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Original poster

Informal performance management-help!

101 replies

chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 19:20

Hello everyone,

NC as this post is identifying.

I was out on an informal performance management plan a couple of months ago due to some silly misunderstandings and silly reasons (in my view) but my line manager has taken a dislike to me and probably wants me out of the job.

Anyway, I applied for a senior position within my current team (didn't get it- obviously as my manager was conducting the interviews)- this was also before I knew I was on an informal performance plan. So I applied for the same senior position, but in another specialist area, elsewhere and I got the job. I have handed in my notice but my manager said that she will need to inform HR whether she will need to inform my new job that I am currently on an informal performance plan. Can she inform my new job this?

Also- I didn't inform HR about my new job and I did not use HR as my reference. Will HR know about the new job I'm going to.

OP posts:
Sunsetintheeast · 04/01/2023 21:03

burnoutbabe · 04/01/2023 20:55

But also complete rubbish.

You can give a bad reference as long as it is truthful (and you'd probably want evidence to back up that truth)

References are exempt from things like defamation as long as sone in good faith and relevant to the questions asked or information expected.

Show quote history

You’ve not read the thread have you. Taking this out of context is indeed rubbish, but read the thread and you’ll see the OP’s manger HASN’T been given as a referee. No permission to share personal information 🙄

burnoutbabe · 04/01/2023 21:12

If the company had been given permission to write an employee reference they can use the managers opinion in it

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 21:13

I don’t understand your manager. If they want to get rid of you, why are they trying to block your new role?

Because she's a nasty bully. She doesn't care about getting rid of her. She wants to make her miserable,

girlmom21 · 04/01/2023 21:14

chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 20:39

@LaughingCat

But don't I also need to provide a formal resignation letter to HR and tell them where my new place is??

Noooo. You don't need to tell them anything other than you're leaving and when.

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:21

Sigh. I wish I came on Mumsnet when I was initially on this performance plan. I had a request from a person who coordinates new starters/leavers and she asked me to write down the new job company I will going to. I told. Since reading all your messages. I have emailed to say that I would like my new place of work to be kept in confidence from my line managers.

My line manager has taken a dislike to me. I may not have much job experience like she has but I know my specialism very very well (I like reading)- to the point where the managers on top of her have praised my contributions to the team and have taken my ideas when trying to progress the company forward. Since then, I have felt that I have been micromanaged and are watching me very closely. I have had email after email saying 'X you have not done this' and time and time after again, I am pointing out to them to read my notes properly which shows that I have done it.

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Original poster
chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:22

burnoutbabe · 04/01/2023 21:03

Don't most places say that employees references can ONLY be done by hr and not by random managers.

And companies asking for references will want them from hr more than a random senior person.

So you giving name of someone else may be rejected anyway.

Of course they can't write to new companies out of the blue,only respond if a reference request is received.

They accepted the reference and I have an unconditional offer...

OP posts:
roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:23

If it’s a new role within a new company unrelated to your current employer, then your current HR won’t know who your new employer is. Theoretically they could find out through word of mouth eg if you tell another colleague or post something on social media (including LinkedIn).

Ultimately in your position I’d go on full damage control. Say minimal things to colleagues/management about the new job. Don’t involve yourself in a leaving do or exit interviews. Don’t answer questions about your new employer. If even consider going off sick for the duration of my notice period (if I couldn’t take a block of AL instead)

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:24

roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:02

I don’t understand your manager. If they want to get rid of you, why are they trying to block your new role?

To clarify - is this new job an internal move elsewhere in your company or with an unrelated company? Some internal transfers may be subject to further pre-employment checks such as warnings for poor performance or attendance etc. And with internal moves, HR would potentially know the details of your new line manager at the new department as part of the transfer process.

Do you have a confirmed start date for your new job? How long do you need to work your notice period?

8 weeks notice. Which I handed in some time ago. The job is not internal, it's at another company. I'm not sure why but somethings going on.

OP posts:
Original poster
chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:28

roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:23

If it’s a new role within a new company unrelated to your current employer, then your current HR won’t know who your new employer is. Theoretically they could find out through word of mouth eg if you tell another colleague or post something on social media (including LinkedIn).

Ultimately in your position I’d go on full damage control. Say minimal things to colleagues/management about the new job. Don’t involve yourself in a leaving do or exit interviews. Don’t answer questions about your new employer. If even consider going off sick for the duration of my notice period (if I couldn’t take a block of AL instead)

Thanks @roseretrox. But why should I not involve myself with exit interviews and a leaving do? I am going to miss my team..

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roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:31

Cross post.

it’s odd that your employer has asked multiple times for your new employer’s details. I would say something generic eg admin based role at a small firm, most people get bored of asking if they feel your new job is a downgrade

ultimately the colleague you have told could tell your manager who the new employer is, which is a shame. It’s hard to say whether your new employer would still want to hire you if your current manager tells them you’re essentially shit. But it would be an unusual situation for your current manager to contact the new employer after references have been completed so perhaps they will see right through this attempt to ruin your new job.

roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:36

chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:28

Thanks @roseretrox. But why should I not involve myself with exit interviews and a leaving do? I am going to miss my team..

