I can no longer travel for work.

[Justworkplease]

I took on a new role in the autumn of 2019. Role requires me to complete training modules at our head office (group training). It’s listed in the contract that I may have to attend other business locations based on the needs of the business but doesn’t mention how often. HO is in the middle of nowhere - 2.5 hour drive from me or 4.5-5 hours on public transport. Trainings are 2 full days 9-6pm so require an overnight stay.

At the time of taking on this role I was on the waiting list for driving lessons and started these at the start of 2020. These were then stopped due to covid as I found out I was pregnant and at the time pregnancy required shielding. Lessons were then stopped all together and by the time they were allowed to restart I was 36 weeks pregnant and it wasn’t an option for me. I completed some of the trainings prior to starting lessons. I travelled part way by public transport then met someone else attending and went in the car with them the rest of the way. This person no longer works for the company so this isn’t an option now.

Since returning from mat leave and moving to PT and due to the increased living costs since having my baby I can no longer afford to do driving lessons. I also have no access to childcare out with my working hours so trying to fit in lessons isnt possible.

Work training sessions have just resumed (there have been none at all for the last year since I came back from mat leave and they weren’t mentioned on my return) and I have been asked to attend 3 over the last 7 weeks. In order for me to attend, public transport options now mean me having to leave the day before, stay in a hotel overnight in a different city then take a bus to the location first thing on the morning of training, stay overnight that night, have another full days training the next day and then do the 5 hour return journey starting at 6pm. It means me needing childcare from around 6pm on day 1 right through until about 11pm on day 3. This is just not an option for me. I don’t have family support and I cannot pay for this much overnight childcare.

I’m required to attend 10-12 of these sessions within 6-7months. Travel cost, accommodation and food are reimbursed by the company which is fine. But the childcare issue is one that I just can’t fix - especially with the extra care needed due to the distance on public transport. I can’t afford it. These sessions are also arranged at 1 weeks notice so trying to get something in place in that time isn’t the easiest. At the moment my DC attends nursery on the 2 set days that I work. The trainings don’t always fall on my set days so i wounds even have daytime care through nursery.

Work are beginning to get annoyed at me saying I can’t attend but I’m genuinely struggling to see an alternative. Can anyone suggest a way round this. They won’t let me attend over zoom as they want it to be in-person group training. I’m going to have to leave the role aren’t I?

Its perfect for me in every other way - set days, 15 min walk to work, lovely colleagues. It’s just this issue that I can’t get round 😓

You could think about going away on one of those week residential courses you get in places like Norfolk. everyone I know who’s done that has passed.

And your husband can look after the baby. Pay back time.

@Luredbyapomegranate I’ve sent out emails tonight enquiring about availability on a few courses nearer to me. A week in Norfolk sounds lovely but I’m north of the border so it’s a fair distance for me to travel 😁🤣
DH definitely does more than his fair share for the family and is incredibly hands on when he’s here - no payback needed 😊

Have I missed something - why isn’t your DH taking annual leave on these days to look after the aby so you can attend?
Surely if it’s a case of losing your job, he can sort something out with his own work?

OP said he works off shore so can't take annual leave. He does 3 weeks on 3 weeks off

@BHRK I did update about DHs work. He works at sea for weeks at a time. Doesn’t have annual leave like in other jobs. Leave time etc is very specific in his industry. He gets set “leave” periods but these are based on his work rotation. I have provided my work with all of his leave dates for the next 3 months (Thats as far in advance as we have his schedule) in the hope that some may be able to be scheduled for during these times but so far they have all been outwith.

Is there no way to do some of the training via zoom or do you need to be there?

How much is it costing them for your travel and accomm? Cos I’m wondering if they would save by having the trainer move around for one days training, unless you have to do it with particular colleagues? If HO is really so inaccessible this is going to keep coming up for them whether people have kids or not

He’s had six months off over the last year, you took a job that you knew required these residentials and at no point did you use any of this time to book a fast track driving course?

I don’t think anyone is going to be able to magic you up a solution tbh but there’s no way Id give up a job so ideal. Put the crash driving course on a credit card and take out a loan for a small runaround car. Pay it back slowly if you need to but you’re going to have to sacrifice something!

So if you or a close family member were seriously ill, he couldn't take time off? What about parental leave, I thought that legally they can't deny him that? (but I'm not an expert on this, hopefully someone with better knowledge can answer this).

