Leaving nursing profession for good.

[babyblueblush]

Hi,

I'm new here.

I qualified as a nurse two years ago and I have worked in wards up until recently. I found a job in an outpatients dept which has been ok and much better hours.

From my time on the wards, all I can remember is coming home most days feeling deflated, stressed, miserable and spaced out. The bullying, being undervalued, turning up for your shift with no staff and expecting to work in those conditions. It takes its toll. Shouting for help to managers but none given. Seeing patients receiving the opposite of 'good standards of care.' I just couldn't be a part of it all anymore.

Low and behold I get a new job. Two months into this job, they then tell me 'I'm not needed and I've to go back to the wards.. they can't tell me how long for- but I'm more needed there. (Which is true)

However, I'm now going back to what I dreaded the most. I can't face going to my doctor again because I'm so unwell with the stress of it all. Being up at night panicking I've missed things, worrying constantly about the registration I might lose.

So I signed myself off sick. Right now I am looking for other jobs. Any jobs. Office jobs / school jobs / anywhere that will take me.

I can't do it to myself anymore. The long hours, missing out on having a social life and also my own child's life. I'm disheartened and I'm sad, I hold a huge amount of guilt with me every day, knowing that this is how I feel and that I may finally be putting myself first. I know I need to leave, for my own mental health but why do I feel so bad about it?

I've searched high and low on here for other nurses who may be feeling the same way.. and I come across it and they all stay. They don't leave, because the guilt. I know so many of us don't enjoy our jobs- people say 'find a new job, go to a new dept' but when you do this, it's still out of your hands.

I've lost passion, I've lost motivation, I'm defeated by this degree and everything that's came with it. (Let's not even get into the dreaded c word)

I suppose I'm just looking for any sort of empathy right now that it's ok to be feeling this way, and that it's ok if I do genuinely leave.

Hi, nurse with 25+ years of experience here. I 100% get it. It's an awful shame that this still happens to new nurses, I felt the same during my ward days. Like you are not doing the job you want to do, despite wearing yourself out trying.

In my case, a different job brought a change, mine was in critical care, and I still felt warm and fuzzy after 9 years when a shift leader came by and asked when I wanted my break. " I don't care, I'm getting a break!"
Just things like going home on time, as well as one to one nursing made it brilliant, and a culture of supporting helping each other out rather than bickering and bitching. You learn a lot too
However, with covid I don't know what it is like now. High incidence of mental health illness in staff there too, just different reasons.

Would you consider community?

Having said that- if you decide to leave then leave. You should never work somewhere that's making you sick. Most people would not consider doing the job in the first place, you did more than most!

Take care and be kind to yourself

So sorry about this.
Try community, plenty of nurses tell me they have fallen in love with nursing again after a few weeks.
Better hours too
PM if you want to ask me anything.

@differentkindofpenguin

Hi, nurse with 25+ years of experience here. I 100% get it. It's an awful shame that this still happens to new nurses, I felt the same during my ward days. Like you are not doing the job you want to do, despite wearing yourself out trying.

In my case, a different job brought a change, mine was in critical care, and I still felt warm and fuzzy after 9 years when a shift leader came by and asked when I wanted my break. " I don't care, I'm getting a break!"
Just things like going home on time, as well as one to one nursing made it brilliant, and a culture of supporting helping each other out rather than bickering and bitching. You learn a lot too
However, with covid I don't know what it is like now. High incidence of mental health illness in staff there too, just different reasons.

Would you consider community?

Having said that- if you decide to leave then leave. You should never work somewhere that's making you sick. Most people would not consider doing the job in the first place, you did more than most!

Take care and be kind to yourself

Hi, thank you for your message.

Well done for your years of service.
I had only been qualified six months before the pandemic hit- so I didn't really get a good chance of it from the beginning. I haven't really enjoyed any of my jobs. Yes there is good days, but good days are hard to find and overpowered by many bad.

Community would be great however I live in a small rural town, my options are limited. Community jobs don't come up here often and when they do, they normally have someone lined up for it. It's difficult.

I'm struggling, with knowing what the right thing is. My head is telling me to keep going, but I know things will only get worse and I need out. My heart tells me I'm just not the person for it anymore and I'd be better off doing something else.

