How do I stop this man doing this?

[yesitssea]

I work on a team where we are two leaders, both doing slightly different things. He is delivery focussed and I am project focussed. But we have around 30 staff between 3 teams below us.

It's such a minor thing but he keeps messaging me with a question like 'what do you think the priorities are going forwards' and I explain, with my plan to action them.

He will then send either an email or a meeting invitation to the team with my idea or plan but not mention that it was my idea.

It's infuriating me.

Or we will be in a meeting and I'll say something off the cuff like 'I've been thinking about our risks, we need to do some mitigation' and I'll come out and he's set up a session doing that? As if he's thought of doing it.

It's happened about 6 times this last week.

Another example is I wanted to change some letters that are sent to customers so I said in a team meeting that I was going to initiate the front door process with the team that deals with that. Even before I'm out the meeting he's emailed that team, and then when I email later they say ' oh x got in touch with us so earlier so we've created the request'

Am I being petty?

Honestly I'd have a quiet word my boss as I o what you are finding challenging working wkth him. Mark their cars per we. Tell them you don't want any action taken but you are going to be stepping back from helping him so much in case they hear anything .

In meetings, when you have an idea, direct him to set up the meeting and tell him what to put on the agenda - that way everyone knows the idea and plan came from you, or pre write the meeting invitation and push the send button when you’re in the meeting (assuming you have your laptop/iPad open. When he asks what the priorities are suggest you’d like to hear what he thinks as you’re always the one coming up with the ideas and you don’t want him to feel left out. Just keep preempting him.

Yep that's it, my boss is 'loaned' our part time to another dept who are struggling. So one to ones and KIT's are few and far between.

It's funny someone's updated this thread today because I had another woman raise an issue with him quietly today. She said she felt she was being checked up on. As in he was literally in her calendar and asking her what she was doing in between meetings.

She's senior herself so this is deeply inappropriate. I've booked a meeting with our deputy director. Raging for her. She's a massively hard worker. She even said the same thing as I was thinking back last year 'I don't know if it's the environment he's come from but we just don't work like that here'

@yesitssea
What about using misdirection plans, ones that sound realistic, but designed so that when the ideas are poached, you then outline with your primary plans ?

Agreed. For me, working with someone like this would be ideal- it doesn’t matter whose idea it was and who sends the email, as long as it gets done effectively.

I realise your leadership structure performance management process may be different, but if you’re working with teams below both of you, this sounds like it could be great.

He clearly is able to send emails to the right people, because he sends them to the same people you do later on, so I can’t see the issue there. 😊

This is a really toxic move. Based on the OP, this is a huge stretch and, to be honest, seems like shitstirring to try and get ahead of him. He hasn’t upset the dynamic of the team- he’s just getting stuff done.

How is it going now with this coworker OP?

@DamnThatHitsHome · Yesterday 19:49: Based on the OP, this is a huge stretch ... He hasn’t upset the dynamic of the team

Try reading the whole thread. It's OP's own words!!
"yesitssea · 16/12/2022 23:24
Urgh. That's so annoying. He's totally upset the dynamic of the department"

I'm currently listening to him blather on in a meeting.

He's got some teams in the there and our DD. He's loving the audience.

I have noticed that he challenges women if they say anything in this meeting. Quelle surprise. He does not challenge the men in the same way.

I'm honestly so cross he's asked about he productivity of (what I class as) the best BA in the dept.

Fucking hell he's still going.

I've escalated again.

Today he's slipped in a senior leadership meeting that he's meeting with a key stakeholder - of mine, literally he should have no doings with this person. This is a strategic design person of which his discipline never interacts with.

After the meeting I sent him a mail saying 'please can you invite me to this meeting' and he came back with 'I've discussed this with (other person in dept) and we thought you would like to focus on (your priority)'

I've said 'no thanks, please invite me to this meeting' and I've had silence.

Patronising twat.

CC your boss and his boss into emails.

Speak to your contact directly (phone call, nothing in writing that can be traced back to you). Explain that twat is not an expert in this matter and that contact might like to reconsider the meeting (cancel it, invite others, talk to higher-ups first, etc). Contact may be sitting there, bewildered, wondering where you are.

You need to squeeze him out. Else he will become your boss.

This guy is so competitive in a bad way it's crazy.
You should speak to the stakeholder and the management, but honestly it's gonna be such hard work to be around that coworker. I'd consider looking for something else where such behavior by employees is not encouraged/ ignored

Guys I finally escalated this properly. It went well.

I had mentioned some discomfort to my manager a while back and that was dealt with.

Another incident happened last week. We had an issue with one of our services (that we are both responsible for). He dove on it immediately which is correct procedure but would not tell me what was going on. Bare in mind I had stakeholders emailing/Teams messaging/calling asking for updates (my responsibility) and he just kept saying 'I know what's going on. Leave it with me'.

I explained that I needed to set expectations with our business and he ignored. Our boss sent us a group chat and asked if we had it under control. He replied 'yes, we know what's going on' and I said 'what's happened?' Thinking he wouldn't try to be silly buggers with the boss present and he ignored me again. So I explained why I needed to know 'I need to send holding comms to people wondering why things are offline' and he said 'leave me, I've got this' 😂 as if he was some kind of hero.

So in 121 this week I said I was a little frustrated and that I felt that he was purposely keeping info to himself so that he can control things. In my absolute bafflement our boss confirmed that he'd been doing the same thing to them. Our boss even said 'yes it's frustrating not knowing what's going on when it's my name above the door'

So that's that. He's going to be spoken to about proper respect and conduct.

So that's that. He's going to be spoken to about proper respect and conduct.
Good news. And even better news that Higher Ups have noticed.
I'm not so sure about "that's that". Leopards don't change their spots. Keep an eye on him.