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Original poster

What were your signs it’s time to leave your job?

59 replies

Linestripe · 10/04/2022 17:54

I’m 26 and I’m 5 years into a career I’ve realised I don’t really like and isn’t suited to my personality.

I started antidepressants in January because of how miserable my job makes me…

I started drinking wine every single night to just numb the exhaustion and thought of going tomorrow… I’ve been off for a week and not drank at all because I’m not working.

I fantasised about being ill and having to be admitted to hospital, getting into accidents and breaking limbs…even deliberately burning my skin in the sun just to have time off and away. I’ve even looked into having operations to get time off for health reasons.

I don’t think I realised how bad I’ve been until I’ve been off for the past two months…I shouldn’t be wishing my entire life away, wishing for retirement, wishing to not wake up…all because of my job.

I have a huge mortgage, we have only just bought a house so I need to be careful and save to pursue the next career I want, including course fees and household expenses to tide me over finding a new job…

What were your signs it’s time to leave?

OP posts:
Brunosaiditlookslikerain · 10/04/2022 17:57

When every time someone speaks in a meeting I wonder why they care enough to say anything and wonder if they believe in what they're saying.

SilverHairedCat · 10/04/2022 17:58

What do you do now? What wage do you need?

OutlookStalking · 10/04/2022 17:59

Teacher?

You definitely need to leave if its making you that unwell. Goodnews is at 26 you can retrain. Dont leave it til you are 40...

Original poster
Linestripe · 10/04/2022 17:59

@Brunosaiditlookslikerain

When every time someone speaks in a meeting I wonder why they care enough to say anything and wonder if they believe in what they're saying.
Wow! Very true, feel like it’s a waste of time and breath…and always stating the obvious…why does it need to be said?
OP posts:
gettingolderandgrumpy · 10/04/2022 18:00

Op wanting to have a operation to get out of work is really extreme , that’s not normal find a new job .

PeggyGa · 10/04/2022 18:01

Are you a nurse? You sound like me

Tasteslikeregret · 10/04/2022 18:02

Similar to you.

Anti depressants-check
Drinking every night-check
Driving to work praying for an accident-check

When I got to the point of wishing for an accident serious enough to keep me off work for a while -loss of limb/mobility-every time I drove to work, and shared that thought with someone, they were horrified.

It took me far longer than it should have to leave.

Amdone123 · 10/04/2022 18:04

Similar to you, one morning I found myself wishing for a car accident on the way in. That's when I knew.
I'm a lot older than you though, op. I finished for good ( teacher ) at 51. I stopped drinking ( well, cut down!), joined a gym, etc, got fit.
My mortgage had been paid off, though, and I was ok financially. Not rich, but ok.

Iamnotamermaid · 10/04/2022 18:04

When you wake up each morning wishing you could do anything other than work. Get into work and just about get through the day without completely losing it. When you just don't care anymore and you are bored out of your tiny mind & totally miserable Sad

That is when you need to find another job.

Ilikewinter · 10/04/2022 18:06

Well i didnt have the extreme feelings that you're having but for me....
Total absolute boredom, no interest in the Company directives, not taking crap from customers anymore, learning how to get by doing the absolute mininmum but making all the right noises to meet my performance contract ...... ive left by the way and im like a totally different person!

Original poster
Linestripe · 10/04/2022 18:08

I’m in education now and used to do nursing! @PeggyGa @OutlookStalking ! So funny you’ve pinpointed it!

Burned out with nursing and retrained to education and now can’t hack that. I’ve realised I’m very introverted and the constant social interaction is burning me out.

I need to be true to myself and retrain in a career that suits my introversion and to be honest I’m really quite anti-social so preferably a remote role!!

OP posts:
OutlookStalking · 10/04/2022 18:12

Good luck. And well done for realising it now rather than sticking it out too long. Do remember to feel good about that! And know you are not alone.

I have truly stuffed my career up. I wish I'd realised earlier!

ninnynonny · 10/04/2022 18:14

Being passed over every single time for any kind of promotion and watching underqualified, frankly useless people getting them; knowing that even if I was to be the only one going for it, I still wouldn't get it. Being left out of management emails on purpose.
I'm experienced, qualified and bloody good at what I do but there is a definite favouritsm culture and I'm not in that select group. Desperate to go but unsure what to do next

Ilikewinter · 10/04/2022 18:15

I totally get that, i worked in retail and would never ever work in a role that forces me to be socially outgoing again!
Im in the civil service now, im based in a team but have my own workload so not reliant on others to get stuff done and its hybrid working so i only have to put my social face on twice a week - which I quite enjoy!
What are you planning on re-training to do?