It's not even about the money, everyone knows people aren't nurses for the money. At this rate I just want a job that pays my bills but one that doesn't make me mentally unstable.

@covilha

So sorry about this. Try community, plenty of nurses tell me they have fallen in love with nursing again after a few weeks. Better hours too PM if you want to ask me anything.

Thank you.

I really wish I could score a job in community however due to living in a small rural town, these jobs are so hard to come by. Travelling further afield isn't an option to me due to having a young child.

It really is difficult and I'm sad to think I worked so hard to get here just for it to be thrown away.

I left after 20 years. Couldn't stick it sny more. Went over to podiatry. Same money, far less stress, 9-5 weekends and Bank Holidays off. I wish I'd done it to start with instead of nursing. Its 2 year course for ex nurses now. I love it.

I could have written your words. Apart from I have been in ITU for the last 16 years. I've never felt as undervalued, demoralised and alone as I feel now. I feel desperate to find something else, anything...but scared at the same time. Scared of the guilt, scared of walking away when times are tough. But it's not going to get any better. I feel completely stuck.

@han01uk

I could have written your words. Apart from I have been in ITU for the last 16 years. I've never felt as undervalued, demoralised and alone as I feel now. I feel desperate to find something else, anything...but scared at the same time. Scared of the guilt, scared of walking away when times are tough. But it's not going to get any better. I feel completely stuck.

This is me too. No one gets it. People say 'just leave if your miserable,' but it's the constant guilt of knowing I would be doing it. I feel lonely in this. There's no one to talk to about it. No one quite understands the feeling unless you are in it and know what it's like.

People say 'just keep at it, things will improve' - been doing it two years and it's only getting worse. How much more can one person take? It's sucking the life out of me in every form.

I feel guilt even thinking about leaving and I don't know why that is? It's a job. Why does it have such a hold over my life? Any of my friends could leave a job tomorrow they didn't like and find something else. However, I feel this has been a part of my identity. It took me around 5 years of college and uni to become this. However I'm in my twenties and I don't wanna waste my life doing something I hate.

I'm sorry to hear this OP. There have been multiple posts in the past year with nurses looking for alternative options, job roles or somewhere, where their transferable skills might be wanted- outside the NHS! You certainly aren't alone. I agree, work shouldn't be making you ill or causing stress like this. There are SO many options within nursing, along with multiple other areas, outside a traditional hospital setting where nurses are needed.

Depending on your location, interests and options, here are just some ideas:
-join a nursing agency. You might get opportunities in both private and NHS work and areas you may not have considered working in

• give covid vaccinations
• some pharmacies employ nurses for health advice/vaccinations
• telephone triage (NHS 111, private health care screening etc)
• public health or research
• occupational health? You most likely need a certificate, but any company with X amount of staff now need a nurse/medic on site (building sites etc) or for smaller companies, just occupation health input I believe
• CPR/manual handling trainer? You can do courses in teaching/training if you like this type of role?
• Nutritional and health advice. Gyms, health resorts and specialist spas might need a nurse for fitness/healthy eating advice. Again, I'd assume some certification 'might' be needed, but depends if that area might interest you?

There is a vast world outside the NHS and certainly opportunities for the amazing skills you already have

@Hairyfriend

I'm sorry to hear this OP. There have been multiple posts in the past year with nurses looking for alternative options, job roles or somewhere, where their transferable skills might be wanted- outside the NHS! You certainly aren't alone. I agree, work shouldn't be making you ill or causing stress like this. There are SO many options within nursing, along with multiple other areas, outside a traditional hospital setting where nurses are needed.

Depending on your location, interests and options, here are just some ideas:
-join a nursing agency. You might get opportunities in both private and NHS work and areas you may not have considered working in

• give covid vaccinations
• some pharmacies employ nurses for health advice/vaccinations
• telephone triage (NHS 111, private health care screening etc)
• public health or research
• occupational health? You most likely need a certificate, but any company with X amount of staff now need a nurse/medic on site (building sites etc) or for smaller companies, just occupation health input I believe
• CPR/manual handling trainer? You can do courses in teaching/training if you like this type of role?
• Nutritional and health advice. Gyms, health resorts and specialist spas might need a nurse for fitness/healthy eating advice. Again, I'd assume some certification 'might' be needed, but depends if that area might interest you?

