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Original poster

I think I'm going to fail my probation

30 replies

whatisforteamum · 14/12/2022 15:56

I went for a new job.Complete sideways move.Different hrs and same industry.
From the start the team very v quite.
One woman only answered with a um ha.
I thought she was just quiet.
Other woman bit more chatty so all good.
For a few weeks they have been chatty and giggling together.
100% it is about me.
When I ask anything I get one word answers.
I thought I had sussed it last week when the chatter one admitted she applied for the role I currently have.
She didn't get it.
Now I'm getting the cold shoulder even though we often have to work as a team.
It is a hideous feeling as I've never failed a probation in my life and I'm in my 50s.
What can I realistically do.
I'm asking my boss btw.

OP posts:
TallulahBetty · 14/12/2022 16:00

You might get (more) answers on the work board. This one is for retirement.

GiltEdges · 14/12/2022 16:03

Sounds like you’re catastrophising, OP. Who are these women? And what level are they at in the organisation? Presuming you don’t directly report to either of them, what makes you think that them not liking you (if that even is the case), would have any bearing on you passing your notice? Has your line manager indicated they’re unhappy with your work?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 14/12/2022 16:18

He made a joke last week about me filling in some forms just in case they need to sack me.
I get on fantastically with all the other employees.
My phone would only let me post in retirement no idea how to move posts.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 15/12/2022 17:55

More convinced by today's events.
All I need before Xmas.

OP posts:
Xanorra · 15/12/2022 19:21

OP what makes you think you might fail your probation? What has your boss said about your performance? Ultimately the decision is his, not your co-workers.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 15/12/2022 19:43

Boss said something minor had been mentioned and told me how to rectify it.
I don't need to work a day over Xmas and the others do.
All laughing and chatting together excluding me.
The oh dear comments I can hear.
New boss starts monday.I will be hurt if I fail probation but not entirely surprised now.
I will ask what I did wrong as I've never failed or been sacked in my life.

OP posts:
Shgytfgtf111 · 15/12/2022 19:54

Why would co workers chatting even necessarily be about you? I don't understand why you think you are going to fail probation because some people are chatting.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 15/12/2022 21:11

They don't talk to me,hush up when I get near them .

OP posts:
NewBootsAndRanty · 15/12/2022 21:15

I appreciate it sounds like your team mates are being crap to you, I still don't understand how that affects passing your probation?

So something minor fixable was brought up - presumably it's sorted now? Shouldn't be a problem.

user1477249785 · 15/12/2022 21:19

OP have you talked to your boss about this. If the problem is then then you need to call out the unprofessional behaviour not just let them get away with it.

watcherintherye · 15/12/2022 21:23

Is there any way you feel your fellow team members are setting you up to fail? Do they not pass on information relevant to your job, or mislead you, for example?
It’s miserable when you feel that you are disliked at work, but unless your colleagues are being deliberately unhelpful, so that you get things wrong (in which case I’d approach your line manager), I’m not sure how it will impact your probation.

UsingChangeofName · 15/12/2022 21:29

Putting aside whether the co-workers might or might not be talking about you, like so many others, I still can't see what that has to do with your performance at your job ?

You need to explain why you think you might fail your probation if you want people to try and help.

Gazelda · 15/12/2022 21:35

When is your probation review meeting?

Do you get on well with your boss?

Do you feel as though you're performing well at your job?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 16/12/2022 16:42

I am half way through probation.
Notice is one week on each side.
There were phone calls taken in a closed office...door is never shut and one colleague was talking to her partner loudly again via mobile and they asked if the situation was sorted.
I have no idea what I've done she just isn't speaking to me.
I could ask her but I'm sure she will deny anything.
I did manage to do some decent work and the boss praised us all and said we can all have a half day next week.
I may have got back on track.
Mon I guess will be the decider.

OP posts:
Gazelda · 16/12/2022 16:59

I'm pleased things seem calmer.

To be honest though, from what you've written it seems as though you are being extraordinarily over sensitive. The conversations are probably nothing to do with you or your performance.

Keep working well and I'm sure it'll become apparent that there was some other drama going on that didn't involve you and they didn't know you well enough to include you in the convo.

Rest up this weekend and go in with a positive attitude on Monday.

RoseJam · 16/12/2022 17:22

I'm really sorry you are going through this. It sounds awful.

Have you had an open and frank discussion with your manager about how you feel? In situations like this, you need your manager to have your back and give you the support and reassurance you need.

Also, would you really be a lot happier if you pass your probation? Would your team members change their attitude towards you? They sound very small-minded and petty and I am not sure if I could deal with that or whether they would change.

Have you tried looking for another role within the organisation or for another company?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 17/12/2022 07:48

Yrs I've been looking and been offered my old job back in the N yr.
They are v small minded.I noticed that from my first week.
I told one of them my dc we were visiting lived with a same sex partner and they were shocked.It is almost 2023!
I sense the frustration when I do anything differently.
Like I say the other 100s of people are funny polite and kind.
It's just these 2.
Not sure I do want to stay there.
The hours are good though and it could be brilliant with a fun helpful team.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 17/12/2022 07:51

Thank you for replying.
It is hard when you get anyone being openly odd with you.
I just focus on the lovely ones.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 19/12/2022 16:26

My new boss started today.
The snide comments stopped as they want to make a good impression.
I did knock over my water that made a mess while I was mopping and I know there were some comments.
Tbh the new person commented how quiet it is and how she can't work in silence so it is not just me.
I'm thinking my onboarding was v poor as the new person was asking many things I did as company s differ.
It could all go in my favour with a new boss.
Or not if she thinks in a f**ktard too.
Perhaps I am.

OP posts:
NewBootsAndRanty · 19/12/2022 16:31

Honestly. You're not going to get in trouble for knocking your water over.

Shgytfgtf111 · 19/12/2022 17:02

Do you always have self esteem issues or has itonly started since you started working there?

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 19/12/2022 18:34

Self esteem can be low tbh yet
I did have good self esteem and sense of purpose in my last job.
I was quite popular.
I go in each day positive and happy .

OP posts:
Gazelda · 19/12/2022 19:10

whatisforteamum · 19/12/2022 16:26

My new boss started today.
The snide comments stopped as they want to make a good impression.
I did knock over my water that made a mess while I was mopping and I know there were some comments.
Tbh the new person commented how quiet it is and how she can't work in silence so it is not just me.
I'm thinking my onboarding was v poor as the new person was asking many things I did as company s differ.
It could all go in my favour with a new boss.
Or not if she thinks in a f**ktard too.
Perhaps I am.

It sounds like today was a better day OP. I'm glad for,you.

But please don't use the term you did in your last paragraph. Not only is it doubtlessly not true of you, it is actually an extremely offensive word.

I don't want to knock you when you're down, and believe me that I wish you well and hope start to feel happier in your job. But I wanted to point that out not only to help you stop being so down on yourself but also to prevent you from using the word and inadvertently upsetting someone.

Original poster
whatisforteamum · 03/01/2023 17:16

Apologies for the rude word I was just so frustrated no ill will meant.
Today was a bit more positive in a way.
Boss told me he had an email regarding my work while I was stood next to my colleague that wanted my job and didn't get it.
She loved this and I don't believe it was an email more likely from the other colleague.
Anyway aside from a few nasty looks from these women talks of future ideas were mentioned which include me.
I will have to take it week for week as I've tried everything I know to be included.
Perhaps me getting the job the other woman wanted will always cause issues.
All I can do is my best.

OP posts:
Original poster
whatisforteamum · 03/01/2023 17:16

I mean an email complaint.*

OP posts: