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Original poster

DH disciplinary over covid isolation

52 replies

lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 13:59

Hi looking for any advice here as feeling rather stressed for my DH.

DH and DD tested positive for covid last week they were told isolation would be up this Saturday unless they are testing negative (still testing positive today) DH work were ringing from Monday asking when he will be back in and on the Tuesday his manager told him to stop testing as he needs to be in work on Friday and over the weekend. DH reluctantly agrees that if he was ok then he would. I also tested Positive late last week but was fine for days, until Wednesday since when I have barely left the bed unless it was to be sick, I've had quite bad symptoms and haven't been able to keep food down for days, temp of 39+ and extremely bad shivers/aches. I told DH I really didn't think I'm up to taking care of the kids as I feel honestly awful. My DH himself still looks and feels pretty awful too. He contacted his boss yesterday to say he will not be able to work as I am ill, he needs to watch the kids and he himself still doesn't feel up to it. His boss has today rang and said they will need a formal meeting next week and that he's caused so much trouble with this, I am a SAHM so why can't I watch my kids or sort family to (family obviously reluctant as kids positive too!) the clients aren't happy with him etc etc. It wasn't a very nice phone call and got very heated. I'm just cross as they have put so much pressure on him to return when they knew he should still be isolating. He's feeling so stressed and anxious now that he said he will call the doctor next week as he has
Worked his arse off for them in the past and feels so unappreciated now.

Are they in the wrong? Can they do this?

OP posts:
MadeForThis · 04/02/2022 14:04

He needs to focus on himself and on legal and employment rules

No 1 - legally he has to isolate for 10 days or until 2 negative tests taken after day 5. Employers cannot discipline staff for isolating as per rules.

No2 - he is too sick to return to work. He need to follow normal sickness policy.

The problem is they don't have to give him time off because you are sick or for childcare.

titchy · 04/02/2022 14:14

There's two separate issues here. Being off because he has covid and therefore had to isolate. He shouldn't be agreeing to not test just cos his boss wants him back. Second issue is he's told him he needs to be off for childcare not covid reasons - boss doesn't have to agree to that. He should be able to get one day unpaid family emergency leave though.

DSGR · 04/02/2022 14:17

He shouldn’t have told them he was taking time to look after you and the kids. He should have said he was still testing positive and couldn’t leave isolation for 10 days. This is what he needs to say at the meeting next week - I was completing the requirement under law and you are putting me under undue pressure to return. I told you I wasn’t feeling well enough and also mentioned my wife and children were also ill, but I didn’t come in as I was following rules and was recovering from Covid

Howshouldibehave · 04/02/2022 14:22

DH and DD tested positive for covid last week they were told isolation would be up this Saturday unless they are testing negative (still testing positive today)

Do you mean unless they are testing positive? What day of Covid is he on now?

If he’s still ill/testing positive, that’s one thing. He’s asking for time for childcare-that’s different.

LIZS · 04/02/2022 14:24

He should avoid making reference to looking after you or dc. He is unwell and can self certify.

FawnFrenchieMum · 04/02/2022 14:26

You need to be a lot clearer on what day he’s on covid wise. I can’t work out if we’re past day 10 or not.
The second problem is that he didn’t say he was too ill to work himself (ie take sick leave) he said he was caring for you and your children. There’s no legal requirement to approve that.

Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 14:26

@Howshouldibehave

DH and DD tested positive for covid last week they were told isolation would be up this Saturday unless they are testing negative (still testing positive today)

Do you mean unless they are testing positive? What day of Covid is he on now?

If he’s still ill/testing positive, that’s one thing. He’s asking for time for childcare-that’s different.

Positive test last Thursday for DH and DD, 10 day isolation up after tomorrow we were told, unless they had 2 negative tests in a row which we haven't as still testing positive today. Obviously asking for time off for childcare wasn't the right thing to do but I think DH didn't want to still say he felt ill and couldn't go in and to be honest I can't even lift youngest DC out of cot at the moment as have spent 3 days being sick to the point blood vessels around my eyes have burst, we can't ask family to watch the kids so what the hell do we do Sad
OP posts:
Psychonabike · 04/02/2022 14:39

To be honest, it's the mixed messages that are the issue. Trying to be "helpful" can cause more problems.

When you get a positive PCR/report a positive LFT you can request an email to forward to your employer that states the law around self isolating until day 10 and gives your specific date. Best just to forward that to them and tell them that if free of symptoms you will do LFTs from day 6 and return to work when you have two negs.

Helpful then, just to update them at day 6 as to whether symptom free or not. "Still have symptoms at day 6, feeling very unwell, don't expect to return to work before day 10". Approaching day 10 if still sick, need a sickline from GP.

That's it. Any additional info is just confusing. The employer is obviously doubting your husband is unwell as he has brought it caring for you and the children...unfortunately this just muddies everything. Yes, a reasonable employer should be understanding but many just don't care and it's best to keep to the specifics of the employee being ill...or not.

Assuming your husband did report his positive test, he should just forward the email to his employer now with a message to say that in accordance with that, as he is still symptomatic he is isolating until the date advised. "Sorry for muddying the waters with the unnecessary explanations around family circumstances".

