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Am I in the wrong?

36 replies

Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 18:33

Hiya, this is my first ever post so I hope I'm doing thing properly.

I feel really deflated and I just wanted anyone's advice to see if I am in the wrong.

I have a 5 year old ds and a 8 month old dd. After my maternity leave I decided that I wasn't sure if I wanted to go back to my job I had been at for 3 years working for the nhs nothing wrong with the job I just fancied a change in my career.

I applied for a job in a local doctors surgery that was part time and they called me about arranging an interview, at this point I didn't know much about the job apart from it was local doctors surgery and it was part time the lady I spoke to over the phone was really nice and said just come in for an interview and we can have a chat and discuss everything.

Anyway sorry about the waffling but to get the point I went to the interview today and firstly was made to wait half an hour before I even saw anyone but that was fine, I was interviewed by two people one was the practice manager she was very abrupt with her questions and I didn't take a warming to her she explained that they would need me to work 3 days a week each day at a different practice, and that the pay would be much less than I already get paid. At the end of the interview she said i don't ussually do this but I would like to offer you the job. I said 'thankyou that's great I just need a little time to think about it and go through the hours with my mum as she will be looking after my children' she said that's great I'm going to have some lunch then I will give you a call and see how you feel.

When i got home I went through the positives and negatives and decided the job wasn't for me. So when she called I said thankyou for the opportunity but I don't think this job is the best suit for me, then after that her tone completely changed she asked why and I said the travelling wouldn't suit me and the pay isn't what I was looking for. She then raised her voice saying ' just some advice for the future before you have an interview think about what you want first as you have wasted all morning for me and my colleuge and we've just spent half our lunch break sorting out shifts for you, I'm actually disgusted in you I'm glad you have declined the job' I was gobsmacked i said I'm really sorry you feel like this but to me an interview works both ways It gives you a chance to see if you want me and me a chance to see if the job suits me she responded with ' well thanks for being a time waster, you will not be welcome for a job here in the future' and hung the phone up on me.
The reason I'm posting this is since having my dd I have really lost my confidence and this was my first interview in a long time and I really didn't feel that I did anything wrong? I thought letting someone know 1 hour after an interview that it wasn't for me wasn't time wasting. My mum told me just to forget about it, but I have anxiety and its really playing on my mind its made me feel like an idiot and knocked my confidence for future interviews.

OP posts:
Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 18:34

Sorry just realised how long that post was

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Auntieobem · 15/02/2022 18:36

Looks like you've had a lucky escape! You did exactly the right thing, and you are correct about an interview being a 2 way thing.

SickAndTiredAgain · 15/02/2022 18:36

No, you’re not in the wrong. She sounds ridiculous and horrible - you’ve dodged a bullet.

Even if you’d had all that info upfront, of course you’re allowed to turn down a job offer. But especially given that the job advert didn’t make the travelling clear.

SeasonFinale · 15/02/2022 18:37

She is totally in the wrong and behaved unprofessionally. Please don't let it knock your confidence. If anything take from it that you got a job offer first try for which congratulations.

Don't just take anything take what is right for you and your family.

TheSnowyOwl · 15/02/2022 18:37

You are completely in the right to see an interview as a process to ensure you want the job as well. I imagine she was just venting what many people feel after wasting time but that’s not your fault or your responsibility to worry about.

Good luck with getting the right job in the future.

Luredbyapomegranate · 15/02/2022 18:38

As above. You dodged a bullet.

Hollyhocksarenotmessy · 15/02/2022 18:39

If the travel and salary weren't mentioned up front, they wasted everyone's time, not you.

She sounds like a total cow. Lucky escape for you.

ChittyBangs · 15/02/2022 18:40

You aren't in the wrong.
Totally agree with you that interviews work both ways. You do get an instant feel for the place.

Being in 3 different surgeries should have been mentioned in the job advert.

I wouldn't be surprised if afew people have said no to this.

Lucky escape!

