assistant which fits around my kids perfectly. I have no support of any family as they live very far away.

I want to go back and do an access course. My husband and 8 talked about it. He works long hours and his logic is I should be a teacher as I enjoy being a classroom assistant and working with kids. I also run a Saturday drama club for children. I was thinking of being a drama or English teacher as those are the subjects I loved growing up (after science). It makes sense as the shift patterns I'm guessing would be tricky as a nurse. Teacher fits in with the kids etc.
I do love working with kids.

But I can't help feeling so sad about the nursing/midwifery. It was always my dream and I feel such an incredibly large pull towards it.

Has anyone got any experience in these jobs and can shed some light. Anything is helpful.
For example teachers. Primary or secondary. Nursing... Is it possible with kids and no support.
Anything at all would be great.

Thankyou and sorry for that long post

OP posts:
UnicorseTime · 23/01/2023 08:30

Both are incredibly difficult with kids and no support. Nursing will involve shifts - sometimes overnight. Teaching will be long days and you wont be able to drop or pick up your kids from school/ go to any of their plays or shows etc.

Have you looked at Occupational Therapy or Speech and Language ? Still would use your people skills/science and an allied health profession.

BumblebeeBum · 23/01/2023 08:31

Why do you describe yourself as having no support when you are married?

Original poster
Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:32

Bumblebee because my husband works really long hours.

OP posts:
Original poster
Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:33

Forgot to say by the time I have done the access course and uni. Kids will be 16. 14 and 10.

OP posts:
Original poster
Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:34

Unicorse will look into that now I don't know much about it

OP posts:
UnicorseTime · 23/01/2023 08:34

Not sure why you said teacher fits with the kids? So many teachers leave after having kids as it really isn't family friendly. In school 7.30/8 - 5 and then work in the evening during term time. Yes there is the holidays but during term time you wont be around your kids much, especially as a new teacher.

heartchakra · 23/01/2023 08:35

I trained as a nurse age 38 qualifying at 41. I had three children the youngest of whom was around eight when I qualified. My husband worked locally and was able to help with some of the childcare plus before and after school and holiday clubs. But a friend also helped with the kids a lot as our families all lived far away. It was hard when I was on placement as I had to work the shifts I was given / earlies/lates that would now be long days (12 hour shifts). At one point I was doing 14 hour shifts. After qualifying you can fit your job around your lifestyle so if you hate nights/weekends you could work as a community nurse or in a clinic. 15 years after qualifying I now work 30 hpw 8-4 four days a week and the occasional weekend cover as a band 7 specialist nurse. I don't regret training. There's such a huge variety of nursing roles out there. And it's constant learning.

BoxOfCats · 23/01/2023 08:35

Why are you the one who should sacrifice your ideal career to be able to work around the kids? Presumably they're his kids too? Just because he earns more now doesn't automatically mean his career has to take priority.

Whinge · 23/01/2023 08:35

I don't think either are great choices for someone who needs to fit around children and has no support.

If you enjoy being a classroom assistant and it works for you and your family,
is there a reason you want to change jobs?

UnicorseTime · 23/01/2023 08:36

Oh cross posted - I imagined you meant younger kids! Much less of a problem then :)

Would you do it at a local uni to save moving? Might be worth going for a look round or finding out about their courses specifically. Are the local college doing the access course? They may have a careers advisor who can see you?

bookish83 · 23/01/2023 08:39

I would look into being a paediatric SLT (speech and language) you can work in schools, clinics, or even specialise in neonatal in the future. The training is generic but then you choose which area to work in once qualified. You would be snapped up with your experience

Much more family friendly hours and your training would be similar as you would need an access course and degree for all subjects.

EarthPunchingBack · 23/01/2023 08:40

If your kids will travel independently to secondary school then go for it, if you’re still going to have to take them then neither will work due to working hours.

SD1978 · 23/01/2023 08:41

I don't see how you can facilitate shift work with a 10 yr old, or currently 8 yr old with uni, and absolutely no help to be honest.

Original poster
Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:42

Yes unicorse I can do the access course at a college 15 minutes from me. The university is almost an hour away which means commuting but not impossible.
Teachers at the school I work at work 8.15- 4. So if kids were in high school or go to after school club it fits in quite well.

Whinge I never got the chance to go to university and u was so so academic I loved school. I've put it in hold for a long time. But I really want to reach a bit more of my potential I love classroom assistant but it doesn't challenge me at all. And I feel like I need more.
Maybe that's selfish but I'm also thinking of money when the kids are older we will need more money. So both these jobs would provide that. Currently I get £9 odd an hour. And end up working over my hours and don't get paid for it. Etc I don't mind. Its a lovely job to have... But is it the job I want to have the rest of my life? No.