FawnFrenchieMum · 04/02/2022 14:55

Tell your dh to get himself a covid isolation note with the correct self isolation dates on. He would be breaking the law going back to work before Day 10 OR two negative LFT. This is all he needs to discuss with them. Not you or the kids, or even really his symptoms, how ever if he is still ill after Day 10, he would then be off sick not isolating. Again do not bring into it you or the kids.

FawnFrenchieMum · 04/02/2022 14:55

111.nhs.uk/isolation-note/

Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 15:13

Thank you @Psychonabike @FawnFrenchieMum thats is great advice. I feel really guilty with the whole situation as he is so stressed now. I agree he should never of mentioned me or the kids or ever let them pressure him into returning early anyway when he was still testing positive. He works in a very high stress environment and I understand that this causes major problems for them but surely making him feel this awful for being off isn't acceptable. I overheard the phone call and it was pretty rough considering my DH hasn't put a foot wrong and works his arse off

OP posts:
Dumblebum · 04/02/2022 15:19

I agree the fundamental problem here is he agreed to be in work then told them he couldn’t due to child care issues, which they can take issue with, as they have done. I’m sorry. If he had said I’m really Ill and no one will want to see me, he’d have been fine, but he didn’t.

Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 15:26

@Dumblebum

I agree the fundamental problem here is he agreed to be in work then told them he couldn’t due to child care issues, which they can take issue with, as they have done. I’m sorry. If he had said I’m really Ill and no one will want to see me, he’d have been fine, but he didn’t.
Yep I agree, dropped a bollock there didn't he Sad you live and you learn. He's a honest man and honestly thought he had a good relationship with his manager to the point he would understand that our children can't look after themselves while I'm really poorly. But yes, really shouldn't of said it was for me or the kids kicking himself now for that.
OP posts:
Cakeandcardio · 04/02/2022 15:48

I think there's a lot of silliness over how many days since he's had covid etc. It's not about that. If he's sick, he's sick. Get a sick line from the doctors.

FawnFrenchieMum · 04/02/2022 16:29

@Cakeandcardio

I think there's a lot of silliness over how many days since he's had covid etc. It's not about that. If he's sick, he's sick. Get a sick line from the doctors.
Of course it matters whether he is in the legal isolation period or whether he’s still ill after the 10 days isolation.
LIZS · 04/02/2022 17:38

Was it definitely disciplinary or a back to work meeting?

Psychonabike · 04/02/2022 17:54

@Cakeandcardio

You can't get a GP sickline for the 10 days covid self isolation though. Only if you are still sick after that, which isn't what the OP is talking about.

lostoldname · 04/02/2022 17:59

Does he ati have active symptoms or sickness or Diarreah. If so he should continue to isolate after 10
Days.

Neolara · 04/02/2022 18:00

I thought you could only leave isolation at 10 days if you didn't have symptoms. If your DH is still symptomatic on, for example days 11 or 12, then I thought he still needed to isolate.

Cakeandcardio · 04/02/2022 18:01

[quote Psychonabike]@Cakeandcardio

You can't get a GP sickline for the 10 days covid self isolation though. Only if you are still sick after that, which isn't what the OP is talking about.[/quote]
Oh. I didn't realise about the sick line! Sorry misunderstood

wantanewlife · 04/02/2022 18:02

He needs to contact ACAS and maybe a solicitor

DysmalRadius · 04/02/2022 18:05

Might it be worth him being proactive about it? Could he email in advance of the meeting to say that he is sorry that his absence caused inconvenience and he appreciates that the timing was bad, but he was really uncomfortable being asked to break isolation rules and come back early, particularly as he (and everyone in the household) was still symptomatic.

That way he has offered a 'sorry (but not) apology, covered the real issue (them asking him to break the law), and explained the confusion over his phone call all in one fell swoop that doesn't really leave them with anywhere to go in the meeting.

Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 18:42

@LIZS

Was it definitely disciplinary or a back to work meeting?
Yes definitely as his boss said he needs to decide if him working for the business is still workable, and made some thinly veiled threat about them getting rid of other people easily when it didn't work. I wouldn't mind but my DH had worked so hard, works every hour given including weekends and evening and spends most of his time at home on his laptop or answering work calls! He's worked so hard to get to where he is which is why I'm so gutted for him
OP posts:
Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 18:44

@lostoldname

Does he ati have active symptoms or sickness or Diarreah. If so he should continue to isolate after 10 Days.
Yes still running a temp & generally feeling unwell although he has been able to get up and take care of the kids. Work don't care about this which given the industry he works in shocks me! I wasn't happy at them telling him to stop testing and just go in as I told him he should be isolating still
OP posts:
Original poster
lucylucyapplejuicy · 04/02/2022 18:44

@DysmalRadius

Might it be worth him being proactive about it? Could he email in advance of the meeting to say that he is sorry that his absence caused inconvenience and he appreciates that the timing was bad, but he was really uncomfortable being asked to break isolation rules and come back early, particularly as he (and everyone in the household) was still symptomatic.

That way he has offered a 'sorry (but not) apology, covered the real issue (them asking him to break the law), and explained the confusion over his phone call all in one fell swoop that doesn't really leave them with anywhere to go in the meeting.

Good idea I just mentioned it and he said he will do this thank you
OP posts: