Leaving nursing profession for good.

[babyblueblush]

Hi,

I'm new here.

I qualified as a nurse two years ago and I have worked in wards up until recently. I found a job in an outpatients dept which has been ok and much better hours.

From my time on the wards, all I can remember is coming home most days feeling deflated, stressed, miserable and spaced out. The bullying, being undervalued, turning up for your shift with no staff and expecting to work in those conditions. It takes its toll. Shouting for help to managers but none given. Seeing patients receiving the opposite of 'good standards of care.' I just couldn't be a part of it all anymore.

Low and behold I get a new job. Two months into this job, they then tell me 'I'm not needed and I've to go back to the wards.. they can't tell me how long for- but I'm more needed there. (Which is true)

However, I'm now going back to what I dreaded the most. I can't face going to my doctor again because I'm so unwell with the stress of it all. Being up at night panicking I've missed things, worrying constantly about the registration I might lose.

So I signed myself off sick. Right now I am looking for other jobs. Any jobs. Office jobs / school jobs / anywhere that will take me.

I can't do it to myself anymore. The long hours, missing out on having a social life and also my own child's life. I'm disheartened and I'm sad, I hold a huge amount of guilt with me every day, knowing that this is how I feel and that I may finally be putting myself first. I know I need to leave, for my own mental health but why do I feel so bad about it?

I've searched high and low on here for other nurses who may be feeling the same way.. and I come across it and they all stay. They don't leave, because the guilt. I know so many of us don't enjoy our jobs- people say 'find a new job, go to a new dept' but when you do this, it's still out of your hands.

I've lost passion, I've lost motivation, I'm defeated by this degree and everything that's came with it. (Let's not even get into the dreaded c word)

I suppose I'm just looking for any sort of empathy right now that it's ok to be feeling this way, and that it's ok if I do genuinely leave.

Have you considered palliative care, OP? It's emotionally demanding, but in a different way from the wards. You'll have time to actually get to know your patients and their families. I'd see if your local hospice is recruiting.

It may sound insane, but I'd also consider A&E or ITU. I work in A&E currently. It's a pressure cooker and it's terrifying, but it lacks the cliqueyness you sometimes get on wards and there's a camaraderie that really helps.

Hi,

I don’t normal reply on post but your post speaks to me so much.
I know it’s a couple of months old but I could have written the same post nearly word for word.

I to have been qualified just over two years. I worked on wards till November when I also found an outpatients job.

Working on wards ground me down and last summer I found myself really low. I simply couldn’t do it anymore. I wanted to leave nursing completely but didn’t have the confidence to leave as I was worried what people would think and the waste of the three years training etc.

Luckily I found this outpatients job and it did saved me in some respects but deep down even here I feel like I need out of nursing my hearts not in it and even though I know the hours and work life balance are better here than the wards I still don’t feel it’s enough.

I see where I am now as a decent place to bide my time while I figure out what I want to do next. The people are nice. The job is easy but I don’t see myself being here long.
I spend ages looking at nhs jobs but honestly can’t see myself doing any nursing job after this.
I know all sectors have their issues but I kind of feel like experiencing a totally new environment. I don’t know what that is yet but I’ve tentatively looked into other industries (civil service, councils other health industries etc) just to see what’s out there.

I know my first two years of being a qualified nurse are not typical due to the pandemic and
I to have seen posts and spoken to people about other areas of nursing, but honestly the way I feel currently I think all nhs jobs will have similar issues
underneath it all. Underfunded, understaffed and low morale.

I have no advice for you but wanted to reach out to say you are not alone and thank you for writing this post so I know I’m not alone!

I left to have a baby with the intention of never going back.
In the end I wanted to stay as I feel a ‘calling’ to the job, but I’ve gone PT on the district and love it.

@Shel379 hi thank you for your reply. apologies for the name change. i thought I would give a little update. it's two months on now since I first wrote this- I have indeed left my nursing role.

I'm now 5 weeks out of nursing and I have never been more happier, stress free and enjoying life. Yes my money isn't as good, but my time is so much more important. I am now doing some work for a bank, I pick when I want to work and it's extremely flexible. I have every weekend off and my work switches off when I finish. I sleep better at nights. I am so much more 'me.' I have finally found myself again.

I look back on my time as a nurse and I can't believe how miserable I was. I am however, now looking at possibly going back to nursing in the near future however in a more community based role. I have managed to be successful in so many job interviews opportunities too in the last month, however have chose to turn a few of these down due to my circumstances and just wanting a bit of a break.

If you have any doubts, if you want a break, do it. You won't regret it. I now work 9-5 Monday to Friday and the work I do now, is so easy and stress free. I have little worries when it comes to work and I have never dreaded a day since.

I enjoy the fact I have a degree which can provide other opportunities in the future and if all is lost, it's there to fall back on.

Try community or another director for which there are plenty.

You’re sick of ward nursing but it’s not the only way to be a nurse (for context my sister and mother are nurses and said goodbye to the wards a long time ago and would never step foot on one again to work).

