Son's awful experience in first week of job

[ArmyofMunn]

Sorry this is long but I wanted to get it all down!

My 18DS started his first full time job last week. He has A Levels but is not degree educated and was taken on as one of four, the other three being in their mid-to late twenties and two of them with degrees. It was with a financial services company and paid £4K more per year plus commission than another job he’d also been offered, so he was very pleased.

He spent last week and the first two days of this week completing training for the job and he's been coming home each day saying how much he loves it - the training, the people, the office, the role etc. The training has been intense, involving two powerpoint presentations per day to prove he understood the training, but in which he said he kept coming second from top.

This week, following the training, he’s had to do three mock calls to a fake customer (his line manager) and he apparently made three ‘breaches’ in total, all involving not noticing that the customer had used some wrong letters during the security checks of emails and addresses etc. He thought he’d done well though as he was confident and affable and just thought next time he’d get the breaches right. He was shocked therefore to be taken into a room after his final call by two managers and told that because of the breaches he hasn’t passed his probation week and would have to leave and couldn’t appeal!

He’s completely shocked. The company didn’t tell him that his first week was probationary and he also remembers reading clearly that breaches by employees in their first month should not be regarded as breaches. He unfortunately read this on their own system so he can’t access it now, and his employer has his contract, so he can’t check that over either.

I just think this is an absolutely terrible way to treat an employee and my son is struggling to understand how the breaches he made were so serious as to warrant being asked to leave. He did ask to opt out of their employee life insurance and pension scheme, so I’m wondering if that just didn’t go down well with them!

Does anyone on here have experience of this type of thing? Are companies allowed to treat people like this these days?

Ha! Ha! I wonder if the poor bastard would be more traumatised about having his bad job experience discussed at length on Mumsnet! I'm wondering how I'd feel if my first 3-month miserable job got the same treatment - and you should point out if he ever comes across this, that the nature of these forums is that some will be all supportive while the others put the boot in. Just about every thread precipitates the same kind of responses...

I came here to say the same

You haven’t expressed a sense of entitlement at all OP. People are inventing it to serve their own desire to be unpleasant to you.

As well as about your son.

This resonated.

My DS all throughout his A Levels was always one of the most vocal and confident in class according to his tutors, but all three expressed surprise when this didn't translate into great grades (although he did ok).

He had to do a Dragon's Den style pitch, for an imaginary product of his choice, to the former company that also gave him a job - he rehearsed it in the car on the drive there and it was amazing - I was actually quite taken aback.

So yes, you could say his USP is probably the gift of the gab so, as PPs have pointed out, maybe not in an industry where compliance is so important. He's not particularly interested in financial services anyway - he just wanted to get valuable good sales experience in his first job.

@pictish Thank you There's always going to be some!

Has he considered some form of further education? Say a higher level
apprenticeship.

to be honest he sounds a little immature (or maybe he just sounds like a teenage boy!). Confidence is great - but it needs to be backed up and at 18 just starting out he has a lot to learn.

it sounds like he is on transmit and not receive.

At 18 I was in the first year of a four year university course. I learnt a lot and matured a lot during that period.

It sounds like he is on transmit and not receive. *
*
This is brilliant - I've never heard it before so maybe it's your own phrase, but I think it sort of sums up this whole thread!

I think you've nailed it @ArmyofMunn - he's cocky and thinks he can smarm his way into and out of things. That is a valuable skill, no lie, but he's just had a very valuable lesson in the fact that it comes a cropper quickly if not paired with substance.

As long as you don't stand between him and the consequences of his mistakes, hopefully he'll learn from them and do better next time.

Op you really need to get him to learn from this. Gift of the gab is only going to get him so far. You’ve said yourself that his mouth doesn’t translate to good grades. First job and a week in he’s made major mistakes. This is an opportunity to learn. Not blame the employers and dismiss the issue.

This resonated.
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My DS all throughout his A Levels was always one of the most vocal and confident in class according to his tutors, but all three expressed surprise when this didn't translate into great grades (although he did ok).
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He had to do a Dragon's Den style pitch, for an imaginary product of his choice, to the former company that also gave him a job - he rehearsed it in the car on the drive there and it was amazing - I was actually quite taken aback.
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So yes, you could say his USP is probably the gift of the gab so, as PPs have pointed out, maybe not in an industry where compliance is so important. He's not particularly interested in financial services anyway - he just wanted to get valuable good sales experience in his first job.

