Returning to work after ML - April 08 support

[StealthPolarBear]

Hope this is ok, i could do with some, and i think there are a few of us from a breastfeeding thread. this isn't meant to be just about feeding though.

Hi SPB - can I join? Going into work on Wednesday to sort things out a bit. Nursery booked. Sort of looking forward to it but I'm scared of how much I will miss B. Oh dear - some support sounds like a good idea!

sorry that all sounds like I'm starting back on Wednesday - I'm not. it's just a meeting, Going back in April obviously!

me too
scared of the practicalities - will he miss me? worse, will he not? will he settle / sleep? will i be able to do my job for worrying?
you going back FT?

well hopefully four days - about 30-31 hours.

I start a new job in March.....was offered it whilst on ML....it is full-time and have mixed feelings.....dont know if I will cope with work, kids, house etc....am trying to get organised now...may have to get a cleaner...

Hi Karen - yes get a cleaner! How many dc's do you have? I have three - two at school and the baby obviously The only thing I'm not worried about is the housework 'cos I never do any in any case

I am planning 4 days but was hoping to do 34 hours - think that might be ambitious, esp to fit in ith nursery times. Can't just dump him on the step either!

Also am applying for a new job now...shh...

I have dd1 (8) and dd2 (11 months)...it will be the first time that I have worked full-time in 8 years!! Have always worked part-time and have now had 1yr off on ML!!

Tbh I am looking forward to the job. I have also spent the last five years studying part-time at uni too so at least this way I feel as if I am using my degree....

I think it will be quite busy and pressurised which I dont mind.....still think it will be less knackering than being at home with dc's..

I am lucky though....my mum is a CM so she will be watching dd2 and doing the school run for dd1.....at least I know they will be well cared for (prob better than they would be at home!)

Have you got your hours sorted??

I bet you'll love it when you get into a routine Karen...bet we all will

I thiink you are right. I am aiming to be as organised as possible as I think this will help and am defo going to get a cleaner....oh and possibly a lady to do the ironing...

Tbh I dont mind paying for this kind of thing if it means that at the weekend I can have quality time with DP and DCs....really dont want to spend my whole weekend cleaning and ironing!!

I'm going back earlier (First week of March) but am hopping on board this thread to try and cheer myself up about it. To top things off, because of recent redundancy, my DH is going to do full time childcare whilst I work full time. I do not know ANYONE in a remotely similar situation and I am most and mixed up about it all. Have DD 2.5 and DS 5months.

SycamoreTree...at least you will know that your dcs are being well looked after....why do you think you feel so mixed up about it?

hi sycamoretree
how does your dh feel about it? why are you mixed up?
maybe i should get thread title changed to going back to work soon - don't know why i narrowed it down like i did!!

I'm mixed up for completely irrational reasons. That I'd much rather it was me, but I have always out-earned my DH considerably, but when we both work, DD was looked after in a nanny-share, which now we're out of I actually am hugely relieved about - but that's another thread.

It's because I worry about the pressure the gender swap will put on our marriage. That I'm a control freak and I always know best when coming to kids (not, but you know what I'm saying) and because I worry about my DH at dinner parties.. "so what do you do". I'm protective of him, and his pride etc, but he says he's happy to do it and I believe him. Yes, I am lucky it's him and not someone else, but can't help wonder what longer term affects will be on OUR relationship - but def better for kids, I know.

LOL at myself - we NEVER go to dinner parties! But I'm using that as a short hand. And sorry - my post was written in haste and doesn't make an awful lot of sense.

Ok - DD is now happily watching Pic Me and DS in bed, so will post more sensibly. DH is happy about doing the care, but I am envious I suppose. I'm glad I earn enough to support us all (just) but the full weight of responsibility is daunting. I worry about how it will effect the balance of our relationship - if he will feel, despite our mutual best efforts, somehow less of a man - I KNOW I KNOW what many will say to this, but it is a concern. When I imagine other guys asking him what he does, I just can't imagine my DH being able to say he's a SAHD loud and proud, and I feel like I'll be constantly trying to protect him from what other people think of him, because of our decision. Also, because he did not elect to stay at home, it's something he agreed to do (happily) because of the redundancy (the second this year ). Yes, he's in silly, precarious, artsy type of career and kind of agrees enough is enough

Yes, I see what you mean, lol at dinner parties! Have you asked him how he's going to feel in that sort of situation?
I know what you mean about the only person who cal look after LO - I feel like that too

I haven't asked him, because in a way, if he thinks I'm thinking about it, and he is worried about it, letting him know that I imagine it could be an issue will probably only make him feel worse. But really, good friends all already know and are very supportive, it's just those people who are on the peripheries or our social life (LOL AGAIN at social life ) and I guess, new people. Especially as I work in same industry as he did, and there are lots of bring along your partner work functions, and I can't bear the idea of him facing old associates and feeling any over what he's now doing. .

yes, I know
there's no easy answer, is there He might surprise you by saying it's the toughest, most rewarding job he's ever done!
Does he plan to maybe start his own business when your DD is older?

Thanks guys - and Momma, you always say the nicest things to people - I have really noticed. Yes Stealth, he does have plans to start his own business, possibly when DD starts nursery in September, IF he can't hack doing the childcare much beyond that. It's also possible that he may try and do some freelance work in current arena of work if my mum can come over and lend a hand one day a week - though all that touch and go as my dad is terminally ill right now - but that's another thread (or not, as just far to painful to put on a bloomin' talk board for all and sundry) .

I'd be so happy if this could be the case as then at least he will have something he can talk about other than the LO's. Anyway - Stealth - seem to have hijacked your thread with my own back to work woes, so sorry about that

Sycamoretree - I understand exactly what you are saying! But I think it is important to remember that you are both making decisions which are right for your family. You can go to work with the peace of mind that your lo is being looked after by her daddy....

Lol at dinner parties! I cant remember the last time when we had one! And for what its worth, whilst working part-time over the years I was always asked "what do you do?" I always answered that I did the "most stressful, hard-working but yet rewarding job in the world" and that was bringing up and looking after my child....children are the most precious creatures in the world, they are not little for very long and providing them with a loving and secure start to life cannot be wrong!! Your dh should hold his head high....you have to let go a little and trust him...you may have different ideas about things should be done but in the end you can take comfort from the fact that your lo will be speding all day with 'daddy'....and you will get all the nice time at night and at weekends......