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Original poster

Working notice in a hostile environment

48 replies

onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:11

Hi
I'm currently working out my 3 month notice period. I've been in post just over a year and haven't had an easy time. This week I was asked to join part of a meeting to review my role. I was asked to present how it's been for me. I was honest including about difficult relationships with my line manager and a department head, I backed up my comments with examples and data. It was a terrible meeting. I was told my recollections differ to theirs and no changes will be made following my feedback.

I am now in the situation where I have to work 2 1/2 months notice with these people. My line manager already struggles to speak to me, she actually can't look at me. I don't quite know how I'm supposed to do this. I was honest because there are real problems within the organisation and I don't want anyone else to be in the position I have been in. I feel I have fully exposed myself for no benefit and as a result I am now in a worse position.
Any advice on how I proceed?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 20/11/2021 10:26

Honestly how did you think it was going to go when you presented that? This was always going to be the outcome.

I really can’t get my head round why you went in there, gave examples of why they made it difficult and thought they’d be all thanks for showing us the light

You’re just going to have to crack on Or ask to leave early.

WheatlandTerrier · 20/11/2021 10:28

Go on the sick?

Animood · 20/11/2021 10:32

Do you have another job to go to? Could you negotiate a start date with them that is sooner, and then ask your current work if you could leave early (something tells me they will say yes).

If this isn't possible obv you're not going to leave your current role because you'll miss out of money.

Could you just keep your head down? It's not for that long really? Do you have wfh you could use to avoid them?

What are they actually doing?

Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:34

I was strongly encouraged to be honest. I'm the 3rd person they have list from this role so I was told they needed to hear honest feedback. I didn't really say anything I hadn't already said to my line manager.

I'm also worried for my team and the service users. It's a professional organisation so I guess I expected a professional response.

OP posts:
AChickenCalledDaal · 20/11/2021 10:37

I guess you keep your head down, do the minimum that will get you safely through the day, and keep in mind that you have clear confirmation that you're doing the right thing by leaving.

And obviously take as much annual leave as you are entitled to.

Animood · 20/11/2021 10:37

Also learn from this!!!

There is no point in laying out grievances when you're leaving.

Whenever I leave a job I just say "I've found an exciting new opportunity and thanks for everything here." And leave it at that.

I have also said "I'm leaving because they're paying me significantly more" in the past. But that's not personal is it? It's just the salary amount. And I think the HR woman understood because it was literally double my pay! So I think that was fine to say.

AChickenCalledDaal · 20/11/2021 10:38

And if things escalate, keep practising saying "you asked me to be honest".

Animood · 20/11/2021 10:38

@onemoredayplease

I was strongly encouraged to be honest. I'm the 3rd person they have list from this role so I was told they needed to hear honest feedback. I didn't really say anything I hadn't already said to my line manager.

I'm also worried for my team and the service users. It's a professional organisation so I guess I expected a professional response.

So what are they actually doing that's hostile other than not making eye contact?

Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:38

I'm undermined, other departments go around decisions I make if they don't like them. This isn't challenged. I'm really experienced in what I do but this is challenged by people who have no experience in my role...again not picked up. Colleague constantly needling away... acknowledged by line manager but not picked up. I could go on.
They are clear they expect me to work my full notice. No chance of an early finish.
Yes I have another job to go to.

OP posts:
Animood · 20/11/2021 10:41

Have you asked them about leaving sooner? Tbh it doesn't sound like either of you particularly want this to go on any longer!

I think you need to try and take a step back. So what if other departments go around your decision? You don't work there any more! Why do you care?

Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:42

Not able to work from home at all I'm afraid.

OP posts:
Slobberstops · 20/11/2021 10:44

Smile and do Rabat’s needed and go home. Job done. Don’t care - you have literally done everything you could have.

Slobberstops · 20/11/2021 10:45

No idea who Rabat is… do what is needed…

Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:45

I'm going to have to step back from Monday and accept that decisions are going to be made which I don't agree with.
My current plan is to focus on service users and my immediate team, everything else I will have to let go. Head down and try to get through it as best I can.