My sister works from home a lot and it’s worked well with her kids.

daisyflowers12 - not sure if you will see this. I could have written your post. Just to read that I'm not alone gave me some kind of relief. I'm also sorry you went through this. I'm glad you have found peace.
I qualified 6 months before the pandemic I have struggled so so much. I was off sick after 14 months and became really unwell due to stress. Lost 2 stone in 2 months and couldn't swallow (all stress related). I had every examination going as I thought there was something physically wrong with me. Then another 2 months sick last July and August due to (bullying), lack of support.
I vaccinated for a while. Not in another role. I'm still struggling mentally but can't find a way out as I'm a single parent and can't match the salary. I had 2 interviews, one in a school and one in a nursery, got the jobs but had to turn them down due to the income.
I'm wondering what you chose to do? Bank? As in nurse banking? Or an actual bank?

have you thought about looking in civil service or council jobs? The income is pretty comparable and for what I’ve heard work life balance is pretty good?
I’m currently in outpatients and don’t get me wrong it’s so much better than the wards. However I know it’s still not right, I don’t enjoy the work and still feel deep down nursing isn’t for me. I’ve been looking at civil service, council and some private companies and seriously considering the move.

Hi there. Sorry for the late reply.

I'm so sorry you have also felt like this too. It's not a nice feeling at all. You are definitely not alone. I was the same, qualified six months or so before and then right into pandemic nursing. I was taken out my area I had my job in and put into somewhere else. There was little to no support and the transition from student to nurse was not made easy.

I stuck it out in covid wards for around a year and then got moved into a different ward where I worked a further year, during this time though I was moved here, there and everywhere. I felt like I didn't have a proper base and didn't know if I was coming or going.

I applied for another job which was in outpatients and managed to get it and I worked there for around a month really enjoying it, until they told me I would need to go back to the covid wards indefinitely. This is when I left.

I got a job with my local council as a home care manager but unfortunately after a week in the job, I knew it wasn't something worth my time and I didn't like the attitude of the workplace from the start.

I now work in finance and have done for a couple months now. I'm not sure what I'll do in the future or how long I will stay here for. All I know is that I am so much happier and stress free and that's not something I will put at risk again.

@TwoAndMe Sorry I forgot to tag you.

@Shel379 Hi there, I took a job in my local council as a home care manager, however after a week in the job - I knew it was absolutely not for me and I left pretty quickly. I still look out for jobs within my local council and also NHS. However, hearing back from colleagues - I know that things will not improve there for quite some time. I just keep an eye out for what job opportunities come up and apply. I've had lots of interview experience now, I haven't been successful lately in some of the roles I have applied for but I don't let that get me down and I keep on applying and going hoping I'll find something that's right for me.

All I know is that I don't want to work in a hospital setting again. I look at my nursing degree as a learning curve, I gained great skills and knowledge from it that help me in every day life. Transferable skills that can help me in other job roles in the future. I am proud of myself for completing that degree and doing it but I feel as nurses - we feel trapped in that career forever, even if we don't enjoy it.

Plenty of my friends do degree courses, qualify and then work in a restaurant or as an admin assistant and they never actually use their degree. So I shouldn't feel bad for giving it a go and it not working out.

I think when I did my degree, had I known then what kind of a state the NHS would be in down the line, I would not have bothered but sadly we can't predict these things. I really do hope you find what is right for you and don't be scared to find other options as you should always put yourself and your happiness first.

daisyflowers12 hello :)

I just want to say how brave and lovely you sound. I want to wish you luck in your journey in finding what is meant for you. I agree, your degree is something to be very proud of indeed. So many transferable skills. A massive achievement.
Thankyou for your message and again good luck and continue to be very proud of yourself 🙂

Occupational health nursing?

I hear you! I’m also a Nurse! I too think the NHS is shot! The government doesn’t give a toss. I’ve had 2 student nurses with me recently and my advice to them both was quit!! Really do not waste your time.
I’ve got MS as well and even though I’m well the little voice inside is saying go.
my advice? Follow your heart. If you’ve had enough; you’ve had enough.

i wish you all the luck. Nursing is no longer the enjoyable profession it once was. oh and don’t forget to STRIKE!!!!!

@daisyflowers12 Came on here looking for something else but I guess it was meant to be, not sure if you'll see this as you posted so long ago, but wanted to say well done for doing g what was vest for you! I have been in this same situation left my ward in the summer after 10 years with the intention of leaving the profession but on the off chance took a gamble with 111...biggest regret, ive never felt more anxiety or stress in my life. It has definitely solidified that I no longer want to be a nurse! It has worn me down being in this career and you're right such guilt for wanting to leave. I am looking for career options outside of nursing but don't know where to start.