Mushrooms0up · 10/04/2022 18:17

Get a new job! I was the same - fantasised about injury to avoid work, every time I received an email
I’d just think ‘fuck off’ and I’ve spend time staring at my calendar counting down to annual leave. Drinking more than I should. I convinced myself for years it was normal and no one likes working.

I’ve just started a new job and the difference is night and day - I’m excited again about doing things and I don’t dread the morning coming. I’ve cut down on alcohol and started exercising again. It feels like life it worth living rather than a countdown to retirement.

HerRoyalNotness · 10/04/2022 18:18

What kind of background do you have education wise? There is a big shortage of cost engineers/controllers. Have a look at the big engineering/construction firms over there and see what roles are being advertised. I’ve had 6 people contact me about roles in the last 2 months. The role I was offered, I am doing very part time (around family and study), they bit my arm off to hire me.

GlisteningGoldGrasses · 10/04/2022 18:18

Same OP I used to hope each day I'd be hit by a car and have a slow recovery right down to imagining the fine details. I realized I needed to leave when I realised it wasn't me it was the job. Colleagues crying on shift, toxic blame atmosphere, every other person off sick and no cover. Looking back I wish I'd left sooner. I'm 3 years into my new job which couldn't be a more contrasting environment, so supportive, but it's only now I'm out that I realise how badly it's affected me and how awful a workplace it actually was. At first all the smiling enthusiastic faces in my new job actually gave me the fear that there must be some draconian policy I'd missed that forced them to behave like that. I'm only just starting to share their enthusiasm and feel my ambition coming back. I feel genuinely happy now though which I thought I'd never feel again and my job is the only change I made. Definitely just go for it, there are endless opportunities out there.

justaweeone · 10/04/2022 18:22

What's your education background and salary expectations in your new role OP?
Education is even more of a horrible place at the moment!

Original poster
Linestripe · 10/04/2022 18:23

@Ilikewinter software coding. My fiancé brother did a short course and walked into a £32,000 job and now is on £38,000 not even a full year later! Works from home, online team meetings, no hassle.

That’s what I’m going to pursue!

OP posts:
Ishouldreallybeonanisland · 10/04/2022 18:23

Oh god I wish for an accident too hoping for a 'break' in hospital. It's so unhealthy and sad as just landed my dream job but it's so so hard and has taken over my life 😔

GlisteningGoldGrasses · 10/04/2022 18:26

If it's helpful OP my move was from a hospital environment to the civil service, they are like night and day. If you've not considered it your background would be welcome, it's rare any role is degree specific I would recommend a browse of the civil service jobs website to see the range of roles if you're at all interested-its very varied. I'm very introverted and not having to work with the general public anymore is such a relief! I've found the Civil Service very understanding of different styles and approaches, we've had seminars on introverted styles of leadership and similar things. I do go to more meetings but I also work from home most of the time so they feel less stressful. Plus there's a very supportive atmosphere so I'm getting more confident at speaking up.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 10/04/2022 18:27

I think if you are taking medication and drinking because of work it's time to consider a change. Also fantasising about actually coming to physical harm just to avoid work is not exactly healthy. It's time to go.

Original poster
Linestripe · 10/04/2022 18:27

@justaweeone I’ve got a diploma and degree, but due to such a 180 career change they won’t be all that relevant.

I’m looking to go into coding and the tech industry. I can take a salary drop to about £25,000. Working remotely will save me massively on work clothes, fuel, and makeup.

I did calculations on buying work clothes and makeup and it is frightening, just to look presentable in my teaching job!

I want to work for a company that doesn’t mind hoodies, working from home and letting me drop children off at school etc and making time up on the other end!

OP posts:
OutlookStalking · 10/04/2022 19:16

Ah that sounds perfect. I dont think I couldn't into coding now but def looking to change.

latriciamcneal · 10/04/2022 19:19

Yes, it was when I thought about hurting myself to get out of work when the thought of going in every day marred my life. I moved and took a 10K pay cut. I never looked back. A job that ruins your life is not worth anything.