I can't speak during Teams meetings

[muteonteams]

I really, really struggle to speak up on Teams meetings. I joined my company 3 months ago, have seen them all a few times in the office but not for a few months. I really struggle during our Teams meetings.

I'm fine when I have a purpose to what I'm going to say. For example, when I get asked about the status of my project. I blush and can hear my heart beat in my ears but I can manage it. But when it's one of those brain storming meetings where everyone jumps in with ideas I just cannot summon up the courage to speak. I feel like my ideas are worthless and not worth saying. I get fully in fight-flight mode and I end up not even being able to concentrate on the meeting. I'm better when I'm off-camera as I take notes of what everyone's saying, purely to keep me focussed on the meeting rather than worrying about what to say.

I find it much easier to have in-person meetings. I hate Teams.

I've had really great feedback on my actual work, and I know that this will hold me back from promotions.

I feel so disappointed in myself.

I’m sure many people feel like you. Do you have to have your camera on? You could blame your internet and turn it off (people quite often do that) so it’s just audio. And do you know what the brain storming session will be on ahead of time? Then you could make some bullet point notes to have by the computer to refer to and encourage you to speak up confidently?

Pretend to take notes so you don't look at anyone and have some actual notes about your job / project to refer to. I have a meeting this week and have a few bullet points, it would be much harder to talk off the top of my head about numbers, retention etc.

Do you have to speak? Can you put your points in the chat instead, and then you might feel more comfortable if you need to follow up on them.

Speak to your manager and tell them that you struggle. Ask for maybe practice calls or ask to sit in on other teams calls.

What's to stop you taking notes when your camera is on? I do this, purely to give myself an activity to do. As you say, it keeps me focussed.

Just pick one person that's friendly on screen and talk to them until you get your confidence up

Are you like this if the meeting is in person? Or just when you're on camera?

IMO Teams/zoom etc are rubbish in comparison with in person meetings. And this applies to all sorts of different contexts. There are lots of reasons for this, but whatever is claimed nothing will ever convince me that remote online meetings are a decent substitute for face to face. You have my sympathies OP.

I'm the same op, I think it's because all those faces staring at you, it's like you're on stage. Even though they're all separate. I hate in-person meetings too but at least you can convey your meaning with subtle body language etc so it's easier for others to 'get' what you're trying to say.

I also get really anxious about the state of my office! I have it on blurred but still.. regrets painting wall hot pink Everyone else seems to have sensible -boring-- grey or white walls. I get anxious as to what they're thinking about mine!

boring

Use MS Notes to type up notes, have that on the screen so when you are talking you are looking at that and can’t see the faces that you are talking to. I often have something up (multitasking while on a call) and it works.

I use the raise hand function

Type it in the chat

@Stopsnowing I was going to suggest that.. it saves the awkward interrupting aspect of talking on teams

I think you need to tell the organiser of the meeting ahead of time and tell them that you really are willing to contribute, so while you work in it you will type in chat.

I'm like this too OP. Even when I have something to say I just freeze.

So what I do is to move away from the teams call probably go to a browser or another page some while the call is still On so I don't see any faces and get cold feet if I have to talk but they can see me

Or better still start by typing in the chat box

I'm the exact same, it's awful. I literally never say anything.

Loads of people hate talking in meetings - not just on Teams. But, I'd turn your camera off if you can (say your connection can't cope if you use video), use the chat for comments and the raise hand option. I think it's easier for lots of people than F2F because of the chat function but clearly not the case for everyone. The other technique to get over speaking-up-in-meetings-nerves is to say something/anything early on. Don't think your contribution has to be ground-breaking either, it can just be simple thoughts and ideas. I bet you don't think anyone else's ideas are "worthless" (and if they are, so what?).

I'd love to be looking at a hot pink wall - far more interesting.

Teams/zoom meetings suck. A total necessary evil. We have a particularly fun governance one monthly which is a) tedious as hell and b) 3.5 hours long!!

Don’t look at the cameras. Switch yours so you can’t see yourself. I then minimise the whole thing so I can hear but can’t see people. That way I can chat and answer. It’s like being in a stage show! Or like watching yourself in a mirror. It’s awful

Yeah I'm the same. I somehow end up lying about stuff, or mentioning stuff I told myself beforehand expressively NOT to mention

Use the raise hand function & put your screen onto something else op so you just have to listen to them not look at them all.

You can also add comments in the chat area. With links.

I had the meeting from Hell today with my managers :(

I have weekly meetings with my managers, and I stumbled over my words and was bright red. I couldn't even form basic sentences, it was awful. The worst meeting I've ever had, seems my shyness has gotten even worse over the Christmas break somehow

I think you have social anxiety disorder related to performance. CBT would help. Good luck.

patient.info/mental-health/anxiety/social-anxiety-disorder