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Original poster

Working nights and staying awake looking after children

106 replies

Em1209 · 20/05/2022 22:00

Hi all,

I am going back to work after having 2 children quite close together, nearly 2 y/o and a nearly 7 m/o. I am going to be doing nights (3 nights each 12h) and then looking after the children in the day due to little childcare.

My DS (2y/o) will be going to nursery on a Wednesday morning for 4 hours which I plan to be the end of the 3 night shifts and I'll only have my DD with me. I plan on doing a Sunday/Monday and Tuesday night.

Had anyone done this long term and survived on say 6-8 hours sleep from the Monday - Wednesday morning? As my DS only naps max 2hours a day now?.

I am doing these shifts to work around my partner who works full time.

Will I survive 😂👀 xx

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 20/05/2022 22:32

No way would I have done nights when mine where that age. Only started doing night shifts when 1 was at uni and other was 18.

AmericanStickInsect · 20/05/2022 22:33

100% no. From fellow shift/night worker with baby and toddler and difficult childcare situation.
Absolutely no.

Floralnomad · 20/05/2022 22:35

What job are you doing - as even if you are not asleep on your feet you will be not functioning properly . If you are picking online shopping fair enough to try it , if you are a nurse absolutely do not . How much sleep do you usually need to function ? I worked nights for years but I only need 4/5 hours sleep normally .

ItsMutinyontheBunty · 20/05/2022 22:35

I did nights for years when DD was little but I had day time child care. Still wore me out! Actually your last night/day time is the day you can potentially stay awake/just go to bed early…
are you talking nights like 8pm til 7am or 6-1am (like supermarket work)? The latter will be tiring but doable. The former - impossible.

nocoolnamesleft · 20/05/2022 22:36

No. Just no. That pattern is quite literally a killer.

Floydthebarber · 20/05/2022 22:36

No, you just can't do that. Dh does 3 12 hour shifts and could not look after our two dds. He would also not be safe to drive to and from work. Or be able to function it work. Sorry op but you need to find something else. Either a different job or childcare for the time you are on nights so you can sleep.

skybluee · 20/05/2022 22:36

Lack of sleep is horrible. I'm struggling to get four hours, if that, a night, and it affects everything. I'm not sure I 100% understand your plan but if you plan on missing sleep on Sunday night, Monday night and Tuesday night, and just having two hours nap each day, that simply isn't going to work, I'm sorry. I hope you find a solution.
One of the worst times in my life was when I was in hospital for a few months and literally was woken up by people's movements several times an hour through the whole night. I felt like I was going mad. Lack of sleep changes you as a person. Is there anyone locally who could look after your children or just anything else to make it workable?

MarmiteCoriander · 20/05/2022 22:38

I used to work nights. I'd sleep well afterwards and had no children. There were days thought that I'd drive home in the morning and not even recall the journey!

You need to look at plan B OP because your plan A isn't safe or doable! Could your OH WFH 1-2 days a week? Could you work Fri/Sat nights so OH can mind the children on the weekend whilst you rest? Not ideal- but safer than your plan.

dewisant2020 · 20/05/2022 22:38

Not possible im afraid, perhaps as a one off (but even then that would be very hard going) i did nights for years and it absolutely kills you even when you sleep all day. By all means give it a try but you won't last long

thecurtainsofdestiny · 20/05/2022 22:39

I know people who have done it, but when I worked night shift there is no way I could have coped. Would not have been able to look after the kids well, and definitely wouldn't have been safe to work.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 20/05/2022 22:40

You might survive. Through exhaustion you might lill someone else though.

AliceW89 · 20/05/2022 22:40

Not in a million years. Sorry OP. As someone who does 3 nights relatively regularly, there isn’t a chance I’d be able to come home from a shift, look after 2 year old DS and then be safe to return to work again that night, before repeating. You need a different plan. I can’t see this working at all without you, your children and your work really suffering.

addictedtotheflats · 20/05/2022 22:41

Absolutely 100% will not work. Cant you do fri sat sun for the short term so at least your partner is home at the weekend so you can sleep. I do thurs fri sat with DS being in nursery thursday friday. It means a lot of weekends but its short term and when they are in school or get 30 free hours you can change your shift pattern

CatSeany · 20/05/2022 22:42

Please don't do three nights without proper rest. One night may be do-able but you would almost certainly struggle with your children the day after. Going back for an extra night shift after a day of looking after children is just dangerous.

timbee2b · 20/05/2022 22:47

You can’t do that, it’s really dangerous

Flackattack · 20/05/2022 22:47

i know someone doing nights who fell asleep at the wheel with her family in the car - you can guess the rest (and hers were school age)
terrible idea.

LorenzoVonMatterhorn · 20/05/2022 22:48

I agree with pp. doing the nights over the weekend, like fri sat sun and having childcare on the Monday would be best.

CoreyTaylorsbiggestfan · 20/05/2022 22:48

As a frequent night shift worker..... not a chance. This is soo dangerous! After a nightshift I can hardly talk and struggle to keep my eyes open when having breakfast with my little one. No way would I be safe caring for her inbetween nights! I certainly couldn't concentrate on my job the next night either!

Notthissticky · 20/05/2022 22:48

Cautionary tale here. The father of one of my pupils recounted a story of when pupil was 2yo and dad had done a night shift as a taxi driver. He was then in sole charger of the 2yo. He fell asleep and the toddler got out of the house and walked off. He was extremely lucky nothing happened to his kid, who had been found and taken to the police. In the conversation that followed, social services made it quite clear they wouldn't be handing kiddo back quite so readily if it happened again. I know this is an extreme case, but it's only one example of how dangerous your plan will be. I hope you find suitable childcare soon

Rupertpenrysmistress · 20/05/2022 22:51

No I don't think this is possible. I used to work one night and that was ok, I made up my hours at the weekend when DH could look after DC. Don't underestimate how awful nights are for your health.

DottyLittleRainbow · 20/05/2022 22:53

As someone who did permanent nights after mat leave I can confidently say - absolutely not.

It’s dangerous and not worth the risk to your health, child, not being able to function safely at work, driving accident, etc.

I also doubt you’d manage it more than a few shifts without feeling really ill, sleep deprivation is used as torture for a reason.

Find some childcare so you can sleep between shifts.

0hourpoo · 20/05/2022 22:56

I currently work 2 8 hour night shifts a week, a day apart from each other so I have one normal.nights sleep in the middle and then a longer break after the 2 shifts.

Have 1yr old dc and 2 other dc, one at preschool until 12pm and other at school until 3pm.

Get a few hours sleep in before a shift- DP home at 7pm, sleep till 10.30pm, leave at 11pm for work, home at 8am
Been doing.it 10 months. Don't think I could do 12 hour shifts though.

mrsfollowill · 20/05/2022 22:57

Sorry O/P - another nope- it's not do-able - maybe at a push once the children are at school and can take themselves there and back. DH did 4 x 10hr nights for 2 years and used to have 6/7 hrs unbroken sleep each day. Was only went he went 9-5 did he realise how sleep deprived he had been- nights are horrendous for messing you up even with the chance to sleep in the day.

Blaze1886 · 20/05/2022 22:58

Let's say you work Sunday 7:00pm-7:00am then look after the kids when you get home so no sleep.

You then go back to work Monday evening at 7:00pm for twelve hours on no sleep and then a full day looking after the kids again on Tuesday followed by another twelve hour shift after two days of no sleep.

This is absolutely crazy. You won't physically be able to do this

Pugfostermum · 20/05/2022 23:05

I tried this for a short time when I had a dog, which slept much more than babies! It wasn’t sustainable……..