Nurse or teacher

[Turtlebreath]

Hi everyone I've not posted before but I am at a crossroads and really not sure what to do. I know that nurse or teacher seems strange as they are so different so I'll explain.
I didn't finish my a levels due to unavoidable factors in my life at the time. However I always wanted to do nursing or midwifery.
I applied for an access course 11 years ago to do midwifery but found out I was pregnant and decided to postpone.
Now I have 3 children age 10, 8 and 4.

I work as a classroom assistant which fits around my kids perfectly. I have no support of any family as they live very far away.

I want to go back and do an access course. My husband and 8 talked about it. He works long hours and his logic is I should be a teacher as I enjoy being a classroom assistant and working with kids. I also run a Saturday drama club for children. I was thinking of being a drama or English teacher as those are the subjects I loved growing up (after science). It makes sense as the shift patterns I'm guessing would be tricky as a nurse. Teacher fits in with the kids etc.
I do love working with kids.

But I can't help feeling so sad about the nursing/midwifery. It was always my dream and I feel such an incredibly large pull towards it.

Has anyone got any experience in these jobs and can shed some light. Anything is helpful.
For example teachers. Primary or secondary. Nursing... Is it possible with kids and no support.
Anything at all would be great.

Thankyou and sorry for that long post

Don’t underestimate the impact having an exhausted parent has on your kids.

I had to hire a sat morning nanny when I worked full time, just so I could get through the workload and still see my kids in the evening. As they get older, they want your attention in the evening.

Yeah you could be home for dinner, but then you have to do school work before or after it, usually both. And it’s just another thing you need to squeeze in and you resent it.

Ive found my teen needs much more interaction and help in the eveings. It was much easier when she was younger.

Do not do teaching! And please don't be under any illusion that teachers in your school only work 8-4. When are they doing their marking in those hours? Or responding to endless emails, doing duties and detentions, planning their lessons for the next day, attending meetings/parents evenings, contacting parents, completing never ending admin, or simply just tidying their room from the days lessons... Teaching is not an 8-4 job. Period.

To get through my day I have to be in by 7.30, often work through lunch (always work through morning break), not leave until 5.30 at the earliest just to give me an hour and half at home with my children before putting them to bed. I'm then eating my dinner with my laptop on the go doing everything that I couldn't squeeze into the working day, until I am so tired I'm not making any sense. And that is with a very supportive partner who works shorter hours than me, otherwise it would be impossible (if it isn't already...)

There is a reason why both of these professions are currently striking!!

I mean... What does everyone do then when everyone is telling me that working full time with kids is basically unfair to the kids etc. Could I not do part time?
What job would work well?
Other than the suggested occupational therapy and speach therapy.

Every other job would mean that school holidays would be a nightmsre.im in northern ireland. Is it different here? The teachers I know lean heavily on the classroom assistants to sort out homework and marking etc.

I want what's best for my kids too so reading the comments I think nursing is unfortunately not going to work. Which I kind of knew but just find it hard to let go of.

I just love helping people. I want to be stretched and challenged more
And I want to be there for my kids at the same time. It's a tough one.

Actually this is truer than I expected - my dc2 is in bed at 8pm but my dd1 who is at secondary school is often up until 10.30pm, wanting to talk, pick my brain about homework, or play cards or board games or show me something funny on YouTube. It is hard to say, “I need to work for a few hours, can you amuse yourself but then I’m all yours at bedtime.” It’s even harder to give them your time then start working again at 10.30pm and be still going at 1am! I’m in my 40s and find my dd’s evening energy very tiring.

in short: no easy answers!

Having done both I would recommend neither!! Agree with others speech and language therapist or occupational therapist both much more family friendly hours and could work in a school based environment if that’s your thing

Is there a difference between secondary teaching and primary. I'm in a primary school atm. There is a cleaner for the rooms. Classroom assistants do all the boards and organising things. We photocopy and distribute homework. We mark both classwork and homework. The teacher leaves at 3.30/4 every day.
Obviously lesson planning etc but very little if any marking as it's done during class time by us.
Maybe I'm niave but thats how it appears. Maybe because it's primary?

