Secondary School & Working FT

[Lisaaas1]

Hi

I'm looking for some advice and opinions pls. My DD will be in Year 8 in September and I currently take her/pick up each day, it's a 35 min walk and her class friends are from all different local areas so no nearby friends to walk with. I work PT currently but applying for FT work as DH work unsettled at the moment and we'd like to move. DD does not want to get a bus so is insistent if I am not able to pick her up (I would still be able to drop off when FT) she will walk home. This is worrying the fact she will walk home but i will potentially finish at 430. I also get one day off a week so allows for a bit of movement on top of our holiday allowance in school holidays. Question is, what should I do? return to work FT better job and better money but know for 2 days of the week I can't pick up (she does after school activities at the school 3 days). Do I make myself happy by being in a better job with more money now she is nearly 13 or enjoy being PT albeit 30 hours or just give it all up and be a SAHM...just kidding!!

Why won’t she get the bus?

I’m not sure your family income can be held to ransom by a 13 year old refusing to get the bus.

Most kids walk home. That's not a long walk.

Unless I’ve read it wrong, she is happy to walk but you don’t want her to?

I don’t understand. You’re concerned about a 35 minute walk twice a week? Why?

Why can't she walk home?

She's old enough to be on her own in her own home

What's wrong with a 35 minute walk? Or buy her a bike and she can cycle in half the time.

In the small town I live, there's one secondary school, some kids live 5 mins away, but the furthest is probably 50-60 min walk - a lot cycle. Dd is about 30 min walk, and sometimes cycles, some times scoots, sometimes walks. It's not that far.

Your DD lives a 35 minute walk from her school

what’s the question? Sorry I don’t get why you are posting

Or can she stay at school longer or go to a local library/cafe and wait. Not sure why a 35 min walk is such an issue though. Why won't she take the bus?

35 min walk, with a bus option also available, is absolutely fine for secondary age pupils

Do you plan to ferry her about until she leaves school?
Majority of kids walk/bus to High School, sounds like she wants to be independent but you're treating her like a toddler.

She could walk or get the bus… it’s the grown up thing to do! However… I did get the bus and walked (bus 40 mins then 15 min walk) from 12 onwards and I absolutely f*ing hated it. My mum worked full time in central London so big commute and to be totally honest I hated her for leaving me to do it everyday for 6 years on my own. I’m 34 now & still despise it! I bloody hate the bus and won’t get one now ha. She thinks it’s funny. If it’s only a couple of times a week that’s ok or if she can do it with friends. X

I think my concerns have got jumbled into one long post. Sorry. No, my DD will walk but is not overly keen on the idea. My main reason for posting was I currently work 3.5 days, 30 hours but potentially looking to do FT. My childcare is scarce so school holidays may be an issue but there's not a lot of difference between what I do now and FT or should our family make sacrifices and I work very reduced hours so I can still be there for DD in school holidays? a lot of friends work in schools so get TT contracts and have told me to avoid working FT. Feel so guilty.

She is old enough that you can work ft and school holidays. Use annual leave, activity clubs, friends/relatives or even stay at home herself,

Why would you base your career decisions around wanting to avoid a healthy teen get a bit of exercise in her weekly routine? There's nothing wrong with a y8 walking for 35min to get home. What kind of example are you setting if you sacrifice your own aspirations and the family's financial status just to avoid her having to use her legs?

I am afraid I am not treating her like a toddler as she does not want to use public transport and is very reluctant to walk so it makes it difficult for me. I do however agree that she needs to start being more independent with getting from school. We leave her in home for the odd hour and generally spends a lot of time outdoors with friends who live a couple of villages away. I guess I am over protective to an extent and your responses have confirmed that

Start the job and leave her to her own devices. She will find a way home.
She's old enough to be home alone.

She’ll grow up quick on Year 8. Don’t worry about this. She can get the bus 2 days a week, stay in the library to work or she can walk home. It’ll be OK. Your ‘friends’ aren’t being realistic - term time working isn’t the norm.

Give her the options... bus or walk. Its not difficult.
Dd started getting the public bus (not a school bus) in Yr 7, on her own, an hour journey each way.
Ds walks about 20 mins each way.
I work FT mainly from home but now going back to the office more so both DC are home before me on office days.

You do realise she needs some independence and to grow up a little bit. Maybe she likes the easy life but you need to parent and tell her that you need to be FT therefore she can choose walk or bus.

My 8 year old walks home from school. It’s a 25 minute walk door to door. You need to think of your career and giving DD more independence.

Of course she doesn't want to walk when you are happy to give her a lift. She has the option to walk or get the bus and also potentially to stay in school, go to a public space like a library or go to a friend's house.
Take the FT job and tell her to sort herself out. Childcare for Year 8 students is not available because they are expected to be independent by that age. It sounds like you have "babied her a lot - time to change that.

I kind of get you OP - I have twins in year 7 and at the moment DH or I are meeting them half way etc… I just like being around for them after school and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. As they get older this may change.
Everyone on here will tell you you’re over protective and a 13 year old should be fine ok her own. Frankly my 12 yo DD is tiny and small for her age and where we live is really quiet, I’d be nervous about her walking all that way alone.
I have a senior level job in the city but tend to WFH 2-3 days a week so this works out for now. I also work officially 4 days across 5 and this is specifically so I can be around for after school stuff a few times a week. Could this be an option for you?
At my level I often work in the evenings to get things done but overall it’s worth it.

If she's year 8 now she'll be going into year 9 fairly soon?

She's more than old enough to sort herself out, my dd has been walking home from school and managing on her own til I get in from work (5.30ish) since year 7!

Oh and you won't need childcare in the holidays, she will either meet up with friends or hang around the house!

Thank you. This is the same for me in that I like being around for her but also need to think about returning FT and WFH isn't an option as I am in nursing albeit outpatients so I would be home by 5pm. My DD is tiny for her age as well and really doesn't look her age at all so the walk makes me anxious but I see lots of other girls walking who also don't look her age but go to different schools.