Asking for an extended lunch break

[FreshandLively]

I am currently on sick leave after a bereavement. I thought in was doing OK for six months and then in the run up to Christmas everything came crashing down.

I'm due back next week and have a meeting with my (very reasonable and supportive) boss to discuss a phased return.

The thing that has helped me most during my time off is getting out for a decent walk every day. Time with nature, fresh air and exercise and I think most importantly, time for reflection. I spend a lot of it taking to myself, almost being my own counsellor.

I work on the business side in a large school. Senior post. I have a 30 min unpaid lunch break which I rarely take in common with all the other admin staff.

I was thinking about asking for an hour, as part of the phased return, so I can get out during daylight. There are woods about 10 mins from school so I can have a really nice walk in an hour, but barely make it there and back in half an hour.

• As it's a phased return would you expect to be paid for it or take the additional 30 mins unpaid? Or to have to do a longer day to make it up?

-Is it a reasonable request? My workload can easily be managed around it but many of my team wouldn't be able to do the same. Reception staff for example and none of the classroom based staff. How would you feel if your boss was going of for a long lunch break when you couldn't?

I'm almost sure boss would agree, but don't want to cause bad feeling with the team.

Just do it. It sounds like you need it and that's the point of a phased return. Look after yourself or you will need longer sick leave anyway.

@FreshandLively

Sorry I misread that. A longer working day would be a strange phased return

But it's not really a longer working day. You're still working the same hours just taking a longer break in the middle

Don’t get these responses. Surely it’s better then you being off sick for longer? Management will be supportive.
Do it!

I don't think I realised before this thread that phased returns are relatively rare. They've always been the norm where I've worked with whatever working patterns work best for the person (often but not always based on medical advice). It's never been considered unusual or taking the piss at all.

Being honest of I was your colleague it would depend on the nature of the bereavement whether I would be sympathetic or not to the extra lunch time?

I'm surprised at the lack of understanding on this thread. I also had a phased return to work (also in a school) after my husband died, and it's a perfectly sensible and standard approach. Mine was potentiallymuch more difficult to manage (2, 3 then 4 day week before returning ft) but there was no problem or resentment that I was aware of.

It's down to your manager to ensure that the arrangement is communicated to your colleagues effectively. If you can trust your boss to make it clear that this is an entitlement that they are totally on board with, and that represents management being empathetic to their staff (which might benefit your colleagues one day) and that is in place to ensure that your return is successful (which is presumably what the office staff want, if they're under pressure without you) that's key.

To be honest, as phased returns go, yours is pretty minimal, disruption-wise! They should be grateful!

If anyone gives you any grief and asks why they don't get an hour, simply say they can, but they have to lose a loved one too.

Seriously, you'd have to be a first class bitch to resent someone getting an extra half hour break for a couple of weeks after bereavement leave.

@bonetiredwithtwins

Being honest of I was your colleague it would depend on the nature of the bereavement whether I would be sympathetic or not to the extra lunch time?

Given that the boss is being extremely supportive, I doubt that it's OP's auntie's neighbour's dog that's died.

Lots of posters on this site are argumentative for the sake of it and have jealousy issues that would embarrass a toddler when it comes to other people getting anything they don't have.

I don't work in public sector so our sick pay and support are less generous. Even so, I have had colleagues with all kind of reasonable adjustments and phased return arrangements - a slightly longer lunchbreak in the context of reduced hours would barely register.

It would not occur to me to begrudge anyone their phased return arrangements/ reasonable adjustments and I have never seen anybody else cause anyone hassle for it either.

I think it makes perfect sense that somebody working shorter days on a phased return would also a) take their lunchbreak when previously they didn't and b) have a slightly longer lunchbreak. It is entirely consistent with the goals of phasing someone back into work gently and carefully.

I assume you work with ordinary decent human beings. I really cannot see this causing any issues.

Being honest of I was your colleague it would depend on the nature of the bereavement whether I would be sympathetic or not to the extra lunch time?
Fucking hell.

@bonetiredwithtwins

Being honest of I was your colleague it would depend on the nature of the bereavement whether I would be sympathetic or not to the extra lunch time?

You sound lovely

So what kind of bereavement passes your definition of bad enough to be sympathetic to an extra lunch time?

If OP was taking the piss and it was her hairdresser’s neighbour’s aunt’s cat that died presumably a doctor would not have signed her off and her manager would not be as supportive.

You can never know someone’s personal circumstances eg you might say an aunt dying is less upsetting than a mother, but what if your relationship with your mother was nonexistent or strained and your aunt was more like a mother? Even just a pet death can be extremely upsetting if someone relies on said pet a lot for support and doesn’t have much support elsewhere in their life.

It’s unlikely you’d know such details about your colleagues so probably better to not judge.

I think it's a reasonable request, OP, and as a manager, I would be happy to accommodate it for a limited period. You would have the choice as to whether to record it as sickness absence or annual leave.

If you were suffering from a gastrointestinal disorder which meant you needed to spend an additional 30 minutes in the toilets after lunch, or from a fatigue related issue which necessitated a 45 minute nap in the middle of the day, this would surely be a reasonable adjustment and accommodated.

But because it’s mental health people can’t understand that you’ve found something which helps and which would enable you to return to work? Bizarre.

It’s a mental health break as part of a phased return to work. In a very few weeks’ time, there will be enough daylight for you to be able to take that break at the end of the day. But for now there isn’t, and getting out for a stomp is what you need in order to process the morning and prepare for the afternoon. Your boss is supportive, so go for it.

I find some of these responses really strange.

Some posters would rather you took a half day than an extra half hour lunch? Because they can't take extra lunch? But they can't take the half day either?
Do they not understand what phased return to work can entail?

Also the posters who think you should start earlier to make up the time?

OP it sounds like your boss is incredibly supportive and hopefully your colleagues will be too (like 'normal' people would be / not MN)

Sorry for your loss and I hope your phased return works out well for you

I think it sounds like a very reasonable request.
As is evident from this thread some colleagues may take issue, they may not, you know them best. But it's not your issue to manage, nor is it their business why you have a longer lunch break, your line manager can deal with any comments from them.

We have someone on a phased return after bereavement who is greatly reduced, non shift work hours. Literally no one has an issue with it because decent people aren't 'jealous' of a college who requires reasonable adjustments to return to work following a life changing event.

I hope your return to work helps you. Good luck

I think people are confusing 'phased return' with 'flexible working', that are not the same thing and apply to different circumstances

*they

If I were your colleague I’d be happy you were being treated well and allowed to do something that helped you at a difficult time and I’d hope that if I ever needed similar or different accommodations that I’d be able to arrange that too. I wouldn’t resent it if I never did need similar

@Throwntothewolves

I think people are confusing 'phased return' with 'flexible working', that are not the same thing and apply to different circumstances

I actually don’t think they are.....some people are just selfish and jealous by nature.....think someone’s getting something that they’re not🙄

At our workplace I handle these requests and would think this perfectly reasonable.

I'd be having strong words about kindness and empathy with anyone who made things any harder for you than they needed to be.

I think the request is very reasonable and would accommodate it for any of my team. Working in a similar environment though I'd worry that being in the middle of the day the time would get eaten into with tasks that crop up or meetings that run over, various unexpected crises that occur. Leaving an hour early or starting an hour late and still having your 30 minute break might work better in that respect.
Also don't push yourself to return if you're not ready it could set you back further

Could you ask your GP to write a fit for work note that recimmends certain reasonable adjustments for your wellbeing, such as an extended lunc break?