OP posts:
fairgame84 · 23/01/2023 08:46

For nursing you need childcare for long days, nights and weekends. I don't know if the arrangements are different at the uni you want to go to but ours expects students to do the full range of shifts.
We have now been told we cannot let them have a late start or early finish due to public transport or childcare as we used to be a flexible ward for placements.

Parentandteacher · 23/01/2023 08:49

Both are difficult with a family. Teaching isn’t family friends anymore sadly. But nursing will be near on impossible. You can get roles that are more sociable hours but they are usually occupied by experienced nurses who’ve ‘done their time’ on the wards pre-kids.

Id stick with teaching but plan to be part time otherwise you’ll never see your kids. Thankfully the retention crisis is such that it’s easier to negotiate part time now than it used to be.

nannynick · 23/01/2023 08:49

Why not some other jobs?

Financial Planner or Financial Coach... it involves teaching people about their finances. You may be able to work hours around children being at school.

Do need to be good at maths but you need that for teaching or nursing.

If you like teaching, helping people, then I would look at what other jobs there are that involve that.

Parentandteacher · 23/01/2023 08:51

Just to pick up on the working hours comment- I promise you teachers aren’t working until 4pm. They are working from home after 4pm (often 7-11pm). Do not plan to work full time with kids.
If part time teaching doesn’t pay well enough, find another career.
Teachers will multiple children working full time either have a very supportive family life, a nanny (paid for by duel income) or are on the verge of a breakdown.

Parentandteacher · 23/01/2023 08:52

With and dual!

Whinge · 23/01/2023 08:54

Whinge I never got the chance to go to university and u was so so academic I loved school. I've put it in hold for a long time. But I really want to reach a bit more of my potential

That makes sense, but why nursing or teaching? There are so many other jobs out there with better hours and pay that will enable you to stretch your mind and expand your skills.

Margo34 · 23/01/2023 08:55

Who would you rather strike alongside, fellow nurses or fellow teachers?

Surfsenior · 23/01/2023 08:57

In reality ANY full time job is likely to have difficulties fitting around kids - few jobs in reality let you skip out gaily when you have to bail to collect sick children, or take a day off when they are ill, or turn up late because of class assemblies. But I would expect nursing is one of the worst, due to the requirement to be on shift. You could hardly walk out regularly in the middle of delivering a baby because you had a phone call to say your dc had got into a fight at school or was vomiting, could you?

Midwifery and nursing will be so hard with shift hours.

Teaching would be a much better choice - my dd has had many job-share primary school teachers who just do one or two days a week so the “main” class teacher covers 3 or 4 days. These arrangements seem to work very well. Yes there is evening work, yes you’d need wrap around care, yes your DH would need to step up to help you. But this is common to the vast majority of FT working parents in my experience, unless they are in junior roles which are a strict 9 to 5 (and in turn, those roles often offer the LEAST flexibility in terms of time off or being able to skip out for events at school, and have so little monetary reward probably not worth the effort of the job).

Would I attempt becoming a teacher
with 3 primary school aged kids? No. I wouldn’t. I might try it when the two youngest are capable of walking themselves to school alone.

Teaching jobs will save you a fortune in kids clubs in vacations.

But there is the struggle of random inset days to cover(which can be different days of course in your own school and also, once you have kids at primary and at secondary school they can fall on different days so it is a real problem. Inset days are a nightmare as there are no kids clubs for those days.

it is hard to know what to do with secondary school kids when you are at work all day - leave 3 kids home all day alone? It’s asking a lot of your eldest to baby sit. Lots of people have kids so taking time off for summer or Christmas or half term holidays is often a huge wrangle within teams, with people ending up doing masses of cover and unpaid overtime to “earn” the time off.

Original poster
Turtlebreath · 23/01/2023 08:58

I understand they do things in the evening too but would that not be something I could do considering my children will be teens by then. Or when they're in bed. What I meant by the working hours in school is that I could be home for dinner. Kids would be getting bus home etc.

OP posts:
Notellinganyone · 23/01/2023 08:59

If you want to be a secondary school English or Drama teacher you’ll need a degree first and then a PGCE - that’s four years full time study which will cost you 36 k in tuition fees alone. While the holidays help with managing children term times are absolutely manic. I had three kids and taught full time and couldn’t have done it without my DHs equal input. Primary will also require similar training.

ArseInTheCoOpWindow · 23/01/2023 08:59

Do not be a teacher. You don’t get the holidays. I used to work through most of mine. Started at 7:30, left about 6:30. More work on the evening. Accountability and stress are just not worth it. It broke my mental health.

Teachers and nurses are leaving on droves. You can’t even get a wee if you need one. I think both are the most family unfriendly jobs there are tbh.

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