Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Original poster

DH might loose job - but its not "his" job?

31 replies

NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 07:53

longish post but dont want to drip

DH works for a large family owned business ( with other partners too)
He worked in an aspect of the office for years but was signed off for stress to due to it.
So he applied , and moved to another department of the business.
He was very happy there and got on well with his team and manager
( He would occasionally help his original department when it was very busy)

He was asked to RTW during lockdown , and was told it would be his original position: but temporary
DH agreed (gave him no choice, really) and had been doing it for over a year.
He absolutely hates the job, and isnt performing well ( as well as making him ill,again)

He has had meeting re: returning to his ACTUAL job, and was "allowed" to do one day a week
In the meantime - he has trained lots of staff , on the orginal job - with the hope that if enough stay: he can return to his own team and role

He is frequently stuck between two teams and two managers: both of whom will send him emails asking xyz isnt done , because hes doing something for the opposite.

He then started to be performace managed in the old job- and he was unhappy, as he was only supposed to be temporary? And then his NEWer position was unhappy with his work - but i cant see how he's expected to give 100% to 2 completely different roles?

So he got " caught" reading an article online a few days ago by a Boss, and now theres talk of "big meetings " "gross misconduct " with no date in mind- just to make him even more ill!!
( unless it was porn- i think this is a massive overreaction from his employers)

His "HR" seems to be one of the Family so its not legal ( i think!) or helpful to him.

I feel like theyre trying to constructively dismiss him? But i don't understand why they think they are being reasonable?

what can i do to help ? ( theres no union) Hes makind more mistakes, and spiralling

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 26/05/2022 07:55

I'd strongly encourage him to start looking for work elsewhere. This doesn't sound like a place he should stay long term.

Gliblet · 26/05/2022 07:58

Acas - he needs to talk to Acas (independent free expert advice for employees, kind of like a union for the jobs that don't have unions).

Original poster
NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:00

@girlmom21 were trying to get a mortgage- so he really needs to stay in his long term role :(

OP posts:
Original poster
NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:01

@Gliblet thank you. Ill get him to look at that

OP posts:
Bumtum126 · 26/05/2022 08:01

He is being managed out , as above I'd look for something else.

Hoppinggreen · 26/05/2022 08:01

If he has been there longer than 2 years they have to follow correct procedure if they want to get rid of him and the performance management may be part of that. It is “legal” for anyone to do the HR, as long as they follow legal procedures etc and remember they are there to protect the company not just help your DH.
You say he has been off with stress and is now not performing well at work, it would be nice if they were tackling why that was and trying to help him but it sounds like they may have just decided to get rid of him instead. Constructive Dismissal is where he resigns because he had no choice, it’s not them firing him. They can do that as long as they do it legally.
CAB or ACAS may be able to advise

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2022 08:02

I agree that he needs to look for work elsewhere. He shouldn't quit until he finds something else but needs to put a lot of energy into getting a new job.

Discovereads · 26/05/2022 08:03

I agree he needs to find new work. His health is more important than finding a mortgage. Besides it does sound like they are managing him out, and it’s much harder to find a job after you been formally disciplined and sacked than it is when employed but seeing only the writing on the wall. His job is sunk. So forget the mortgage for now.

Petronus · 26/05/2022 08:04

girlmom21 · 26/05/2022 07:55

I'd strongly encourage him to start looking for work elsewhere. This doesn't sound like a place he should stay long term.

I agree with this. You were trying to get a mortgage, now he is looking for another job and then you are getting a mortgage. This is untenable, there’s only one eventual outcome and that is him leaving (which doesn’t mean Acas can’t be involved as well).

ihatethefuckingmuffin · 26/05/2022 08:25

I’d put the mortgage on the back burner and encourage him to look for another job.
if he’s not managed out eventually the stress will become too much and then how will the mortgage be paid if he’s on ssp or out of a job?

Jessbow · 26/05/2022 08:26

If he isnt supposed to be accessing the iternet at work and hewas..... maybe they are right.

I am thinking he has mental heatlth issues- if they are so tied up with work, sounds like he would be bette out of it

clairethewitch70 · 26/05/2022 08:33

Family owned business. Jobs for the boys. Limited access to the internet. I know exactly the type of business and who the owners probably are. Run run as fast as you can.

tootiredtoocare · 26/05/2022 08:35

He needs to get out. Now. We work to live, we don't allow work to ruin our lives. He needs some advice and confidence building for his CV and interviews, I can imagine his self-confidence is very low due to being chronically undermined. But you're describing someone with great people managing and multitasking skills, and they're valuable anywhere.

Original poster
NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:46

For everyone asking re mortage. Weve a new build waiting to start in Winter , so may loose it

OP posts:
PearlclutchersInc · 26/05/2022 08:48

Family owned doesnt really have much to do with anything - or are you part of the family and things need to be done by the book regarding his performance.

In the long run he needs to get out of there. If he's got any kind of a skillset he'll find something else.

NerrSnerr · 26/05/2022 08:48

People are not saying that he just quits without a new job, they're saying he starts applying for jobs so that he doesn't have time out of employment. If he gets a similarly paid, permanent job it won't affect his mortgage.

He's more at risk sticking in this job with the risk of being fired.

girlmom21 · 26/05/2022 08:48

NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:46

For everyone asking re mortage. Weve a new build waiting to start in Winter , so may loose it

You only need proof of 3 months earnings so if he can get a job in the next few months you'll be fine.

PearlclutchersInc · 26/05/2022 08:49

Badly written sorry, but you get the gist.

icelollycraving · 26/05/2022 08:56

He needs to start looking for a new job, I appreciate that may raise his anxiety level.
New builds come up frequently in most areas. If you lose this opportunity I’m sure there will be others.
His health (mental and physical) is his priority. Best to not get into a financial commitment that entirely ties him to such a toxic environment.

Discovereads · 26/05/2022 09:10

NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:46

For everyone asking re mortage. Weve a new build waiting to start in Winter , so may loose it

New builds aren’t going anywhere. You can pass on it for now. His health and sanity take priority.

Jessbow · 26/05/2022 09:34

I feel like theyre trying to constructively dismiss him.

They cannot constructively dismiss him - there is no such thing.

They are maybe trying to dismiss him

'Constructively dismissal' is where you resign because you feel you have no other option and feel 'forced' to do so.

CaptSkippy · 26/05/2022 09:56

NamechangeFML · 26/05/2022 08:46

For everyone asking re mortage. Weve a new build waiting to start in Winter , so may loose it

This situation is pretty dire. I think you may have to give up on that morgage till he is settled in a new job. At this rate he will burn out and that will hurt your financial situation far worse.

KatherineJaneway · 26/05/2022 09:57

His health takes priority over a mortgage or new house. Surely you can see that.

He needs to start job hunting now. It is not only his health that is taking a toll but his confidence as well and that can be very hard to build back up.

summer712 · 26/05/2022 10:13

Is he a member of a union he can ask for help and advice.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 26/05/2022 10:41

And then his NEWer position was unhappy with his work - but i cant see how he's expected to give 100% to 2 completely different roles?

He isn't. He's supposed to give 20% (1 day a week) to "new" job and 80% to the other.

But i don't understand why they think they are being reasonable?

Honestly it sounds like neither manager is getting what they need from him because he isn't managing his time and isn't communicating (they shouldn't need to chase him all the time for updates - he should be telling them X task will take Y days and remember I work for Z on Mondays...).

Swipe left for the next trending thread