Colleague annoying the fuck out of me

[TheOrigRights]

She's quite new, she does administration, which includes sorting out emails.
She was hired to tidy things up and she'd done that.

But god she's annoying.
She will send 'gentle reminders' or 'looks like it's one of those days' when she's fixed something.

It annoys me because what she fixed was something I don't even want to be doing e.g. cc'ing a certain email address for Every Single Email I send. That's by the by I suppose, because it's what the group have agreed. I think it was a case of it not doing any harm.

Mostly though if I've done something wrong just bloody tell me. I take responsibility for my mistakes, I don't need to be patronised. She will also make 'gentle suggestions' of how we can manage mailboxes, including screenshots.

For background, it's an academic environment. We are quite a small team of people who are used to working without supervision - stuff just gets done.
I think she's come in, seen this bunch of chaotic academics and wants to tidy us up.

Part of me wants to discuss it with my boss, and another part is telling me just to leave it. She's come in, having to work with a bunch of people who are stuck in our ways, so it's not easy for her.

She just makes me feel like an idiot.

To be fair, the more you write, it sounds like she's been given a rather sweeping mandate to micro-manage all of you. What is the story with having to cc every email you all send? That all sounds pretty drastic.

She's been put in a very difficult situation and it sounds like she's trying to be as polite as possible about it.

I think you're being rather precious. She has been employed to do tasks. She is doing the tasks. If the email is not required by you, ignore it. Stop taking it personally.

I have a similar admin member in my team, they often chase me just before I get to something. But they also save me fuck loads of time and have helped me when I needed them.

Give the poor admin person a break!

Ha - exactly this!

Yes I think that is often an issue in academia / other organisations with 'professionals' dismissing colleagues as 'just' an admin. What is sometimes forgotten is that good administration is the backbone of an efficient operation. It does sound, however, that this may be more of a personality clash and you have not taken to her pointing out your errors (but to be fair most people wouldn't like this or warm to the person doing it!) Get ahead of her so there's nothing to point out to you? Appreciate that some of her changes will improve your working practices. There's a reason she was needed and you recognise things could be done better.

I think it's hurting your pride that you feel she thinks you are not on top of a job you've been doing a very long time and that you normally feel you are good at.

You say she was hired to tidy things up.

Then she has done that. But that’s only your opinion. If she was hired to do a short term tidy up on limited things and finished, she wouldn’t still be there.

But at the end you said ‘she sees chaotic and wants to tidy’. But that’s her job. To tidy things up.

or have I misunderstood.

i do also think the fact that you aren’t face to face makes it more difficult.

But I do think a lot of this is coming from defensiveness and feeling like some you don’t know is picking up on mistakes. Which is how a lot of us would feel. But I think that’s what needs addressing.

Having relatively come to be working wi the academics… all I can say is I feel a bit sorry for her! All a bit of a shambling mess. I say this with the absolute most respect for the work they do in their areas of expertise but I find it hard to believe sometimes how these people function in life outside of work!

Well she didn't decide on her own that you needed organising did she? Someone senior to you must have identified that "support" was needed. I have been put in teams to do similar but i was put in as the team manager and that was hard enough and I had the power to MAKE people do things!
OK tough talk.
I think two things...first of all the person who you answer to wants this done. Its not your admin persons decision, its your boss's decision...so maybe (do you get 1 to1 s with your boss? ) you might want to understand what the issues were that she has been put in to fix?...or maybe you do know but are feeling defensive? basically where were you failing? Where does the team need help? And don't say that you don't because your boss evidently doesn't agree.... once you have agreed on this then you can agree where to target your admins activity and where she can save her time.

Also don't get upset about screenshots as when you are working at distance it's often the only quick way to show people what you mean without a verbose explanation.

Sounds like she's doing her job, which is what she is paid for. Do you expect her to twiddle her thumbs or the boss.not to be happy? What would you prefer to a gentle reminder, a shouty one?

Reading with intrigue

What would you prefer to a gentle reminder, a shouty one?

Just a reminder would be fine.

So it’s the word “gentle” that’s bugging you?

in general, it seems to me that she is doing a good job organising everything but for some reason, she annoys you. We all get irrationally irritated with people. Well, I know i do. But in this case, it’s you. She’s done nothing wrong. Just get on with stuff. She’s not even in the same space as you.

and yes of course sometimes we get reminders just before we’re about to do something.