Show quote history

Because your manager is trying to ruin your chances of actually starting this job and you need to protect your interests and take that threat seriously. It’s not a typical situation to be in when leaving.

People at your leaving do will feedback where your new job is to other staff. And exit interviews are not mandatory, it will be a place where you’ll be asked the reason why you’re leaving (ie asking you which company you’re going to start with). Ultimately your employer will care more about your manager vs you (who is leaving anyway), so I wouldn’t assume your colleagues are on your side.

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 04/01/2023 21:39

@roseretrox

I wanted to attend the exit interview to discuss about my unfair treatment in the team (in a diplomatic way).

OP posts:
roseretrox · 04/01/2023 21:46

Honestly? Raising your concerns about unfair treatment during an exit interview is overrated. It might feel cathartic but it is unlikely that anything will change after you say how unfairly you were treated. Nothing will happen to your manager, they won’t see the error of their ways.

It’s more likely that raising your concerns could rile up your manager and get them motivated to contact your new employer more. Your manager doesn’t sound very reasonable after all? I don’t think it’s worth the hassle. Research the grey rock communication method - you want to be as boring as possible to stop your manager being interested in you

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 21/01/2023 13:17

Thank you everyone for your comments.

Please let me know if I've done the right thing. I will be having a leaving for (to say goodbye to my colleagues) but declined the exit interview- however on Google it's saying that it's not a good idea...

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Original poster
chickensinthebed · 21/01/2023 13:19

Well when I officially handed in my notice, I found out that they already hired someone to take my place.

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flabbygoldfish · 21/01/2023 13:32

Let it go, they are moving on and so are you. An exit interview is more like a survey to find out why you are leaving - it sounds like everyone is aware of then situation. Leave the exit interview as declined.

Remember HR is there to protect the company, not you.

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 21/01/2023 13:38

converseandjeans · 04/01/2023 19:23

Is it a job with a different company? If so I don't think technically you're allowed to give someone a bad reference.

In teaching we have to inform the head if we plan to go for another job, so it's never a secret. It's then awkward if you don't get it. However in other professions I can't see why your manager would need to know until you give your notice in.

Did you put your current manager as your referee?

You can give a “bad” reference provided it is truthful.

if they ask if there are performance issues, or how the employee performs they are entitled to answer that honestly.

Most just give tombstone references but in some industries a fuller reference must be given.

(HR Director).

OnceAgainWithFeeling · 21/01/2023 13:45

YukoandHiro · 04/01/2023 20:25

If the job is within a different company then by law they are only allowed to confirm you worked there and on what dates. He's lying to you and he's also an absolute arse

You need a refund on the fees for wherever you got your legal degree from.

You literally couldn’t be more wrong.

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 21/01/2023 14:32

The exit interview would not be with HR- it would be with my line manager or another senior manager. Not sure if I did the right thing.

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Wauden · 21/01/2023 16:01

I read your post about the employer had already lined up your replacement so you are right to move on. I think that you are better at the job the boss and she resents that rather than a sensible attitude of being grateful your expertise.

Wauden · 21/01/2023 16:14

Be careful at the leaving do and don't spill the beans about future work place!

Personally if were you an exit interview with the jealous boss would be unpleasant and I wouldn't trust her and she could well lie and place the blame elsewhere.

lordloveadog · 21/01/2023 16:43

Discussion of references seems irrelevant - the new company hasn't asked OP's boss for a reference. Boss is (hopefully rather was) intending to cold call the new company to badmouth PP.

Original poster
chickensinthebed · 16/02/2023 17:45

Hello everyone just a quick update on what happened. Felt a bit foolish but learnt my lesson.

The reason why the manager wanted to know when I would be handing my notice in is because they quickly lined up someone new to take my place.

I decided to gave a leaving do but the manager sent the invitation late (2days before the leaving do was suppose to happen) so only 4 people, including the manager came. There's 90 of us in total.

Received my leaving work gift but the prices were left on and it came to £17.00 altogether and an unsigned card.

The manager backtracked and said I d

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Original poster
chickensinthebed · 16/02/2023 17:49

Hit send by accident...

I didn't have to do my exit interview in the end and didn't end up doing it.

The only good thing was that my colleagues (even my manager surprisingly, sent me lovely messages and my clients (not that I was expecting!) sent me lovely gifts and card. But all in all, I learnt my lesson. I would never give my all to a company again. There's no point. A job is a job and I'm just going to treat it like that. No more sharing ideas, no more creating projects- that's it. Just feeling a bit shit

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cilary · 17/02/2023 09:13

Don’t feel shit op. It sounds like your manager was threatened by you in some way, she sounds like a manager I had land they are usually insecure and always need someone to take that out on. Try to put it behind you and take away the positive. She will now move onto to someone else so don’t internalise it. Congratulations on your new job Flowers Flowers