What were your signs it’s time to leave your job?

[Linestripe]

I’m 26 and I’m 5 years into a career I’ve realised I don’t really like and isn’t suited to my personality.

I started antidepressants in January because of how miserable my job makes me…

I started drinking wine every single night to just numb the exhaustion and thought of going tomorrow… I’ve been off for a week and not drank at all because I’m not working.

I fantasised about being ill and having to be admitted to hospital, getting into accidents and breaking limbs…even deliberately burning my skin in the sun just to have time off and away. I’ve even looked into having operations to get time off for health reasons.

I don’t think I realised how bad I’ve been until I’ve been off for the past two months…I shouldn’t be wishing my entire life away, wishing for retirement, wishing to not wake up…all because of my job.

I have a huge mortgage, we have only just bought a house so I need to be careful and save to pursue the next career I want, including course fees and household expenses to tide me over finding a new job…

What were your signs it’s time to leave?

I don't understand how you're 26 with a nursing diploma and teaching degree ? Together that's at least 7 years studying ?

Teaching would be a 1 year pgce if she had a nursing degree. So 4 years?

Ahh yes, that makes sense 🤦‍♀️

Still doesn't leave a lot of time to have worked and burnt out in both professions ??

When you see your colleagues dismissed for not much reason. There's sackings deserved and then politically ruthless.
When you get QA'd and have the petty-ist comments.
When the company doff you for writing a ticket wrong which goes against their internal policies!
When your employer refuses any further development/coaching.
When your (ex) leader makes the point, the company is that of a throw-away-able culture.
When your (ex) leader keeps asking are you are happy here? Do you think you'll be here a long time?
When you realise as a 40-year old, the senior staff standing are 20-something and with the greatest of respect haven't been promoted on any long-term experience. I'm all for supporting younger managers but it's hard when you ask for help and they just don't know because they went to the next grade after 2 months of service.
When you see the leadership team in current workplace and it doesn't inspire you to want to progress in that work place? (or barely anywhere else)
When you cannot take holiday in busy time, you lose that time and blow me down when it's quiet - of course it's new holiday year, you haven't the ability to go on holiday due to non-accural and the company has no sense to ask you to take leave during such a time.
When you sit in an office for no good reason - listening to other agents being slated and then wonder what do they say behind my back.
When customers tell you to get another job.
When the CEO does a runner!!

I got glandular fever due to stress depressing my immune system. Burnt out,
Short tempered

When I felt it was time to leave I realised the signs had been staring me in the face for so long. I’d let myself become so small working in such a toxic culture. It sounds like you’re way beyond that. Have you spoken to a professional about how you’re feeling? Can you get yourself signed off to make a plan? What is your experience in?

I was made redundant last year, it was a tough journey but I’ve pivoted to a wonderful career in tech doing something quite different and earning nearly double, in a non-techy role that’s given me so much opportunity, in a brilliant culture, working from home.

You can do it.

@ohsotired2022

Still doesn't leave a lot of time to have worked and burnt out in both professions ??

Remember both degrees require working and studying 50/50. I’m only 26 yes… but been working since I was 17 in two careers that really don’t suit me… plenty time to burn out and over-do things. I was working a cleaning job in evenings while teaching last year and also undertaking further study at university. Before that during nursing I was juggling placement, study and working in retail.

I’ve been pretending I’m something I’m not in two different careers, both careers demanding an outgoing, extroverted personality to succeed on the whole.

That’s been my mistake for my adult working career. I was always one of the quietest in my class, my social battery drains very quickly…of course it wouldn’t suit me career wise being in those professions…hence the burn out. Coupled with increase in number of children with extreme support needs, autism and additional needs/global delays and lack of staff.

I’m due a total career 180, into something not as demanding as care or education or as social.

Hoping to be ill or injured to avoid work, waking up with heart hammering because it’s Monday yet again. Massive sympathy, I’m looking for a way out too.

When I was already dreading Monday on Saturday morning. I had a permanent ball of anxiety in my chest.

@FloBot7

When I was already dreading Monday on Saturday morning. I had a permanent ball of anxiety in my chest.

This has been me for two years…I thought everyone felt this…

I dream about work most nights too…I do a shift in my sleep and wake up and do it for another 8 hours!!