FlorenceNightshade · 15/02/2022 18:40

What a ratbag!!!! And what a lucky escape you’ve had! You’ll find your ideal role and when you do you’ll be able to laugh about this!!
Although in all seriousness I’d maybe sent a letter outlining her behaviour to her line manager

CrotchetyQuaver · 15/02/2022 18:40

God no, sounds like it would be an awful place(s) to work. Why would you even consider taking it.

She sounds unhinged and would probably sack you after a week. Not normal at all, you've done the right thing.

iklboo · 15/02/2022 18:44

Jeez, imagine what she's like to work with!

Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 18:48

Thankyou everyone for your replies. They have really cheered me up, you are all so kind to take time out of your day to reassure me, I wasn't expecting anyone to reply.
I'm just not one of those people that forgets things easily I hate confrontation and when someone acts like that towards me it just plays on my mind and makes me feel really small.
You are all definitely right though I should look at it as a positive I can't begin to imagine what she would be like as a manager. I'm not sure what to do now as my previous job has said the door is always open for me to come back and my manager was so lovely it's made me think maybe I was really lucky where I was and I shouldn't look at moving elsewhere.

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LazySaturday · 15/02/2022 19:00

Yep lucky escape.
The only way they could have offered you the job on the spot is if there were no other applicants (or you were the last and there was no contest)
She sounds awful and is probably the reason they needed somebody so badly.
An interview absolutely does work both ways and she clearly needs more training on recruitment processes to help her recognise that.

minniep · 15/02/2022 19:09

She sounds awful and you dodged a bullet there. I took a job eight years ago (right after maternity leave as well ) my previous position was gone as the company closed and my confidence wasn't great and it was the worst thing I did. Even though everything at the time was telling me that it wasn't right for me. I'll never let myself get into that position again

ChittyBangs · 15/02/2022 19:10

Nothing stopping you going back to previous job and continuing to apply for other jobs.

Iamanicepersonreally · 15/02/2022 19:13

Didn’t you know what the pay was before you applied?

Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 19:17

Yes I am thinking this might be best. I thought in my head that if I went back to my previous job I would never push myself to leave - but after today I feel like the position I was in with my previous job was really flexible and my manager was so understanding and with 2 children I think this is what I need. After witnessing what I did today I'm scared I may find a job with a manager like that.
I know you might think I'm over reacting but I overthink everything I know this is a small situation and nothing compared to what's going on in the world right now but I know what she said will play on my mind for ages.

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Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 19:22

I didn't know what the pay was until today at the interview as I was told we would discuss everything at the interview. I was surprised to hear it was much less than I get paid at the moment as I would have considered the job to be a step up from what I do at the moment and harder work.

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Iamanicepersonreally · 15/02/2022 19:24

You’re definitely not being unreasonable. An interview is a two way process

Justleaveitblankthen · 15/02/2022 19:49

She showed you exactly who she was in those few short minutes. Imagine what she would have been like to work for! Don't loose any sleep over this one, it will be something to look back and laugh at.Grin

Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 19:57

Thankyou. The worst part is its my local doctors that my family and I are patients at. I know it sounds silly but since having my dd my nerves about everything have got worse and now I even feel worried about going to the doctors incase I bump into her and she has ago at me, I hate confrontation even though I know I haven't done anything wrong.

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Motnight · 15/02/2022 20:00

Another one saying lucky escape, Op.

Don't let this experience get you down.

Peasandcabbage · 15/02/2022 20:00

@Cakeybubblespink to be honest I would be raising that with doctors. Appalling way to be treated and whilst you have had a lucky escape, absolutely not the way a practice manager should be behaving.

whysoserious123 · 15/02/2022 20:04

Wow you handled that well I wouldn't of been so kind. Lucky escape. Dont give it another thought and just be proud you kept it together

Cakeybubblespink · 15/02/2022 20:07

@whysoserious123
Thanks. I was so shocked when she reacted like that I was really lost for words. After the phone call though I was sitting thinking of all the things I wish I had said 🙊

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