I also don’t know where to start!
its 8 months since I first replied to this post and I’ve literally explored/considered every nursing job that has gone on to nhs jobs during that time. I’ve applied for some and got interviews but my heart hasn’t been in it and I’ve turned the interviews down.
I still currently in outpatients which I need to get out of it’s ok and easy and the people are nice but it’s not me, ive handed in my notice and accepted a job on the a MAU just so I could go full time and still have time off on the week but now feel this is a mistake too, I’ve considered just doing nurse bank for a while (instead of going sick) just to give myself a break from the politics and give myself flexibility.
it’s not something I would want to do long term but would give me a break.

ultimately I’m still in the same place mentally as I was 8 months which tells me I need to probably try something outside of the hospital/nursing/NHS. I just don’t know where to start either. It’s been along time since I applied for a job outside of nursing.

@Shel379 I just came onto this work chat to post a thread about options after nursing. I did post a thread here a few months ago about wanting out.

I recently left my ward and started a new job working in public health. However it’s only fixed term so may end next year. I’m feeling a bit stuck at the moment because althought his job is fine, very little stress, it’s likely to end and I have no idea where to turn after that. There’s no way I can go back to wards or a care home, but equally I don’t even want to do community nursing as it’s just as bad there.

Something I considered was taking a job as a band 4 medical secretary and is still an option to me, is this something you think you could do if you can take a slight pay cut? Even if just for a while while you figure out what to do next

Have you looked into the private sector for non clinical jobs that require nurses? Like clinical trainers/ reps/ for medical products etc. they are out there. Another option that is looming larger is digital health companies. That is going to be big business in the years to come as the way everything is going. There are opportunities there for nurses.

Hello all.

@daisyflowers12 I hope all is well?!

I just wanted to post here as I know many will understand. It can be a very lonely place when you are so unhappy in your nursing role. I spoke to a former nurse about 6 months ago. She gave up her band 7 role to become a band 4 medical secretary. She mentioned the guilt and family not being 'proud' of her. It made me feel sad to hear her say this. However, it's exactly how I feel/felt. The guilt and worry is real. She said she is now happy. I told her how amazing she is and how brave she is and how glad I am that she is now happy. I remember asking myself why I couldn't say the same to myself. I actually spoke to her with envy.

Long story short. My dd has struggled with school since the pandemic and now has a reduced timetable. I have no family to help and I'm a single parent. I have had a few gynaecology appointments to attend and amongst it all hurt my back.
Just before Christmas I couldn't manage my mental health very well and was unable to go to work. I have now handed my notice in. My mum has told me it is irresponsible as i have a mortgage to pay (she has always encouraged me to stay in nursing even when i was I lost 2 stone due to stress). I was desperate. I couldn't work around my dd's timetable as my job was an hour away and my dd's timetable is half day. Im trying very hard to support my dd and manage my physical health. I couldn't cope. The last straw was when I bumped my car. My head was all over the place. It is a very lonely place when you have noone to talk to or no-one to support you.
I'm searching for a job at the moment. I have an opportunity to work on a ward on the nurse bank but I can't explain the anxiety of that thought. I don't know what I'm going to do. All I know is for this short space of time, the relief knowing I'm not going back to my nursing role is huge. I just know in reality I need to find something fast As I now have no income and all I hear is my mums voice telling me I'm irresponsible.
I hope you all find peace and do what is right for YOU!

Hi
I'm wondering what you decided to do and if you moved on. I'm in a similar predicament and have run a nursing home unit for 15yrs, being qualified for 31yrs. Following C and the continuous return of it, I'm stressed out completely and feeling tight chested daily. Managers telling nurses to be firmer with staff, care staff basically running the place and reporting nurses if we tell them. I can't win. I need to get out, desperately, but have bills that still need paying. I can't afford to just take a pay cut and working 48hr weeks pays well. Any suggestions? Thank you and hope you survived the rat race.

Are you OK? Hope your mental wellbeing has improved and you no longer feel guilty for choosing what was right for you.

Hello,
I really connected with your story as leaving nursing is a hugely complex thing as this thread shows! I'm so glad that you made your decision, and feel much happier now. I left to move into teaching as I was becoming more and more dissatisfied with the role in acute care. I have never looked back.

One of the other reasons this caught my eye, is that I am aware of a research study that is asking people like you to "tell your story" about leaving nursing in their early career, with the aim of raising awareness of the situation. There is so much information about why people intend to leave, but not much about the experience of actually leaving, and exactly why people decide to leave.
It might not be right time for you know, you probably need time to breath! But if you are interested I could share the info about the study.

Wow, I was on this thread 2 years ago and I was disillusioned then🤪 I got a promotion since then and I’m even more unhappy now😩🫣
I am planning to leave substantive work and just do bank in a year or so! I miss direct patient care, I’m a manager now so feel like I have lost the meaning of my job really.

I hope other unhappy nurses from this thread have been braver and more proactive than me!

Sorry to hear that @DontKeepTheFaith - I hope you find the right role for you soon, or that things improve... I was totally disillusioned by my Band 6 post back in the day (my Band 7 was amazing, but there were some terrible attitudes and behaviors around the place - mostly from higher up management). There was a lack of autonomy at ward level and very little consultation, it really put me off progressing up the tree in the NHS. I'm now in education/research and outside of the NHS feels better to me right now.

Hi what happened to the original poster?
Just curious xxx