Will I sound desperate, incompetent or both?

[ExSquirrelClub]

Long story short…

I work in a technical role at a large company in a very male-dominated industry. I returned from maternity leave part-time (agreed with HR/Manager and salary adjusted). I’ve been back for three and a half months, and I absolutely hate it. Manager is being a complete dick about my new working hours, capacity, accrued annual leave, he contacts me on my non-working days, he doesn’t respond to most of my emails and has stopped directly addressing me in Teams calls. My confidence is shot to pieces and I need to leave.

I’ve been searching for another part time job in the same role and there doesn’t seem to be anything out there, I’ve even spoken to a recruitment consultant and they said they don’t know of any companies hiring on a part-time basis.

I saw an advert today for an administrative position with another firm. It’s part-time, the office is five minutes from my house and they only want office presence one day a week (I currently have a 2 hour commute). They’re asking for A-Levels and proficiency in Microsoft Office, I’ve got degrees and 7+ years of experience using Excel and specialist software. I really want to apply but I’m worried about how it will appear if I do i.e. I’m desperate to leave my job, I can’t cope with what I do now, I can’t make things work, I’m incompetent. Should I apply or just stick with what I’ve got? Does anyone have any application tips/advice?

You could try dumbing down your CV, so take out the degree etc. I deal with recruitment at work and always dismiss over qualified people because the expectation is that they won't stay, especially if the job role doesn't have any obvious progression path.

Apply for the job, but not using any of the words in italics!

Find something you can say about enthusiasm and positivity for the new business/organisation. Big up your skills as you did in the OP. Don't say anything at all about reasons for leaving. Except you could say things like looking for a change in direction towards (whatever new organisation does) and that the hours are perfect for you.

I sympathise cos I have a slightly similar situation - needing to be positive in job applications without letting negative thoughts intrude.

We've got to try it though. I witnessed a friend in an interview being honest about past work traumas and looking for this new chance and I knew she was blowing the interview. They just want to hear you express enthusiasm and competence.

You work at a large company- go to HR about your manager. Why the fuck should you compromise your hard earned career because some sexist parent hating wanker is in the way? Stay where you are but deal with the dickhead. Guaranteed the best move in the long run.

Thanks @Tootlingalong I did do an administrative role between my degrees, should I just focus on that and not mention my current job?

@MsMcGonagall I'm sorry to hear that, it's really shit isn't it. I would definitely try not say those things in an interview.

@CrapBucket Sorry, your post made me laugh. I completely see what you're saying, and I do have days where I think "fuck him and his sexist parent hating ways" but it feels more complicated than this and I'm not sure about the consequences of going to HR.

Don't lie about your experience but be honest and say that you are looking to change career direction and explain why your skills would be ideal for the role. Good luck

If you're at the point of jacking your entire career in to leave, then what do you have to lose by speaking to HR?

What consequences are you worried about? They would be very stupid if there were retaliation. If you really want to leave you should apply for other jobs but still try to fix this one. Complain to HR and point out the discrimination you have faced since maternity leave, they will have to look into it

@tickticksnooze You make a good point, I hadn't thought of it like that.

@Magenta82 In terms of consequences, what if I say something to HR and they tell him and then they do nothing? I don't feel like I have much in the way of "evidence" as it is mainly his attitude towards me that is the problem. Then he will know I've said something and things could get worse.

I've asked HR and him what I can do with my accrued annual leave. I currently have 11 days to take before the end of the holiday year and there are only 18 working days between now and then (for me) due to the amount of training courses I have to attend. I was told by HR I can only carry over 5 days and must take the rest ASAP. I've tried to book them but he is ignoring my requests and piling the work on. I went back to HR to ask what I should do they said I need to agree something with him 🙄. I don't think they will be interested in anything I have to say.

You have spoken to HR about leave but have you told them there is a problem? Referring you back to your manager would be reasonable if everything were normal and is what they would tell you if they didn't know he was being a dick.

If all else fails sue them.

I think we could all give you ideas to tweak your CV so you'd get the admin job, removing all your higher level skills and achievements but honestly I think you'd be so bored and frustrated just doing basic excel and so on (by excel skills they literally will mean can open a spreadsheet and type numbers into columns, they'll probably by astounded by a pivot table or macro). And I think you'll find it far harder going back into technical work from admin than vice versa. What a shame and waste of your knowledge and education if you otherwise enjoy your current job and it's just a pig of a manager driving you out.

