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Original poster

I utterly hate my job, what could I do instead

34 replies

GMH74 · 04/02/2022 17:51

I have a job I despise. I have two degrees, one of which is from Cambridge. This job doesn't even require a degree. I had to send in my GCSE certificates when I got it to prove I had them. That's how stupid it is. I'm so miserable. My manager is always complaining about something. The hours are awful as I have to cover evening meetings which go on til 10pm. It is also nearly an hour from home and I have to be there in person. I'm not even any good at covering meetings because I'm quite badly deaf.
I had a job which was a bit better before I had children but I took a long career break when I had children and then took pretty awful jobs to fit around them. I'm back in the sort of industry I was in pre children but the role is a lesser one. (I don't want to say too much in case I can be identified). There were a lot of cutbacks when I was taking a career break and so the sort of thing I had before in research and projects is much harder to get.
I've come into some money, do you think it would be mad to leave without having a job to go to in order to find something I want to do. Or even to re-train? I've done humanities-type subjects and my masters is very niche and not very employable. My first degree was a 2:2 so even though it was Cambridge it has shut a lot of doors. It wasn't a sensible subject either.
What would you do in my situation? Although I have money, my husband is constantly out of work so we would go through it pretty fast if neither of us were working.
As I say I have a humanities background and am good at research and projects. I'd like to work in education but have really poor hearing.
Please be kind. My work makes me miserable enough.

OP posts:
MissVictoriaPlum · 04/02/2022 19:08

I don't know the extent of your hearing loss, but I used to teach and I had two deaf colleagues who were both brilliant teachers. I don't think it stops you teaching if you're interested. If not what about a pastoral head of year role in a school? A non teaching one.
It's hard to advise without knowing what you do now, but can you afford to retrain?

Didiusfalco · 04/02/2022 19:18

If it’s making you miserable, I would leave. If worst comes to the worst, jobs that make you miserable are easy to come by - you can find another. You have a Cambridge degree, don’t downplay that - they don’t just let anyone in. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t work in education. They don’t really pay well for non-teachers, but I’m not sure that’s the problem you identified. I work in this sector and I really like it apart from the low pay. A friend of mine recently quit her corporate job, with nothing to go and now works for a charity and is much happier, I think it’s not a bad time to take a risk because the job market is good.

Squashpocket · 04/02/2022 19:37

What do you want from a job? I work in a university - with a Cambridge degree and masters I'm sure you could get a job in research project co-ordination/management. Lots of it is part time and remote working. The pay isn't terrible for the work you have to do. They aren't over run with great candidates either.

You could even look in to getting in to academia if you fancied stretching your brain again. Lots of my colleagues have done PhDs in later life.

What interests you?

Original poster
GMH74 · 04/02/2022 22:07

I like history. My husband says I can't leave when he's out of work but that's practically all the time

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 04/02/2022 22:09

How about the civil service OP?

Hoppinggreen · 05/02/2022 11:12

@GMH74

I like history. My husband says I can't leave when he's out of work but that's practically all the time
Why doesn’t he have stable employment? If he can it gives you a few more options
Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 11:48

My husband insists on contracting. I suspect he has autism. He doesn't communicate well with people. He was constantly being let go from permanent work and he is from contracting too but that doesn't seem to hurt his pride as much. It drives me nuts. I'm supposed to be the responsible adult and hold down a job even though it's making me extremely stressed and even though I was the one who took the career break to raise the family.

OP posts:
pitterpatterrain · 05/02/2022 11:54

Sounds like there are many things going on - resentment that you’re stuck in a job which is not great due to your DH essentially flitting between things and not taking responsibility

Definitely moving is going to work better for you - can you look for related jobs and see it as a steady move towards something more suited in the next 3-5 years?

As a PP mentioned do you need the retraining or is it the confidence to position your experience for new things?

And for your DH - is there a discussion that needs to be had “what if” the opportunities start to slow down (accumulation of his reputation, age often biases employers) does he need a diagnosis and appropriate work awareness / adjustments?

Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 12:06

He refuses to acknowledge that he has Asperger's / autism but I've been with him 26 years and so many behaviours lead me to think he has.
As I say I have money I could use to retrain if I thought it would help and if I could work out what I could do. He really doesn't want me to stop bringing home the bacon though. Although I hold down a job it is pretty poorly paid with horrible hours - 13 hour days due to evening meetings anyone?

OP posts:
PupInAPram · 05/02/2022 12:17

Honestly, I would take your money and run. Move to wherever you find work. Don't move the hubby with you.

Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 12:31

Some friends have said the same. Wouldn't he be entitled to half my money though?

OP posts:
Dillydollydingdong · 05/02/2022 12:38

Probably he would get a fair chunk of the joint marital assets. He's unemployed, no income, no career. You're well educated and working. But how long can you carry on like this? Hating your job, miserable in your relationship, and having the burden of a husband who doesn't pull his weight. Presumably there are no dependent children? How exciting to have a completely fresh start while you're still young enough to enjoy it.

Motnight · 05/02/2022 12:45

Just because a job doesn't require a degree doesn't make it 'stupid' Op. Regarding the 13 hour days, I am not even sure if that is legal.

I would pay for some careers counselling if I were you. And think about whether you want to stay with your husband.

Hoppinggreen · 05/02/2022 12:52

@PupInAPram

Honestly, I would take your money and run. Move to wherever you find work. Don't move the hubby with you.
Yes Once you are single you can focus on your career and yourself properly
Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 12:53

There are dependent children. And it is the 13 hour days and having to supply my own laptop and various other c**p I get from them that makes it stupid. Some weeks there is even more than one day when I'm required to do 13 hours.

OP posts:
PupInAPram · 05/02/2022 12:54

Why don't you let your mind go there OP. How would you practically make this happen? Start job hunting in areas where you would like to live. In necessary airbnb Monday to Friday until you can put all the practical steps in place to live there permanently. In your imagination try on living the single life and how freedom makes you feel.

tackling · 05/02/2022 12:57

I think you can get free advice from the national careers service. No idea how good they are though, someone else here might know - dh was going to try a session a few years back but then got a job.

Howshouldibehave · 05/02/2022 13:20

had to send in my GCSE certificates when I got it to prove I had them. That's how stupid it is

I don’t think that’s particularly stupid. I have A levels, a degree, PGCE and a masters and still have show my gcse certificates for teaching jobs.

Daftasabroom · 05/02/2022 13:26

Over the next few years there is going to be an increasing need for environmental sustainability and lifestyle analysis auditors. Could your degrees help with that?

Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 13:50

I can't just up sticks because my children are doing GCSE and A levels

OP posts:
PupInAPram · 05/02/2022 13:58

Are they in Year 11 and 13? Even if it's 10 and 12 you could be living very differently in a year and a half. In the meantime, would it be easier to get 2 part time jobs locally. Where I am there seem to be a lot of part time jobs. I wouldn't get too hung up on degree thing. Any job can lead to promotion.

user1477249785 · 05/02/2022 14:28

Where are you based op?

Original poster
GMH74 · 05/02/2022 15:56

I'm based in the South East about an hour and a half from London. A lot of people find they have to commute into London for the decent jobs. It's pretty but rather dead jobwise around here.
My kids are year 11 and 12.

OP posts:
user1477249785 · 05/02/2022 16:14

I really think civil service might be a good option. You could do eg one or two days a week in London and then three days from home.

I think I saw that the foreign office is running a recruitment campaign at the moment but there will be other departments too.

Bionicname · 06/02/2022 00:26

How about the National Archives? Civil Service, based in SE London so hopefully accessible commute for you. They have all sorts of different jobs open.
www.civilservicejobs.service.gov.uk/csr/index.cgi?SID=b3duZXI9NTA3MDAwMCZwYWdlYWN0aW9uPXNlYXJjaGJ5Y29udGV4dGlkJnVzZXJzZWFyY2hjb250ZXh0PTE0NzcwNzkxOCZwYWdlY2xhc3M9Sm9icyZvd25lcnR5cGU9ZmFpciZyZXFzaWc9MTY0NDEwNzEyOS0wNjM4OTAwZGM0N2U5MjE3MjAxZDJhNTlmZTUwMTU0MzcxOWUxOGQ3

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