Quit before probation ends?

[shouldawooda]

I am seriously pondering leaving my job before my probation period ends, but I can't decide what to do.

I've been a SAHM for a few years, and have 3 kids (age 10, 8 and 6). My husband travels a lot for work, so I am on my own with them most of the time.

I decided to get a job as I was getting fed up of the lack of mental stimulation being at home, and I was getting a bit nervous about not having much of a pension pot (although I do have some good ones from previous jobs),

I landed what I thought was a great FT job in an NGO, but since I've started I've found things very difficult.

There is a horrible culture of micromanagement, which comes from the top (which I have experienced in a previous job and I know it can kill your self esteem and motivation). This is the main issue that's making me question staying on.

I am very experienced in my field, but I am constantly being held back from doing anything proactive or showing any initiative. I am being managed by someone almost 20 years younger than me who has zero prior experience in this field and I feel like it's me managing them most of the time. I haven't even got started on my project yet, as they keep role-playing a hundred different scenarios that could play out and we keep having to produce endless documents to prove we have done this. It seems bonkers, as I have tonnes of excellent, relevant experience and I can do the work with my eyes closed. There were other people recruited to the project at the same time as me who are also struggling with this lack of trust and it's lead to a really miserable atmosphere as we are all fed up with being treated like children doing a school project.

Despite me asking repeatedly, there is no DSE assessment available and no provision for equipment to make using my laptop more comfortable. I've had to buy my own IT equipment and lug it to the office myself when I need it (I'm not allowed to leave it there as I WFH some of the time).

I am really struggling to manage the kids and I feel like a crap Mum. I haven't even been managing daily reading with my youngest; it feels like constant fire fighting and it's so crap for the kids (who are now in full time wrap-around care, which 2 of them hate).

I am so tempted to leave, particularly as we don't need the money (although it's coming in handy for some house renovations). However, I am so conscious of trying to keep myself mentally stimulated and keep up some pension payments.

If I hand my notice in on Monday I will only have to work for a week, and the thought of being free of all this feels great, but I also feel like I should stick it out and think of the pension and the example I am setting to the kids. I really don't know what to do. I suppose I could look for something PT, but that's not easy in my field.

(I don't want to hand my notice in after the probation period ends, as it's only a 2 year contract and I would be on a month's notice then. I feel like if I do decide to commit, I should stick around for the whole project and not let them down halfway through.)

Any thoughts most welcome.

I would resign. Life's too short, if you don't need the money to help support the household you are in a lucky position to do this.

A few months ago I did exactly that.
I’m getting on towards a few years before retirement, I haven’t worked full time since before I had kids ( quite some time ago!) I got offered a job that I really wanted, within walking distance of my home it was a managerial position, more money than I’ve ever earned.

The big bug bear was it was full time, no negotiation. I figured that I’m dropping a commute so it could be doable.

Only it wasn’t, I started to feel like I lived at work, spent very little time at home, nothing getting done in the house or garden and I was getting increasingly exhausted. I got to within a couple of months before the end of my probation and started to do some serious thinking.

Like you, if I left at end of probation I only had to give a week, if I waited, it was eight weeks, that thought was unbearable.

I went to my manager and asked about going down to 30hrs, no can do.

I didn’t need a full time wage, so for my own well-being and work life balance I gave my notice to leave on the last day of my probation.
I don’t regret it, I regret the company couldn’t have been more flexible, they also struggled to fill my post when I’d gone! Haha!

I think in your heart you already know you’re going to resign, do it, you’ll breathe a sigh of relief!

In a situation where you feel torn why not follow @FurcoatandnoknickerzFurcoatandnoknickerz 's lead and essentially give them the choice? Just be open about it not working for you. You don't need to defend your circumstances or account to anyone, just ask them if you could job share or the role be changed to the point you are confident it will work.

You can also say if questioned that there are ways to streamline the project which would result in a significant time and cost saving. If they react badly you'll have your answer - it wasn't going to work because it wasn't workable. Then you can let it go with clear conscience.

Oh BTW you should definitely ask for a probation extension. The right to do so cuts both ways.

This sounds really dodgy - a DSE assessment is a legal requirement surely. Is there definitely not one available or is your incompetent manager just telling you this is the case?

Life is too short to be this unhappy, but is there anyone else you could speak to about the manager who sounds like the issue?