I work in a nursery on minimum wage and I hate it, I am always second guessing myself, trying to work out if I’m doing things right, trying and failing to fit in. Now a child has started who needs one to one supervision and is very hard work, very destructive and it’s like the final straw. I have come off social media because my colleagues tag each other in stuff and leave me out. I can’t even bear to hear anything about nurseries or planning bloody activities. We’ve just broken up for Easter hols and I feel much better but it’s lurking at the back of my mind all the time that I have to go back. I enter so many money competitions but win nothing. I can’t move because I have such limited options and zero confidence but if you feel anything like I feel please get out. I don’t recognise myself anymore I have no energy or positivity and can’t remember when I last truly felt happy and not weighed down. You seem to have a plan b so go for it!

Despite being really unwell with it I was secretly thrilled to get Covid back in October, meaning that I could not legally go into work for 10 whole days

Unfortunately even though I informed them of things that would need to be covered whilst I wasn't in, they still called/messaged/emailled me on my personal mobile daily, berrating me.

I've since moved areas within the business .

Just wanted to say thank you for starting this thread; and for all the helpful input. I am on the way to feeling like this (nursing), and reading this has really helped...

@ohsotired2022

Still doesn't leave a lot of time to have worked and burnt out in both professions ??

Having worked in both professions myself, believe me it's enough time. Particularly as the OP says, if you're not an extrovert personality who can cope with bring 'on' all day, everyday.

I am the same, OP. Just dread every working day. Need to find a way out before I lose myself completely.

[quote Linestripe]@Ilikewinter software coding. My fiancé brother did a short course and walked into a £32,000 job and now is on £38,000 not even a full year later! Works from home, online team meetings, no hassle.

That’s what I’m going to pursue![/quote]
That sounds very interesting @Linestripe - do you have details of the course?

As a fellow introvert I know exactly how you feel. Good luck!

For me, it was when I was skidding off the road, heading towards a ditch, and my first thought was “I'm going to die” and my second thought was “well, at least I won't have to go into work tomorrow”.

I heard that just under 50% of teachers are planning to quit/retrain in the next year.

Education is in an absolute mess. I've felt very similar to you and others on here - I work in higher ed and there's huge amounts of stress and pressure but unlike teaching there's also constant fear of losing our jobs. It's the same in further ed according to close colleagues.

It does sound nursing and teaching both aren't the careers for you.
I'm a nurse and my daughter is a teacher so complexly understand that they are both stressful professions.
I just feel your story has gaps that don't make sense.
How have you managed to have 2 pregnancies plus 2 degrees plus working in 2 careers. Were you entitled to Mat leave ? Both teaching and nursing have good maternity packages.

Anyway at 26 with 2 degrees there is so much you could do.
Retrain.
Do a masters.
Many jobs would look favourably at the fact you are so young and have had the drive to study for 2 degrees

Sitting at the train station and wondered how painful the impact of walking into a train would be… had been years of short staffing, covid and those self isolating because they “don’t trust the science”.. I was done. Went home filled out an application for job in same company, got it and whilst I miss a few of my my friends there I’m so glad to be out of the toxic, bitchy, shit staffing. And I get paid more, always a bonus

When my Boss hit my arm because I told the opposite of his opinion. Well, now I have a good way to find something else and be happy without the fear to be fired.

I thought it was just me who fantasises about breaking both legs so that I wouldn’t have to go to work! It makes me feel slightly better that I’m not the only one!

Instead of retraining, why not advisory or consulting for the two sectors you’re qualified in? Search indeed for things like “education consulting” “healthcare advisory”. It doesn’t sound like you have a passion for coding either, more about the work lifestyle and seen your BIL make a success of it, so I’d be wary of spending money on training into a third career.

I have just got a new job (yay) I'm 27 so a similar age to you, I was in my last job for 4 years and I became really depressed.. I used to look around the office and find all the places i could hang myself from.... I once read an article about someone who had died and I felt jealous! Definitely get a New job! There's more to life than this!

I was shaking and crying at the thought of going into work; up all night watching DVDs as I couldn’t sleep. I was also on anti-depressants.