I can no longer travel for work.

[Justworkplease]

I took on a new role in the autumn of 2019. Role requires me to complete training modules at our head office (group training). It’s listed in the contract that I may have to attend other business locations based on the needs of the business but doesn’t mention how often. HO is in the middle of nowhere - 2.5 hour drive from me or 4.5-5 hours on public transport. Trainings are 2 full days 9-6pm so require an overnight stay.

At the time of taking on this role I was on the waiting list for driving lessons and started these at the start of 2020. These were then stopped due to covid as I found out I was pregnant and at the time pregnancy required shielding. Lessons were then stopped all together and by the time they were allowed to restart I was 36 weeks pregnant and it wasn’t an option for me. I completed some of the trainings prior to starting lessons. I travelled part way by public transport then met someone else attending and went in the car with them the rest of the way. This person no longer works for the company so this isn’t an option now.

Since returning from mat leave and moving to PT and due to the increased living costs since having my baby I can no longer afford to do driving lessons. I also have no access to childcare out with my working hours so trying to fit in lessons isnt possible.

Work training sessions have just resumed (there have been none at all for the last year since I came back from mat leave and they weren’t mentioned on my return) and I have been asked to attend 3 over the last 7 weeks. In order for me to attend, public transport options now mean me having to leave the day before, stay in a hotel overnight in a different city then take a bus to the location first thing on the morning of training, stay overnight that night, have another full days training the next day and then do the 5 hour return journey starting at 6pm. It means me needing childcare from around 6pm on day 1 right through until about 11pm on day 3. This is just not an option for me. I don’t have family support and I cannot pay for this much overnight childcare.

I’m required to attend 10-12 of these sessions within 6-7months. Travel cost, accommodation and food are reimbursed by the company which is fine. But the childcare issue is one that I just can’t fix - especially with the extra care needed due to the distance on public transport. I can’t afford it. These sessions are also arranged at 1 weeks notice so trying to get something in place in that time isn’t the easiest. At the moment my DC attends nursery on the 2 set days that I work. The trainings don’t always fall on my set days so i wounds even have daytime care through nursery.

Work are beginning to get annoyed at me saying I can’t attend but I’m genuinely struggling to see an alternative. Can anyone suggest a way round this. They won’t let me attend over zoom as they want it to be in-person group training. I’m going to have to leave the role aren’t I?

Its perfect for me in every other way - set days, 15 min walk to work, lovely colleagues. It’s just this issue that I can’t get round 😓

You'll have to find another job OP. It's clear you can't fulfil the core requirements of the role. Your situation has changed, the company's has not.

Have you told your line manager you won't ever be able to attend these sessions? You need to be honest and see what they say.

You are unable to do the job for which you've been employed. For various reasons, none of which are your employer's, so you need to ask for a meeting to see if there is another opening for you with them, or resign.

*fault

Is the baby's father around?

Are thé training sessions a permenant part of the job at this frequency ? Or are there more just now because you missed a lot with covid?

I think that if you can get to one of them that would be a really good start with your employer.

Do you have a friend who you can explain the issue to and ask them to help? Ideally you need to find someone who can drive you there, look after your child both days while you work and drive you home.

Accom and travel is covered and if you do it on a not working day you can offer the extra wages you earn to them. You won’t have gained anything but you won’t have lost anything either.

the other way to do it is to do the public transport option with your child, use a babysitter at the training location, and then do the public transport home with them.

once you’re there have a chat to the trainer yourself and explain how hard it is, see if you can get an agreement for at least one course on zoom.

Does your child have a second parent who has them sometimes ? Or are you on your own?

Well yes if you can’t fulfil the roll then you will need to leave.

what was your plan for this when you took the job and then planned a baby?

You will need to either find a solution or change jobs. It's part of your role and you knew when you took the job. What about your dc's other parent?

You clearly cannot do the job, so you'll have to leave that role. Explain that due to childcare and not being able to drive, you won't be able to travel. Ask if there's another role you could transfer to, instead.__

If you had a taxi or other hired car for the last part of the leg or any other parts, would that speed things up? Would it facilitate a more conveniently located hotel?

basically, don’t be afraid to ask for transportation help that would make this easier.

Did the job advertisement specify own car/driver as an essential? If so, was the fact that you were learning considered suitable and thus you were selected?

I actually didn’t know how many training sessions there were when I took on the role, just that they were done within the first 6ish months of employment and involved “a few trips to HO”. So even with the pregnancy these should have been completed before that. The company postponed the training due to other things going on within the company. They then started up again about 6 months into my role, I got through 3 of the 10 or 12 that there is and then covid shut everything down. They should all have been completed during my pregnancy had covid not put a stop to everything soon after I got pregnant. This is just an initial training thing, there is no more after this to complete so it’s the 10/12 (I can’t remember how many it is) then it’s finished. I’ve done 3 but due to the length of time since they were done and it now being a new trainer, they want me to repeat those.

DH is very much still around and involved - but works abroad for long periods of time (hence my move to a local job before trying for a child). I was able to return PT due to nursery availability and moving to set days at work which was great. Had any of the trainings fallen during his time home then they wouldn’t be an issue - he would be here to look after DC and would be able to drive me there and back but I have no say over dates and have unfortunately been unable to attend any of the planned dates. Work were fully aware of my home situation and childcare availability when I returned from Mat, we spoke about it a lot.

I have spoken to my manager, the trainer and HR at length about it and provided dates that I know DH will be home to try and give alternatives but if they don’t work for the trainer or the other staff attending the courses then obviously they can’t change things just for me which is completely understandable. All of their responses have been along the lines of “let’s see how we get on with the next dates” or “we’ll need to try and figure something out because this isn’t going to work if you can’t attend in person”. I’m fully aware that it’s my issue and it’s me that can’t fulfil what’s needed. I just wondered if anyone could see a possibility that I was missing.

