Quit before probation ends?

[shouldawooda]

I am seriously pondering leaving my job before my probation period ends, but I can't decide what to do.

I've been a SAHM for a few years, and have 3 kids (age 10, 8 and 6). My husband travels a lot for work, so I am on my own with them most of the time.

I decided to get a job as I was getting fed up of the lack of mental stimulation being at home, and I was getting a bit nervous about not having much of a pension pot (although I do have some good ones from previous jobs),

I landed what I thought was a great FT job in an NGO, but since I've started I've found things very difficult.

There is a horrible culture of micromanagement, which comes from the top (which I have experienced in a previous job and I know it can kill your self esteem and motivation). This is the main issue that's making me question staying on.

I am very experienced in my field, but I am constantly being held back from doing anything proactive or showing any initiative. I am being managed by someone almost 20 years younger than me who has zero prior experience in this field and I feel like it's me managing them most of the time. I haven't even got started on my project yet, as they keep role-playing a hundred different scenarios that could play out and we keep having to produce endless documents to prove we have done this. It seems bonkers, as I have tonnes of excellent, relevant experience and I can do the work with my eyes closed. There were other people recruited to the project at the same time as me who are also struggling with this lack of trust and it's lead to a really miserable atmosphere as we are all fed up with being treated like children doing a school project.

Despite me asking repeatedly, there is no DSE assessment available and no provision for equipment to make using my laptop more comfortable. I've had to buy my own IT equipment and lug it to the office myself when I need it (I'm not allowed to leave it there as I WFH some of the time).

I am really struggling to manage the kids and I feel like a crap Mum. I haven't even been managing daily reading with my youngest; it feels like constant fire fighting and it's so crap for the kids (who are now in full time wrap-around care, which 2 of them hate).

I am so tempted to leave, particularly as we don't need the money (although it's coming in handy for some house renovations). However, I am so conscious of trying to keep myself mentally stimulated and keep up some pension payments.

If I hand my notice in on Monday I will only have to work for a week, and the thought of being free of all this feels great, but I also feel like I should stick it out and think of the pension and the example I am setting to the kids. I really don't know what to do. I suppose I could look for something PT, but that's not easy in my field.

(I don't want to hand my notice in after the probation period ends, as it's only a 2 year contract and I would be on a month's notice then. I feel like if I do decide to commit, I should stick around for the whole project and not let them down halfway through.)

Any thoughts most welcome.

Maybe not the main point, but your pension needs to be taken care of from the general household budget if you have or are giving up your career potential to focus on family.

Oh god NGOs and charities. Sorry, I live near Oxford, so know a few people who've worked in the charity sector as a large charity is HQd here. Not. A. Good. Word. to be said about them as employers. Cowboys.

I wouldn't make any decisions based around how your kids feel. As harsh as it sounds. They've got used to mum being there all of the time. Of course they will complain about something different.

Focus solely on what the job is like. I went back full time in an absolute shit shambles of a job and was miserable. It bled into my home life and I questioned whether full time had been the right choice. Then I got another job working full time and loved it. Miraculously, the problems with my kids and my doubts about managing family life and full time work also vanished.

You sound quite entitled. How long were you out of work for? I don't think age should be of any relevance. That Manager is clearly doing something right to be in the position his in.

Perhaps working part time would be more suitable. Going in FTE after not working must be a huge jump.

That Manager is clearly doing something right to be in the position his in

Bless. In my extensive working experience, you're more likely to get an inadequate/useless/ineffective/toxic manager who doesn't know what s/he is doing than not. People get bunged into management and very few of them are actually ever trained for it.

Sorry ( Covid brain) I forgot to mention the job I left at the end of my probation was also a charity. I have never known such disorganised management. There are so many “non” jobs on ridiculous inflated salaries, most sat at home with their feet up.
I wouldn’t have made a blind bit of difference for me to cut a day, I would have saved them money, I discussed with my assistant how it would work , she was fine, she wanted full time.
On the subject of leaving jobs off a cv, not a problem, you have children and wanted to spend time with them, that will legitimately fill any gaps.
I have left no end of short term irrelevant jobs off mine.
Don’t stress, be creative!

@2greenroses' 'And anyway, no the OP cant leave this job out of future applications, that would be fraud''

That's absolute nonsense.

You don't have to list every job you ever had on your CV. I did some work in retail when I was a student for example which I never include in my CV as they are completely irrelevant to my current career.

Some people also do temping contracts with various organisations and you can't possibly list every employer you might have while temping a few weeks or months at the time.

I also do some freelancing alongside my part-time charity job in a completely different industry and I never include details in my CV because again it is totally unrelated. I just make sure my employer is aware that I do some freelancing in a different industry when I am not working for them.

Also people who have maybe a 30 or 40 year career history would end up with CVs that would 4 pages long if they listed every employer they had since they were 18...

Most Career adviser/job coach will regularly advise people to only feature their most relevant jobs in their CVs and tailor the CV to the job they are applying for.

What would be fraudulent on a CV is to add fake jobs qualifications, job titles and responsibilities.

You really should think first before making this type of statement...

@shouldawooda what did you decide to do? I'm thinking of doing the same (but I need another job to go to for financial reasons).

I’d also not make decisions on how your kids feel, kids hate change, as I suspect maybe you do, it does look to me like you resent being managed by someone younger , you deem yourself superior. And are looking for reasons to quit.

just quit, you don’t need to find a reason. If you don’t want to work there don’t;

It's hilarious that you think this. I took my CV to a careers adviser and she told me not to mention my previous job which I had been in for less than 3 months. It wasn't relevant and it wasn't a misrepresentation of my abilities. OP can legitimately leave it off her CV.

Equally, I've left jobs before without anything to go to. The best jobs I've had are the ones where I've temped and had a chance to really get to know how the business is run. OP, put the feelers out there and see what's around.

Whoa

I left a micromanaged post in probation, really couldn't understand why they had 1 person half my age employed to oversee how another person worked and spent most of their time doing their nails/playing games on their phone/looking at Instagram (I could see their reflection in the window, they didn't realise I could see what they were doing the other side of the room divider). I think she actually had other work to do, but didn't do much!

Maybe dinos wear ear mufflers.
Tone deaf
😂