Is it absolutely vital to you to work part-time now, I do get it will be difficult if you only want to do 3 days but if your skills are in demand I would have thought there will be places that would accommodate 4 days or 3 long days maybe, with some working from home as well, even if they don't specifically say so on the advert - this would be the case in most public sector technical/IT type roles for sure, yes it might be a pay cut but at least related work to your field and probably better money and prospects than the admin work?

I had exactly the same issue. It literally ruined my career...

Thing is, people talk and reputations can be easily damaged. Especially now that people use LinkedIn in a passive aggressive Facebook style way.

Just say you "want to step away from the XX industry and focus on developing a long term career in XX which utilises your core skills in XX, XX and XX"

Good luck OP x

Will you want to go back to your current role / level at some point? I'd be wary of that. Staying P/T for six years in my role wrecked / delayed my career for a long time, I'd. I had stepped away I don't know if I would have got back in.

Is this a low-level admin job OP? There's appears to be bit of an assumption on this thread that all "admin" jobs are the same.

Honestly OP I think you need to give them the opportunity to address this. When/if they don't, it might be that you can claim constructive dismissal (depending on the detail etc).

Set up a meeting between you, HR and your manager with the aim to resolve this. That way your manager being an arse is flagged up to them and hopefully the leave situation will be resolved (admittedly only short term, but that will help).

Admin can be a horrible job. I did it for years and found I felt as if I had to prove my right to a job a lot of the time as a lot of professionals just did their own admin and I wasn't always needed.

If your boss wasn't an asshole, would you say you like your career? I would not jack it in for an admin job. Admin jobs aren't that stable. They're often one of the first people to be made redundant and it isn't always easy to walk into another job. As a pp says, their are admin jobs and admin jobs though, so it depends a bit what the level is.

Not unreasonable but agree you'll have to tailor your cv to look like you are legit committed to making success of the new role, not looking for a stop gap. Given the ongoing labour shortage, I think you have good chance to get this job. Simple "I'm fed up with commuting & without commuting costs the salary is equivalent" would sway many. Also talk up how nice it is to learn more about a new industry, you need new challenges.

In short, this is discrimination.
Are you in a union, or do you have a workplace assistance programme? Ask them for advice, particularly on wording to use to make a complaint.
Discrimination in the workplace should not be tolerated. At best I'd be making a complaint against the manager with a view to him changing his ways, at worst I'd be going for constructive dismissal if you leave because of him.
Start keeping a record of everything!

This is literally what i am going through now, i am working my notice and debating whether to involve HR. I was made to feel inadequate as i wasn't coping with my full time workload on part time hours and the constant criticism. I think apply stating that you are looking for a fresh opportunity and utilise your existing skills in a new industry.

Thanks everyone.

@Magenta82 I emailed him this afternoon asking again about my annual leave request. I'm off until the middle of next week so hopefully he will have responded by then, if not I'll just have to go back to HR.

@maxelly Yes I agree it would probably be difficult to re-enter my career path in five years time or whatever, even just having 12 months away I feel like I've lost it a bit. I'm in the private sector at the moment working 27 hours in 3 days, perhaps I could look at a move to public...

Write a cover letter explaining why you want to change from a technical role to admin. You need to convince them this isn't a stop gap and you won't get frustrated and bored and leave when you find something better paid.

Good luck!

@CollieWobble22 I'm sorry to hear that. Do you mean the wanker manager ruined your career or the fact you said something to HR? My LM has been at this company since he left university (20+ years) so is part of the furniture and I think I'd make myself so unpopular by causing an issue 😒

What Crapbucket said.

But it depends what's most important to you. I did similar to what you want and now, 2 pay rises later, I'm on more money than I was and for way less stress. But I still have the "lower" title so I'm not sure what damage I did to my career long term.

I didn't feel I had a choice, if I'd kept in my original job, I would have ended up off on stress related sick leave or worse. I'm just lucky it worked out ( but I do think if people are good, it will work out for them. Not saying I'm good but I do care about doing a good job). Finding the right company is important...your current one sounds crap.