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Definitely didn’t mention that at all. It was mentioned at interview that I would need to make a few trips to HO for initial training and that it was a hassle on public transport but that I may be able to car share to make it a bit easier. Wasn’t an issue for me at all at the time as I didn’t have childcare responsibilities.

Take the baby on driving lessons if you must? It sounds like this would be the biggest help as you could get back quicker without relying on public transport. Either that or find childcare that is local to the head office so even if you’re staying over you don’t need it for overnight also.

Tbh this could be indirect discrimination. Could you give ACAS. a call? Otherwise could your DH adapt his role for a few months so you can get through them?

@CiderJolly I didn’t know that taking a toddler on driving lessons would be an option. I don’t know how comfortable I’d be with that tbh! Driving would definitely be a big help. Financially it’s difficult at the moment though.
Im not sure that taking my toddler with me to the accommodation would be an option. They use a small independent hotel and we are provided with single rooms. I’d probably have to subsidise the room costs to have a bigger one if DC was to fit in too.
Meals are also in the way of catered team dinners at the hotel so I’d have to opt out of that and go out and eat with DC.

@Paq I didn’t really see it as being discriminatory if I’m honest. I know I can’t fulfil the requirements as they stand due to my own change in circumstances. I was hoping that maybe someone could see a possibility that I couldn’t as I was getting worked up over it.
It’s not possible for DH to adapt his role unfortunately. He works away at sea for 3 weeks then is home on leave for 3 weeks. He has no say in scheduling and doesn’t have “holidays” as such. His industry has its own regulations. I have given work his schedule as far in advance as I have it (3 months) and kept them up to date with this in the hope that they may be able to schedule it during his time home but so far they have all been during his time away.

@Justworkplease I don’t see why you I would need a bigger room- take a travel cot or ask the hotel for one. Take a packed lunch for the toddler’s tea/share some of your meal. I don’t see why it would have to cost more.

At least then it would just be daytime childcare- way cheaper.

@CiderJolly I have stayed at the hotel a few times - I genuinely don’t think a travel cot would fit in the room. I also don’t think it would be appropriate to take my toddler to a team work dinner 🤔 I can’t see that going down well at all!

I agree with the poster that said this could be indirect discrimination especially if they are asking you to attend training on days you don’t work and you didn’t need to have your own transport to fulfil the role. They are asking you to do many things outside the remit of your role and you have valid reasons for not being able to do them.
I also don’t understand why you’d have to complete introductory training if you have been in the role for a year. Surely much of it is irrelevant now?

I would join a union and ask them to negotiate with HR for you.

You are genuinely in a pickle, so it might be possible with their help to get HR to agree that you attend a couple a year in person and the rest by zoom.

Sort out the driving as a priority. It sounds like you can find the funds if you have to, it’s a basic life skill and your earning power will be crippled you don’t sort this out.

Finally, does your husband have to work abroad? It’s going to make the next 20 years very difficult for you.

Your comments about team work dinner definitely don’t add up either. They don’t own you if you aren’t available after the training they can’t keep you there unless they are paying you for your time. I know many things are ‘expected’ but that doesn’t mean they are right.

With all due respect it doesn't sound like your perfect job because every solution suggested has been shot down by you. If it is "only" 12 sessions you could conceivably take your child. You definitely don't need a bigger room, beg, borrow, buy a more space spacing sleeping travel cot. Colleagues will understand that you have childcare commitments. That's just one example. If this place is distant is so remote how do other people get there? Is everyone attending without personal commitments, family / pets etc.
People are genuinely interested in helping you, not everything has to be a fight / dispute; do you genuinely believe your employer to be discriminatory or is it a convenient reason. I believe the majority would do their utmost (to complete a temporary aspect) for their perfect job. Good luck OP

@Justalittlebitfurther Yes I never really thought of it like that tbh. Much of it will be but they like everyone to have completed the training modules and to have been trained the same way.

@Luredbyapomegranate I am definitely looking into driving as a priority. I have a couple of weeks of annual leave that I have saved for the start of the year that overlap DHs time home so I’m looking for availability for a fast track course. It’s a huge expense for us but I know it will benefit us in the long run.
He doesn’t always work abroad, he can be UK based just depending on what contact he’s working on but either way he’s offshore and away from home for weeks so it really doesn’t matter where he is tbh. While it’s difficult when he’s away for a few weeks at a time, across the year he actually has 6 months off which means we get a lot of quality family time together. He’s highly qualified in his industry but wouldn’t have anywhere near the same earning power in a “normal” job back at home. Even him doing a normal job and me going back FT, we’d be nowhere near our current income so this set up works well for our family

@Justalittlebitfurther No, you’re definitely right. Just because it’s “expected” it doesn’t mean I need to do it. I’ll have a look at potential childcare options near HO and explore the option of taking DC with me.

@Moonshine5 I really wasn’t intending to shoot down every suggestion, I’m just trying to answer people’s questions etc. I have already said that I don’t think it’s discrimination - it’s me that can’t fulfil the requirements! Everything else about the role is perfect - colleagues are lovely, location of my work place is perfect, it gives our family a little extra income (it’s not a high paid role!) and gives me some adult company while DH is away for long periods, and I enjoy what I do.

Not all other staff have to travel the same distance. Only staff at my level have to undergo this training, we have multiple locations, one person in my position in each location and I’m based at the furthest location from HO. I’m not aware of other attendees commitments I have never met anyone else attending.