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 10:47

Lesson learned as another poster said. When they say they want to learn and want feedback ignore! I've put myself out there and it's achieved nothing.

OP posts:
Animood · 20/11/2021 10:52

@onemoredayplease

Sounds like a really good plan.

Why don't you make mental a list of basic tasks you must do and your personal priorities (service user - related tasks). Stick to them in the next 2.5 months.

Have you heard about grey rock? Maybe you could employ this with tricky managers and colleagues. Have a search on YouTube.

It will be fine I promise!

maffhew · 20/11/2021 10:55

*There is no point in laying out grievances when you're leaving.

Whenever I leave a job I just say "I've found an exciting new opportunity and thanks for everything here." And leave it at that.*

I don't agree with this at all.

I left a job in the NHS as I was being bullied and my line manager was useless in tackling her and so when I left I told them exactly why. Every detail.

There was no way I was going to pretend everything was fine and I had just found a sparkly new job. People repeatedly get away with bad behaviour when it's never challenged.

I was lucky though I could go on the sick with full pay for my notice period, is this an option for you?

Animood · 20/11/2021 10:57

@maffhew

*There is no point in laying out grievances when you're leaving.

Whenever I leave a job I just say "I've found an exciting new opportunity and thanks for everything here." And leave it at that.*

I don't agree with this at all.

I left a job in the NHS as I was being bullied and my line manager was useless in tackling her and so when I left I told them exactly why. Every detail.

There was no way I was going to pretend everything was fine and I had just found a sparkly new job. People repeatedly get away with bad behaviour when it's never challenged.

I was lucky though I could go on the sick with full pay for my notice period, is this an option for you?

Did anything actually change?

Really interested to hear actually because it's always been my policy to say nothing, but more than happy to reconsider if complaining in an exit interview actually has any results!

I always though exit interviews resulted in no changes. Just my experience so far!

Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 11:00

Similar situation which is why I gave them what they assured me they both wanted and needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 11:01

As in service supporting vulnerable people

OP posts:
Original poster
onemoredayplease · 20/11/2021 11:02

I will look up grey rock. I've heard it mentioned before. I just need a few tools to fall back on. This isn't going to be easy.

OP posts:
maffhew · 20/11/2021 11:12

@Animood I have no idea, however it was cathartic to lay out everything to management after months of being bullied and made to feel crap, to sling some mud her way.

I only spoke up though when I was sure I wouldn't be returning and the door was firmly shut!

Animood · 20/11/2021 11:15

[quote maffhew]@Animood I have no idea, however it was cathartic to lay out everything to management after months of being bullied and made to feel crap, to sling some mud her way.

I only spoke up though when I was sure I wouldn't be returning and the door was firmly shut! [/quote]
So glad you found this cathartic! In principle you're absolutely right- why should they get away with it?

If you're going for the "lay it all out" approach, I think that's fine provided: you don't need a reference; and you're unlikely to encounter them in future roles (some industries are v small).

Also, crucially, do it on your last day / at least in the last week! Not with 2.5 months to go!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 20/11/2021 11:36

It's only 2.5 months. I just managed similar with manager barely speaking to me.

Play it straight down the line. Don't engage in any nonsense. Do the basics you need to do to cover your job. You are on your way. These people will be in your past very soon.

RecentYears · 20/11/2021 11:40

@Bluntness100

Honestly how did you think it was going to go when you presented that? This was always going to be the outcome.

I really can’t get my head round why you went in there, gave examples of why they made it difficult and thought they’d be all thanks for showing us the light

You’re just going to have to crack on Or ask to leave early.

They asked. If they're halfway decent managers they would have been asking because they genuinely wanted to know so they could make improvements.

OP, I wouldn't have done it when I was younger and more driven, but now I'd be seriously considering a doctors note to cover your notice.

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