Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

I got a better job (am a medic) than I thought I was capable of and I am absolutely petrified

39 replies

mylittlepudding · 18/01/2008 18:57

I have been out of medicine over a year. Yesterday I got offered a LAT (for those who know what that means, for those who don't, a proper medical training job) in my specialty for February to August. It's at the seniority I left at, which I never expected to manage.

I have been a SAHM for over a year. I love my dd to bits. She is the light of my life. But I really missed my job.

I am terrified. That I won't know what to do. What to prescribe. How to operate. That I will miss my dd far more than I ever missed medicine.

My mother and my PILs think I shouldn't go back. That I won't cope.

I am petrified that I won't, that I will let myself, my dd, my bosses, my patients down. I don't know if I can do this. Anyone 'been there done that' who can offer some advice.

OP posts:
Dottydot · 18/01/2008 19:01

Congratulations!!! You'll be fine. The fact that you're worried about making mistakes means you'll ask for help, not do anything bonkers (can you be my doctor please?! )

Are you going to apply for any CT/ST jobs this year or wait until next year ?

Dottydot · 18/01/2008 19:02

Oh I'm not a doctor by the way - just work in a Deanery..!

OverRated · 18/01/2008 19:04

Not been there but congratulations

ProfessorGrammaticus · 18/01/2008 19:12

Of course you can cope - you did before! When I went back to work (lawyer) it was like coming back to life, much as I LOVED maternity leave and much as I adore DS1. I have been WOHM for 9 yrs now - you feel the crunch of mental gears as you travel to and from work. But you do both well, as long as you are relentlessly organised. HTH

donit · 18/01/2008 19:12

slightly different circumstances but anyway,

in many ways it felt I had never left, even down to the shouting of my boss

other things were initially difficult, even had to keep looking up the dosage of dalteparin. Also find it difficult to keep up to date with things as I don't get time to do anyrhing at home

as far as missing dc, well I'm a bit heatless, so no, whenever I'm at work I don't miss them too much but make sure your dd goes somewhere where you know she is going to be happy

the longer you would stay away the more difficult it becomes

Original poster
mylittlepudding · 18/01/2008 19:15

Thank you. I couldn't even remember the drugs to manage a miscarriage at interview - it was really awful.

There are no ST job in the summer in my area. Don't really know what to do there!

It is a really rural hospital, so is quiet but less support than the chaos busy teaching hospital I am used to.

OP posts:
LittleMissNorty · 18/01/2008 19:22

Congratulations on the new job.

I am a scientist and have just gone back to work after 6 months off on ML and was terrified for all the reasons you gave.

But the anticipation is far worse than doing it - it was GREAT.....it is so nice to be back in the swing of things.....I was very surprised how quickly things came back to me once I was in front of the microscope. I don't think I could have answered any questions whilst still on leave tho so am not too surprised you couldn't remember some things. In some ways, I felt a bit guilty for being so pleased to be back and not missing DD as much as I thought I would/should.

I really enjoy the adult conversation, hot cups of tea, being so busy that before I know it, its time to go home.......and the BIG smile and hug I get from DD when I get home .

I'm very happy with my nursery, and that makes a big difference.

Good luck

SallyInYorkshire · 18/01/2008 19:23

congrats!!! it is so great you are going back to medicine - I think medicine needs women doctors - being a mum now, I reckon you will automatically be able to strike up a rapport with so many female patients and understand better where they are coming from.

also - at least it is a job in your speciality which you already know lots about. remember when you were HO/SHO and every time you changed specialities it was like you had to relearn everything all over again (or was that only me?? ).

lots of the SpRs here have been in a similar situation to you and tbh they did feel a bit unconfident for the first 3 months back! one tip though is to ask to sit in on clinic/theatre etc with a friendly consultant for a couple of sessions before you officially go back - even just the smell of hospitals brings it all back. it's like remembering a language you thought you'd forgotten - you just need to immerse yourself in it and when you need it, it will rise to the surface of your mind somehow.

Good luck!

cosima · 18/01/2008 19:26

what you have to remember is that you just applied for the job( and presuming you didn't lie to get it) and someone else made the decision to hire you so if they have made a mistake then it's their fault and they are the ones who are no good at their job! I once got a job teaching A level french when I was not really up to it, then I had a bloody french girl in my class so I can sympathise a bit.

