Asking for an extended lunch break

[FreshandLively]

I am currently on sick leave after a bereavement. I thought in was doing OK for six months and then in the run up to Christmas everything came crashing down.

I'm due back next week and have a meeting with my (very reasonable and supportive) boss to discuss a phased return.

The thing that has helped me most during my time off is getting out for a decent walk every day. Time with nature, fresh air and exercise and I think most importantly, time for reflection. I spend a lot of it taking to myself, almost being my own counsellor.

I work on the business side in a large school. Senior post. I have a 30 min unpaid lunch break which I rarely take in common with all the other admin staff.

I was thinking about asking for an hour, as part of the phased return, so I can get out during daylight. There are woods about 10 mins from school so I can have a really nice walk in an hour, but barely make it there and back in half an hour.

• As it's a phased return would you expect to be paid for it or take the additional 30 mins unpaid? Or to have to do a longer day to make it up?

-Is it a reasonable request? My workload can easily be managed around it but many of my team wouldn't be able to do the same. Reception staff for example and none of the classroom based staff. How would you feel if your boss was going of for a long lunch break when you couldn't?

I'm almost sure boss would agree, but don't want to cause bad feeling with the team.

Could you start an hour later so you get some daylight?

I've worked in enough schools to know people we likely to be unhappy with it, as there's always a strong sense of fairness and a noisy colleague usually.

It's not your colleagues decision. If you wanted to, you could ask that it be communicated to your colleagues requesting their understanding and patience.

Could you have an hour long break for 1-2 weeks, then 45 mins for the next 1-2 weeks then back to full time or whatever your normal working hours are.

Or go 60 mins, 50 mins 40 mins over 6 weeks.
Obviously you'll review how you're getting on as you progress.

Then you'll have a phased return over 4/6 weeks, which is quite usual in my experience.

Perhaps a couple of times a week?

People will be unhappy. But how much that bothers you depends on how much you feel you need it.

Maybe better to give your receptionist / admin team the opportunity as well by arranging cover so you all benefit.

You can always ask, but no guarantee is will be agreed to.

I'm confused though. Have you been off for 6mths or 3mths? Or you returned to work last year and all was ok for 6mths, now a setback and needing to re-phasing back once again???

I would have thought that half an hour would be enough for some fresh air in winter.

If you rarely take the half hour would you not be better starting off with taking that consistently?

I would ask. I did shorter days for a month (10-4) after dd1 died and just said I couldn’t cope with the full days/ travelling into London in rush hour. I would be prepared to take the extra time at the beginning or end of the day if your boss thinks that would be better for the team as a whole though.

It wouldn’t occur to me to be envious either. However if you’re anxious about your colleagues disagreeing with this, won’t this anxiety impact you negatively (as an anxious person I can imagine myself perceiving negative reactions that might not be there in reality). In which case, perhaps a shorter day or a half day would be better than a long lunch break - as it’s cleaner and removes the element of a longer lunch break? If you’re paid for yeh hours anyway perhaps 1/2 or 2/3 days would be better.

You should request it.
I went through similar when I returned to work after a completely shocking and quite frankly earth shattering bereavement. I hated having to request help in transitioning back to work but I knew if I didnt do something the wheels would come off and I wouldn't be able to cope at all.

Similarly I need a walk in nature at lunch talking to myself and head to the woodlands near work - the benefit to my mental health while trying to get my head around what happened has been immeasurable. And the knock on effect is when I'm in work, then I'm performing much better. So overall the bit of leeway and understanding has been a win win all round.

With regards others being envious - I realised quickly there is a reason for the phrase 'nobody died' because when somebody does die and you are faced with earth shattering grief, you realise people should be cut some slack in the situation. And for me, if anyone wanted to kick up about it because they didn't understand, well lucky them to not be in the truly dire situation I was trying to manage while trying to get back to work.

But I suppose some people lack empathy and kindness and don't understand there is a real reason the person needs a bit of a helping hand to get back up and running in work.
Mind yourself anyways - the power of nature has helped me so much in my grief.

I would be very suppotive of a colleague on a phased return to work who wanted to do this.

As you say your work can be managed around it, so that's not an issue.

One thing I've found is that going earlier for lunch, (when I've needed extra time to do something) so you start back at the same time as everyone else raises less eyebrows, than if you saunter in half an hour later.

@Hairyfriend

You can always ask, but no guarantee is will be agreed to.

I'm confused though. Have you been off for 6mths or 3mths? Or you returned to work last year and all was ok for 6mths, now a setback and needing to re-phasing back once again???

I had 2 weeks compassionate leave at the time of the death, but nothing else until mid December. I've been off 2 months including Christmas holidays, so 5 weeks away from work.

@user1493494961

I would have thought that half an hour would be enough for some fresh air in winter.

It's not just about fresh air, it's about time out to reflect and it takes 10 mins to get to the woods. Being in nature makes a big difference too.

It's very reasonable, that's what a phased return is all about but I would think 1 or 2 weeks max is reasonable, anything more becomes flexible working rather than phased.

Is it anyone's business what hours/pay/etc you use /take for a phased return. The important thing is you get well and return in the long term.

I would suggest you insist that your boss circulates along the lines that 'FreshandLively is aiming to start back on (date) with reduced hours and a phased return to full time working. '

Covers it really, nobody should question.

I think your request is totally reasonable. I hope your recovery continues.

It's very interesting how some see it as entirely reasonable and sensible but many would hate their colleagues to be given this help.

Wouldn’t it be fairer on your colleagues if you came back part time as part of your phased return instead?

Asking for an extra paid half hour every day is taking the piss. I do remember how hard the return to work was after a bereavement, but I think the biggest thing that helped was the full support of my colleagues so I wouldn’t want to jeopardise that by putting them in an unfair position.

@LethargicActress

Wouldn’t it be fairer on your colleagues if you came back part time as part of your phased return instead?

Asking for an extra paid half hour every day is taking the piss. I do remember how hard the return to work was after a bereavement, but I think the biggest thing that helped was the full support of my colleagues so I wouldn’t want to jeopardise that by putting them in an unfair position.

Why? My hours will have no impact on them at all and working PT would mean I was there much less than having an extra 30min lunch break. It's not forever, just during the phased return.

That’s an odd interpretation of posters’ views, OP (‘would hate their colleagues to be given this help’).

Presumably your employer will suggest and consider short term ‘adjustments’ to help you, taking into account your and other team members’ needs and wishes, and business needs. For example at my DH’s work early mornings are a peak time for workload so they need cover then.

@Dozer

That’s an odd interpretation of posters’ views, OP (‘would hate their colleagues to be given this help’).

Presumably your employer will suggest and consider short term ‘adjustments’ to help you, taking into account your and other team members’ needs and wishes, and business needs. For example at my DH’s work early mornings are a peak time for workload so they need cover then.

Asking for an extra paid half hour every day is taking the piss.

I think if my colleague had been off because of a bereavement I would understand their need for and use of additional time and not begrudge it – your colleagues will know you’re on phased return and why you were off. They don’t need to know specifically that you’re spending some of your time having a nice lunchtime walk. I would ask.

Different situation but I had a phased return from sick leave once which included specific requirements around lunch breaks. It wasn't a big deal at all. People have all sorts of phased returns and surely it's better to be back at work in some capacity than not at all? Isn't that the point of a phased return?

Maybe it would be better for all if you do a continuous block of time, long enough to cover the other staff being off for lunch, then finish at (say) 2 for the day. Long walk through the woods before going home.