There is a vast world outside the NHS and certainly opportunities for the amazing skills you already have

Thank you so much for this comment and taking the time to reply. All great ideas and I have applied to some related jobs over the last few weeks- however no luck as of yet.

I meant to say, that outside of nursing, what about osteopathy? I used to attend an osteopathy school as a patient and the vast majority of those there learning, were either clinicians of some sort, or even police offices/fire men/women looking for a change or career.

Osteopathy is a regulated profession, with a registered body and pin, similar to nursing. Not just an 'alternative' type therapy with no regulations. Once qualified, some rent rooms, or have their own practice, but they can set their own hours and work around childcare. The training can be full or part time, but having your anatomy and nursing behind you, would be a great advantage.

You have qualified at an incredibly tough time on so many levels. I totally hear all you say. I have been qualified 22 years, I work in A&E and have done for the last 17 years. Moral is rock bottom, the care that patients are getting is often unacceptable. It's also unsafe... I could go on but I won't.

When I first qualified I worked on a couple of wards for 2 years and I hated it. I only did it as back then you had to work 2 years on the ward before moving on. However I then went and did a stint in the community before going to A&E and I loved it! That is one option.

Another option is looking into a specialist nurse role, so infection control? Diabetes, respiratory. Often 9-5 with great prospects and you can often fine B6 or B5 posts to train up.

Sexual health? I know several ex colleagues who have moved into sexual health and they love it.

All of the above are really very different fro. Ward nursing and get you away from shift work.

Finally if you really want to leave nursing google cooperate nursing jobs. Private sector sales based type jobs or medical insurance companies should pop up.

Hope you find a solution and find the right type of work life balance and job you enjoy.

I was where you are about 6 months ago. I too qualified about 6 months before the pandemic and while I absolutely loved my job I felt exactly how you are feeling now. Run down, anxious about missing something as I was so rushed, sick of missing out on weekends with my kid and social life.

I'm now doing pgdip for SCPHN to be a Heath visitor. The assignments are gruelling but just being Monday to Friday has given me such a boost. I also feel like community feels so much nicer as you're not on a hospital ward for hours on end going stir crazy. They usually start looking around March but even some of the pp suggestions and agency work to tide you over if you really feel you cannot go back. There are also things like immunisation nursing, research, clinics.

Life is too short to feel like this. You are doing the right thing trying to look at your options

@billiebash

I was where you are about 6 months ago. I too qualified about 6 months before the pandemic and while I absolutely loved my job I felt exactly how you are feeling now. Run down, anxious about missing something as I was so rushed, sick of missing out on weekends with my kid and social life.

I'm now doing pgdip for SCPHN to be a Heath visitor. The assignments are gruelling but just being Monday to Friday has given me such a boost. I also feel like community feels so much nicer as you're not on a hospital ward for hours on end going stir crazy. They usually start looking around March but even some of the pp suggestions and agency work to tide you over if you really feel you cannot go back. There are also things like immunisation nursing, research, clinics.

Life is too short to feel like this. You are doing the right thing trying to look at your options

Thank you. Are you able to give me more details for this? Do you get funding for uni courses? I'm in scotland so maybe it's different but we got a bursary doing our degree and I was told if I did a further year course or anything, I wouldn't get funding. So would be impossible with a young child and bills to pay.

Sorry for the delay!

It works like an apprenticeship style. So they will advertise for jobs with each trust every year as student HV or specialist community public health nursing student. I don't know if Scotland is different, but you're then paid a band 5 wage until you qualify and the course is covered. You do 50% out in practice with a supervisor (a bit like as a student nurse except you stay with the same supervisor through the year) and then 50% is university and study. Let me know if you have any more questions

Fellow nurse here. So sorry to hear about what you're going through. Your mental health is taking a beating. Have you considered just taking a break for one year and doing something non-nursing? I have to admit that I have been qualified for 30 years (Omg!) and after a dalliance in the private sector went back to the wards when the Pandemic struck! The 2 years have almost done me in. I resigned on Friday and was allowed to leave without working my notice. I have been lucky and secured a post as an admissions nurse/ Auditor in a care-home. My remit is to ensure that all documentation is up to spec ready for CQC inspections. But I was also offered a job with 111 and also a GP practice. So my advice is take a break, decide what you really want to do and look around. Stop being a "bum in a seat" think about your health and your family! The hospital will still be there for years intact and functioning but your mental health may not be!!!