I’ve seen what you describe quite a lot in the work place - always men too.
It’s usually to cover up incompetence/insecurity so they come across as overconfident/cocky.

Could it be your DS is actually struggling more than he makes out?
So rather than saying he was finding some aspects of the A-levels difficult, he was overly vocal to mask his struggling?

Same with the job-maybe he wasn’t grasping the training as well as the others. Instead of him approaching the trainer and saying ‘I’m a bit unsure on xyz, could you just go over that bit again with me please’, he’s come across as overconfident/arrogant to hide the fact he was unsure?
Same when the errors were pointed out to him. Instead of being honest and saying ‘look, I’m finding this really hard, I know I’ve messed up badly and understand how serious it is’ he’s brushed it off by ‘oh I’ll get it right next time’ attitude.
I’d guess it’s a combination of his attitude and the errors that’s lost him the job rather than just the errors alone.

Some of the best staff and those that go far are the ones who can own their errors and aren’t afraid to ask for help/clarification when unsure.

@MilkToastHoney absolutely yes to this I think.

He’s not dyslexic/ ADHD or similar is he? Just the type of error made 3 times stood out as possibly not just him not being bothered but he’s actually struggling? Plus the overconfident ‘masking’ is common for ND people. If he is, there is usually additional help available.
Ignore if I’m totally wrong!!

@MilkToastHoney Yes my DH and DD15 are diagnosed ADHD and DS is awaiting a diagnosis, but because he started the process after he left school, it's taking a lot longer.

What you've described is very accurate and could well be the result of ADHD.

That’s good he’s waiting for a diagnosis. Employers have to make reasonable adjustments which it does sound like he needs.

He could do with finding strategies that help. I have ADHD and have to do things a bit differently. I used to work in a similar environment and I had to ask different security questions as I found things like DOB and postcodes difficult to process in the correct order. I’d find actual words (Road name, mothers maiden name, town of birth etc) much easier than letters/numbers.

Also, saying ‘I’ve got ADHD so find xyz difficult’ or ‘I’ve got ADHD so find it easier to be given written instruction rather than verbal’ or whatever really helps.
People are usually very understanding when you explain. It’s hard though and takes time and practice to understand what helps you and communicate your needs effectively.

That's really helpful advice @MilkToastHoney - thank you!!

OP have you ever considered being realistic?

You keep deflecting and defending your precious son who can do no wrong. Then these men who have been raised by mummy always telling them they're perfect and nothing they do can be wrong end up in the real world, and other women have to put up with this.

I'm tired of incompetent, stupid & overconfident men in the workplace. You're doing your son a massive disservice by enabling him non stop and coddling him like this. You both need to get a grip.

@Miajk I'm not sure you've read my posts properly - this doesn't really make sense.

Give him a big hug, and tell him what a lucky escape he has had. Imagine passing his probationary period, only to be treated like this once he was more established, had a 😥mortgage etc.

That doesn't really make sense, if he sucessfully passed his probation and was up the job why would he be sacked in the future for not doing the job properly, I don't get your point

I read your posts and comments. Defending your son at every turn, saying you don't think it's reasonable that he was let go, making excuses for him.

Maybe you should re-read your own post and comments.

I feel really sorry for your son but in many jobs making mistakes when checking security questions could be disastrous. It’s also possible that he wasn’t doing as well as he thought in other areas too (lots of people, especially teens, can overestimate their own abilities).

I’d take this as an opportunity to talk to him about how important attention to detail is at work. At his age he has plenty of time to dust himself off and start again.

There's no way they would fire someone for opting out of pension or life insurance - it's a cost to the business, so frankly better for them if people don't take it up.

He couldn't be auto-enrolled anyway as he's under 22.

This does remind me of thread when a mother came on to tell us her son was very senior in the home office but into heard about the queens death in the news.

on probing the you man was early to mid twenties. The poster then went on to boast that he must be senior become he was the youngest person ever to reach that position.

I think mums, especially boy mums, get carried away at how wonderful their special
little Soldier is and perhaps reality gets lists a little.

but OP has acknowledged that / and something will come That is better suited to this young man’s talents. Very few of us are super stars. And that’s okay!

No, she hasn't - she's said many times that various comments (criticisms) resonated with her!