It does sound like her tone is irritating you.

I don’t think anyone likes being micromanaged in their job especially when they are not used to it.

Things like the “I guess it’s going to be one of those days” is really unnecessary and rude.

OP she's employed by the same people as you presumably. On a lower grade than you presumably. Let her do her job and quit your messing around in chaos 🙄
And respect her. She sounds very helpful.
Are you afraid she might discover your incapable management of work and organisation?
Is that because she's not an "academic?"
Whatever that means. Perhaps you could qualify the difference in your work experiences.

You've all given me some things to think about, which is good.

Thank you.

@TheOrigRights am sure it will settle down once new processes are in place.

I don't want to get to my desk at 9am to find an email saying "you can chase this author now". This tone is odd. To me is sounds like a tell rather than remind. If this was on your to do list, do they need to know this?

Could you arrange a video call so you can interact and get to know one another. To have a rules of engagement type conversation, nothing heavy. I think it's ok to state you would rather not receive a gentle reminder, reminder is fine. Maybe agree a process such as raising reminders as appointments set to free time rather than busy without notifications.

I hate "kindest regards", sounds sniveling.

@TheOrigRights just want to echo what another person has posted, you’ve potentially got an incredible resource in the shape of an admin colleague who is keen. I suggest grabbing this opportunity with both hands.

You could perhaps arrange a meeting with her and discuss the following- get a sense of what her goals are (i.e. what will she be judged on in this role) and what your goals are; discuss how you might help each other to meet those goals -high priority vs low priority; discuss preferred communication types (DM, phone, email or even just a diary reminder) and preferred regularity; talk through the sort of lead in times and reminder schedules you want; discuss the scope of what she can do/wants to do for you. Agree to have open symmetrical feedback between you if you can to keep the work and communication flowing. If you’re lucky there may be other tasks you can pass as you build a relationship.

Also, if she’s quite junior might also be nice to get a sense of what her ultimate ambition is careerwise. I’ve always worked particularly hard for people I’ve felt are looking out for my career, you might not be able to help directly, or soon, but if you’re an senior academic type you have a lot of power compared to her so a good word from you could potentially mean a lot to her down the road.
Good luck!

OP this resource is your friend. She's there to do stuff to keep your desk workable for you as you can't do it yourself.

I worked for many years in administration for a University I’m old and have since worked in many different work environments and tbh academics were the rudest most disorganised people I’ve ever worked with. They were so arrogant about their work, some of them were world leaders in their field to be fair, that they couldn’t be told anything even by more senior academics never mind accept help from admin staff. I was excellent at my work and could have taken a lot of pressure off their shoulders if they would only have let me. Their loss, I got paid either way.

Far too important to do the practical time saving stuff

I have been meaning to come back to this and report back.
Mostly I have taken the advice on board - she was hired to do a job, she's doing it and I need to work with her, not push against it. There are instances where things have grated and I've just taken a step back and reminded myself she's doing her job.

So, with this in mind how do I deal with this situation?

I made a mistake within the subject line of an email. Something along the lines of "Your new book, [insert title] has been reviewed"
Rather than "Your new book, How to Chill Out, has been reviewed"
I fixed it straight away and it had no negative implications.

Why would she then bring it to my attention? I have corrected my mistake.
I also don't need a screen shot of the incorrect subject line.
The subject in her 'you did this wrong' email to me is 'Ooops' and she's put a false cheery 'long day?' in the body.

It just makes me feel like she's sitting there rubbing her hands with glee cos she's caught me out.

I really listened to those of you who think that people in academia are up our own arses with self importance. Does my reaction to her email make me that sort of person?

My first instinct would be to reply “Are you short of something to do, or what?”
However, my professional reply would be “Thank you for highlighting the error, however, as I corrected it immediately I do not see why your email was necessary. It is not necessary to screenshot subject line errors that have been corrected”

Roll your eyes and drag it into the folder of annoying things that might be useful as evidence at a later date.

@TheOrigRights it’s annoying. I am curious to know if you have enacted any of the relationship building advice recommended up thread? As in, did you arrange a one to one, did you discuss scope of role and how she can help support you? Did you get a sense of what her goals are? If so, how did it go?