Part time teaching is still a lot of work. And it's SO hard if you get landed with a sh*t jobshare who is on a totally different page to you.

I work PT as a teacher. Last year - my jobshare was awesome! This year - different jobshare is a nightmare.

Would you be thinking primary or secondary? Both very different kettles of fish.

I'm Uk (England) so no idea what teaching in Ireland is like really, but even working part time requires a lot of extra hours. And I try so hard not to go I to school in the holidays but it's is literally the only time I can get all those 'other' jobs done that fall to the wayside during term time. So childcare is still required in the holidays.

And if you want to actually go away on holiday in the school holidays, well, part time wages definitely make that fairly impossible too.

It's probably because you don't see all the work the teacher has to do at night to keep the show on the road. Teaching does look great to the observer.

Bit like with drs when they only see patients for x no of hours a day. But we don't see all the stuff they have to do behind the scenes.

I’ve never met a colleague who left that early. They must be working at home or else it’s a highly unusual situation.

Schools here finish at 2. Or 3 for older children.

Honestly, both are in such a mess at the moment and have been for years, I wouldn’t go into either now.

From a nursing POV, I don’t think there are going to be any great leaps in working conditions or patient experience in the near future.

Not teaching.. anything but teaching! 🙈 If you’ve already worked in a school then you’re bound to have seen some of the challenges but I would advise anyone considering it to join the Facebook group ‘exit the classroom and thrive’ and just read through a handful of posts from the 110k+ members. I’m currently off from my primary teaching job with work related stress. I had never had anxiety in my life but I’m now so anxious because of work that I’m off and scared to even go to the supermarket in case I see parents/kids from school. It’s so not family friendly at all. Never mind family friendly, you can’t even go to a doctors appointment if you need one. It’s micromanaged beyond belief and it’s the only job I know of where you can qualify but years down the line still need to be observed by someone in management 4 times a year to check you’re actually able to do your job. It’s completely bizarre!

My biggest regret in life is deciding to do teaching at uni. I’m not planning to go back and have my notice written. I so wish I’d become a sonographer instead!

I had both my children through my nurses training and we made it work and now I work 2 nights a week and I am with my kids 95% of the time and do every school drop off and pick up. I self roster my shifts for the busiest nights of the week so always get them because they are always short.

However...my DH was my biggest advocate during my training. You need to be full time on placement hours so 3/3/4 x 12 hour shifts a week or 9-5 if community and there is no leeway on that at all. He did all the nursery drop offs and pick ups and worked when DS was in bed. He consistently paid the bills if i was on placement (50% of the time) so couldnt work bank shifts. We recognised that it would be the best thing to help us as a family and all sacrificed a lot over 3 years to make it happen. If your DH is non committal at present there is no way it would have worked for me.

Strange, I was sat here thinking the same regarding training to be a nurse or teacher as I miss working directly with people. I'd love to work part time as well as my kids are 5 (twins). I currently work ft but hours are flexible, I can work from home etc. It's like working part time but I miss caring.

I'm a Speech and Language Therapist and agree with the other suggestions that it might be a good fit.

You could work in schools with education-focus or in hospitals with a more medical-focus (and lots of other specialisms too).

Lots of trusts offer part time and term time only contracts.

It's a great job for a work-life balance. I've very rarely taken work home or worked significantly outside my hours.

My husbands we could make it work in a few years time. Right now he is working 12 hour days as we have alot of costs atm that need paying. I work as classroom assistant and pick up kids etc. But he has his own business. So once I'm in university he will be able to work shorter days maybe twice or three times a week and pick up the kids then maybe make up the work on the other days.
I guess I would need to know exactly how many hours at uni or placement is needed etc and what are shift patterns. Will it be 5 days a week that he is needed to pick up the kids. If so probably not possible. If it is a few days we could manage it.
I looked at speech therapy. Sounds like a very rewarding job however I couldn't do it as my closest university doesn't do it and the closest one that does do it is around 2 hours away.

There are alot of issues with nursing at the moment, however the positive of a shortage means once you qualify you could pretty much just work the hours you want if you are prepared to work agency or bank. Night shifts can also work well with school aged children.