@BornBlonde @midlifecrash My usual work location is the furthest from HO so it isn’t as inaccessible for other colleagues who would be attending. They like the training to be done face to face as a group.

@Intelligenthair Oh I agree that driving certainly should have been more of a priority but our finances and family circumstances changed a lot during covid and with us having a child. My original driving instructor that I had been using actually retired before driving instructors were allowed to return to work after covid and the waiting list for others in the area was massive (as I think it was everywhere due to testing backlog etc). The training never even crossed my mind when I returned from Mat leave as PT if I’m honest. I definitely should have flagged the issue then and discussed scenarios with them - it just didn’t cross my mind at the time. I’ve been back for a year and no training has been done at all, it’s only now that they’ve decided to start it back up again that it’s become an issue. There’s literally been no mention of it at all. I certainly don’t want to give up the job, he hence me asking if anyone could see an obvious solution that I was missing!

@HundredMilesAnHour I’m actually not sure about parental leave in his job. His industry has completely different rules to other employment with regards to different types of leave/working hours etc. If a family member was seriously ill etc then yes, he could remain at home if he was already here but it would mean that the colleague he works back to back with would have to stay on duty (or another colleague flown out if he was unable to stay) and DH would then take back over ASAP and would owe back the time. So if his colleague ended up working 4 weeks instead of his allocated 3 then DH would have to go back for 4 weeks as they must have equal time off to what is worked.
If he was at work and had to come home due to family illness etc then he would have to be brought back to shore and brought home and a colleague would have to be transferred out to replace him for whatever time was needed. Again, he would then owe this time back. There’s a huge expense to the company in changing crew on and off, hence why it’s done on a set rotation. Coming home mid trip etc really is for emergency circumstances. I hope that makes sense 😅

@HundredMilesAnHour He doesn’t have an “annual leave” allowance like a standard job. He is allowed 4 weeks per year where work cannot call him and ask him to go back to work early etc. These must be selected out of his set leave time.

So can't you use some of this for your training? Or to take an intensive driving course. You at least need to show willing to your employer and right now you don't seem to be.

@HundredMilesAnHour Yes, I have given my employer a list of all his leave dates and explained that I am unable to travel outwith those times currently. They have scheduled all trainings so far with about 1 weeks notice for each and each has fallen during his time away.
The trainings only started back about 8 weeks ago. I’ve been asked to attend 3 during this time. 2 fell during one 3 week trip away for DH and the other fell the the week after he left for his second trip.
In order to do an intensive driving course I need to take a weeks annual leave - I don’t have any available until January. I have enquired about intensive driving course availability for then. I should have done it before now and could have accommodated it earlier in the year time-wise but financially it just wasn’t our top priority at the time.
I really am trying to show willing. I hadn’t thought of just taking DC with me and using daily childcare there as has been suggested by some other posters - that’s something that I will look into and discuss that option with my work. I’m sure there will be staff at head office that may be able to point me in the direction of local childcare.

@Justworkplease is getting a blimmin hard time here! I have no solutions but wishing you all the luck

Parental leave (unpaid) of up to 4 weeks per child is a statutory (ie legal) right - so your husband could request this for the course dates.

Has to be taken in blocks of a full week unless child is disabled.

His employer does have the right to postpone the dates he has requested to another date if the dates originally requested could not be accommodated for business reasons.

In your circumstance given your dh must earn a very good salary I'd look at hiring overnight / day nannies that can step in when you need to go away.

You need to join a union and get advice. It seems unreason how short the notice is for an overnight stay.

@AntiqueCestChic Thank you! I’m just doing some more research into that at the moment. I would assume that is work would just postpone his requested dates to his leave dates and give it as extra “uninterrupted time” like his holidays but he’s going to check in his contract and see what it lays out.
Im not sure if the way he works would have any bearing on the entitlement- he works 7 days per week for 6 months of the year and 0 days for the other 6 months. So averaged out across the year his working week is 3.5 days per week. To take 7 days off of work time would essentially use 2 weeks of parental leave?
The legalities with offshore workers are completely different for most things - hours worked/Mat&pat leave/holidays etc so I would imagine there may be slight difference in parental leave but I’ll definitely look into it.

@washingbasketqueen His salary is good but not that good unfortunately. Our household income is very average. It’s just that he gets more time off than the average person. It’s definitely something I’ll look into but like most families at the moment, we’ve really had to cut back and don’t have much left over at the end of the month as it is.

@rolypoly836 😅 thank you!!