I left nursing after doing it for 2 years I dreaded getting up to go to work it was awful. I now work as a sen 1:1 in a primary school nursery and I’m a lot happier. Look for Nanny work that’s where I started after I left. Good luck 🤞

I qualified the same time as you, OP. I could not face wards at all, I know I'd hate it so I went straight for dream job of Practice Nursing and was lucky enough to get a job. I love it, it's varied and calm and I have one patient at a time to give my full attention to. While working in a lovely team. Lots of potential for further training and progression.
There are nice nursing jobs, honestly!

However, you absolutely should leave and do something else if you want to. The whole 'nurses are heroes/angels' attitude does us no favours as it becomes a martyr identity where nurses constantly sacrifice themselves for others. Not healthy.

Hi, I’m a nurse with 20 years experience. I worked on theatres until recently but couldn’t do the unsocial hours as childcare problems. I got a job in outpatients, too, to suit my family.
I absolutely HATE it. The team are lovely but management is dreadful, the job is shit and the stress and pressure is just awful. Most of my colleagues are off sick and I’m considering doing the same as I’m so fed up, can’t sleep, I cry all of the time, I absolutely dread going to work.
I do not get along with my manager and I feel she’s a bully and targets me and another colleague.
It’s one rule for one and one for another in our team. Anyway, I could go on forever but I wanted to say I know exactly how you feel.

I’m desperate for another job and like you I want to leave nursing. I have no other qualifications (except dental nursing) which doesn’t pay too well. I’m struggling to find something that pays like a band 5 but just not nursing

I went into education but that was after 12 years in the nhs. Don't give up your pin. You never know when you might want it again.

It depends where you are re doing the hv course op, I know gg&c, Lothian and Stirling all do it you just look at job train and apply often they do open nights although think they are now virtual so you can find out more. I’m paeds trained and at least 4 of my colleagues have done their health visiting - apply for job and you do the training on the job with uni part of the time but you’d need to check that with wherever you apply. I think you are a band 6 then 7 once qualified.

I’ve just left my ward to do Vaccs in community big change but am looking forward to it. I’m 20 years trained and only worked in one ward but just had enough. I hope whatever you choose next works out with you, you sound like you love the job just not where you are and a change would benefit you even vaccinations for a while until you decide what you’d prefer. Good luck

I’m a nurse with more than 20 years inpatient experience so completely get it.

I think the thing about nursing is we work so hard to achieve it and certainly for me, it’s become a large part of my identity.

I’m mental health so it’s slightly different but it has been a struggle for many years. I would at, if you do want to get out don’t leave it too any years as you will end up stuck by the salary as I feel I am. I’m currently top band 6 and could not get anywhere near the same money doing anything else without retraining and for me, that’s too much.

If you do consider retraining, I did briefly look in to Border force, that sounds interesting and lots of transferable skills from nursing but I guess you need to be near an airport.

Good luck, whatever you decide to do. It’s tough being a nurse💐

Similar boat OP, I'm RMN and sick of it! My job is turning me into a horrible person and I'm desperate to leave, I'm sick of the management and bitchy colleagues. I have an interview for a band 3 in mental health but not direct care and I think I need it. I want a break from the responsibilities and stresses of staff nurse and at this rate I will leave health care entirely.

Like you if I leave I will be losing my identity as an RMN and somehow feel I've failed, it's so hard isn't it?

Hi op hope you’re ok. Sorry you’re having a tough time.

I went through something similar except I was a teacher. I taught for 6 years and made myself unwell with stress but I ignored wanting to leave until I had a sort of breakdown. I pushed myself too far and ended up in a real mess. I think jobs like teaching and nursing are really hard to leave because they’re not just a job they become your identity. Like I AM a teacher not I work in teaching. I certainly had a bit of an identity crisis after leaving and didn’t really know who I was without the job, my qualifications and everything I’d worked so hard for.

The good news is you have loads of transferable skills that you could use in different sectors and roles.

I found a new job in the charity sector and I had a work life balance, felt valued, left on time and enjoyed it.

You can do this op. Don’t torture yourself for a job x

Could you look for work in private hospitals?

There's also a big shortage in higher education for nursing lecturers. HE has its own issues of course but it's a change of direction.