Vacua · 18/01/2008 19:28

congratulations

think it is very wrong of your family to say you won't cope, of course you will cope. why on earth were you offered the job then?

Lucycat · 18/01/2008 19:30

Many congrats! well done you and remember the people who appointed you clearly have confidence in you even if your mother doesn't

I've just returned to teaching after seven years away and standing in front of 32 kids for the first time was terrifying too.

Go for it girl!

chipmonkey · 18/01/2008 20:23

I'm an optometrist and have usually felt like this after going back after ML. But 2 hours in and it's the same as if I was never away! I love ProfessorGrammaticus' "crunch of mental gears"! That's exactly how it is! FWIW MIL always thought I should be a SAHM and took the opportunity to undermine me every chance she got and cut out newspaper articles about professional women who became SAHMs to give to me! But it was her issue not mine and I'm still a WOHM 11 years later.

hatwoman · 18/01/2008 20:27

agree with the others - you will very quickly be back in the swing of things. being a doc is indeed a huge responsibility but you clearly take it seriously. you'll be fine

DarrellRivers · 18/01/2008 20:28

I'm a medic too.
2 DCs now.
Going back after ML the first time was difficult, but it was fine and I'm so glad i did it.
Keep your options open.
Go back, take it easy,and give it 6months before you judge it.

Bluestocking · 18/01/2008 20:32

How brilliant, well done! Never mind the PILS, but I'm appalled that your own mother is trying to undermine you - she should be bursting with pride. I went back to work when my DS was one (nothing as demanding as medicine) and my top tip is making sure you are absolutely confident about your baby's day care. Once I was sure DS was settled in his nursery (took a couple of weeks) I never worried about him when I was at work, so I could give my entire attention to what I'm paid to do. You, and your DD, will do fine.

gonaenodaethat · 18/01/2008 20:32

You'll be fine. I went back to General Practice after 23mths and after a couple of weeks felt like I'd never been away.

As long as you are aware that you may have to sometimes look things up/ask for help (and it sounds like you are) you'll be fine.

Good luck.

gonaenodaethat · 18/01/2008 20:34

And well done!

Tipex · 18/01/2008 20:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gonaenodaethat · 18/01/2008 20:35

And what Bluestocking said.

expatinscotland · 18/01/2008 20:38

How about thinking about all the positive things you'll be bringing back to the job now you're a mother to help with your feelings of fear?

Think about the person you were before you left, and the person you are now, and make a list of how you've changed for the better, and how that translates into making you even better at your job/getting more enjoyment out of your job.

Well done!

hannahsaunt · 18/01/2008 20:43

Congratulations! Esp getting something with the current hoohaa around MMC etc. Know various medics who have gone back after varying lengths of mat leave and you will be fine and will bring so much more to your job now that you;ve had your dd (not least, you know there is more to life than medicine ). My mil was dreadful after I went back the first time but three babies on she's much improved esp since she can see the positive effects on the boys of their nursery.

thegrowlygus · 18/01/2008 20:43

Am with the others here - I am a GP and went back after 7 months after DS1. Am now trying to get back into it after 10months off after DS2 - would be nice if I could find a job.

Anyway - I remember going back after my first and it really does all just come flooding back. I have done a couple of locum sessions this last week and again, it all just sort of appears out of nowhere. All that stuff just stored up there. And I would echo the advice of knowing when to ask for help. I still do and intend to for a long while yet!

Good luck.

Eliza2 · 18/01/2008 20:44

It's a typical woman thing. We all think that we can't 'do' it when we go back to work. SOmething about being with small children saps our confidence.

I bet you'll be just fine. And enjoy it.

anorak · 18/01/2008 21:31

I always think I won't be able to do skilled things if I go back to them after a long time. But once you start it all comes flooding back and you begin to feel natural.

It's a confidence thing I think - and if your family have always doubted your ability like this it's no wonder you haven't a well-developed sense of confidence.

tissy · 18/01/2008 21:38

er, yes.

It's like riding a bike, it will all come back to you, I promise.

A year isn't that long, you'll be fine. Assist at a few ops, do some with supervision, and it'll feel like you were never away.

The only other thing I would say, is that if you really don't feel confident doing something without supervision, ask for help. It will really dent your confidence if you struggle and then have to call in help.

Swipe left for the next trending thread