I am a nurse, being totally honest, without support it can be difficult with the shift patterns and having children. It is not impossible, there are jobs that will fit around school hours or as close to and there is always the option of changing hours to suit (slightly more difficult), but you would have less of an option which field you were in.

That said, I am a senior sister with an out of hours service which is 9.45pm-07.30am, I then sleep whilst they are at school. This works very well for me and because I get paid 30% extra (unsocial hours) I only have to work 2 nights a week.

The training would be the main issue for you with nursing I think. There is very little flexibility, you have to do 30-38 hours a week and these mainly consist of long days 7.15am-7.45pm. I was able to do a few short days 7.15am-3.15pm but It depends where you are based at that time. I struggled massively with training and just one child and a lot of support.

Thank you for this comment. Honestly nursing is my dream job. I've always wanted to be a nurse and its always been there. I'm 33 now and still feel this hugely strong pull to it. So even this comment gives me a little hope.
My mum was a nurse (she has passed away now) but when she was training I would have been reading all her books with all different medical ailments. I was fascinated. I've always loved things like that and I love working with people. I know I could be a great nurse I have patience and great people skills and I do everything to the best I can. I love biology and the human body. I just feel like I'm meant to be a nurse. (I know that's really cheesy)
When you're doing the training with the university... Is it for the full year each year or is It only for part of the year!

Neither. Both are extremely hard work for limited pay. Aim for something more specialist-SaLT, OT etc.

So you get 2 weeks off over Christmas and 1 month off over summer which will either be August or September (they alternate).

Training will look something like: 3 months in uni- a minimum of 4 days a week, then 3 months of placement, then a month in uni, then another 2-3 months in placement, then either a months break or a months placement. Sometimes you are doing 30 hours placement and a day in uni simultaneously.

The course work and exams are intense as well, so lots of home-work.

I wont lie, it was the worst 4 years of my life and in the final year, for the first time ever, I ended up having to take sertraline and it took me around a year after qualifying to fully regain my mental health back.

However, I’m over 4 years post qualifying now and quite content with my decision. I feel I am in the best possible job I could have and it really suits me which has made it all worth while but the journey to here was tough!

If you feel passionately about nursing then go for it. Prepare yourself as much as possible, you’re going to have next to zero income coming in from you (it’s just too intense to do a substantial amount of outside work) so try and gather some savings now, you need to explore childcare options for your younger children and you need to be mentally ready for an intense 5 years (first year post qualifying is horrific, the responsibility is like nothing I can explain).

And then, you may be incredibly happy and fulfilled 😂.

… She’s says as nurses are leaving in the thousands and striking.

Once qualified would it be possible to work say 2 shifts 7-5 and one 12 hour night shift? Do you get some say in your hours or none at all?

Thanks so much for your comments they are so helpful ❤️

If you want to spend valuable time with your children, teaching does not “fit in/around” kids. I have been a very committed teacher for 11 years but now have a 2.5 year old and 4 month old. I will be looking to hand my notice in once I return. The amount of work required in the evenings and weekends was manageable when I was just ignoring my husband (although still not right) but when I was at work after having my first I used to sit and sob in the study on a weekend whilst doing all my work that I needed to do just to keep up with the basics whilst listening to my husband and son spending quality time together. I was in work from 7.30-5.30 everyday with the hope that I wouldn’t have to take work home with me for the evening, but I often still did. As it is just me and husband who also works full time, my son was in nursery for 11 hours a day, 5 days a week. I see yours are older so this won’t be so much of a problem but you may need to consider wrap around care for the youngest.
I also had to put him in nursery during the school holidays (when you are technically unpaid) for two or three days to get the assessment marking etc done that I simply could fit in to term time. Again, not a problem to spend those days of your holiday working when you don’t have kids but it was an extra cost to us as my husband has to work and we have no other support. Again, if your kids are older, they can amuse themselves but that is exactly what they will be doing very often - amusing themselves.
It is a great job in so many ways but now I have made the decision to leave, I feel a strange sense of relief!
I have never been a nurse so cannot comment but I imagine there are many similar problems that you would need to consider if you have no support other than husband.