It's obviously just not the right thing and you've given it a reasonable go. Resign and look for an alternative. Something else to give you the mental stimulation that you need will be along.

I did that recently: I left a job after 3 weeks and it was with a charity as well.

I hated it from the start, everything was disorganised including the induction process, my entire day was spent in endless/pointless meetings and I was supposed to report to 2 line managers who did not have a clue of what they were doing.

I found a new part-time job very quickly with another charity after that and I am loving this one.

I think you should leave because it sounds like it simply is not the right fit for you and it is unlikely to improve.

Having worked in the voluntary sector for decades I can tell you that a lot of NGOs/charities have truly appalling management and trustees so don't blame yourself for wanting out.

There is no point in you staying, because both you and the children are unhappy. Is there anything you could do working for yourself?

QUIT.

Today! And have a nice celebration.

And tell them exactly why. Sounds as though they don't have a clue.

I've had to buy my own IT equipment and lug it to the office myself when I need it (I'm not allowed to leave it there as I WFH some of the time).

This is just ridiculous. So is your IT stuff covered by their business insurance? It won't be covered by your home insurance.

There'll be other jobs so it's not this one versus pension issues. It sounds wrong for you in too many ways to stay when you don't need to. Even if you did set an ultimatum, it sounds like the culture is too ingrained for the problems to go away. So cut your losses and enjoy working your notice then investigate other options.

Walk away, life’s too short for this kind of workplace BS

Start looking for another job - its much easier to find a job while you have a job.

''@2greenroses ·
Start looking for another job - its much easier to find a job while you have a job.''

That's just a cliche.

It is not going to help her in any way at job interviews to have to explain that she wants to leave a job after a few weeks while still in probation.

But if she quits now she can just leave her current job out of her CV and not have to mention it.

I have left jobs without another to go to and always quickly found something else. It has never been an issue.

For your logic to work the OP would have to stay in the role for a year or so because the potential employer will question why someone is looking to leave a role with less than a year in the job.

I did that in my last job and my bitch of a line manager insisted that she put in my reference ‘left in probation period’ so it looked like I’d failed. It was because I’d moved 150 miles away and didn’t fancy the commute!! She said she ‘had’ to as it was ‘factually correct’ 😤 Luckily my current work didn’t even mention it and, if they had, I would have just told them. It would have been easy to prove too.

I don't agree that it looks bad to leave during the probation - you just explain that the job wasn't what you expected - of course it looks had if you leave repeatedly during probation!

And anyway, no the OP cant leave this job out of future applications, that would be fraud

Why would it be fraud? There are loads of random or irrelevant jobs I don’t have on my CV.

As for the DSE stuff, that’s annoyed me almost as much as the micromanaging. I have taken it above my line manager and gone to HR, but they just shrugged and said it’s not something they do in that organisation. My home office is comfortable, but the hot desks we have to use are not and I absolutely hate trying to work at them. I end up with back and neck ache, but I’m under increasing pressure to go into the office more and it’s counter-productive to my productivity.

@shouldawooda In your position I would resign and include in my email this link about employers H&S responsibilities www.hse.gov.uk/msd/dse/

You can reasonably state you left over Health and Safety concerns.

As a pp says probation is a two way process and it’s clear this is not the role for you.

Definitely get out. Life is way too short to waste on an inept organisation

It’s not fraud to leave a job off a CV! I don’t put my full employment history on mine

It isn't fraud to leave short or irrelevant jobs off your CV. It's called tailoring your CV to the job you're applying for.

You can put whatever you want on your CV. But not on a job application. If you are asked for a full timeline, that you have to account for every thing you have done, and explain gaps. Not to do so truthfully is fraud

Of course it’s not fraud don’t be ridiculous!!

I have a job I only stayed in 4 weeks and I never put it on my CV. I have mentioned it in passing to current employers and they’ve never batted an eyelid about it not being listed on my application

stop making things up!

I doubt any employer's going to worry about a week.

It’s not fraud to leave jobs off an application. Gaps can be explained as ‘personal reasons’. Employers do not have the right to know of very specific reasons someone may not have worked for 4 months back in 2012.

I temped for years, I can't even recall some of the jobs (and don't want to recall some of the others). A full work history going back to 1975 would be impossible. Don't most employers want only the last decade anyway, at least on a CV?