Bad performance review - need help

[YoureTheTop]

I've had a performance review after my probationary period.
My prob. period has been extended but I need help from you lovely MNers please.

My boss is a bit arrogant. I can't suggest anything to him. He humiliated me in a meeting.

There's not a lot I can do about that, but I feel I was given inadequate direction and support in what is effectively a new field for me.
I was told to arrange meetings but people didn't respond or if they did they declined. This was 'my fault'. These people are male and have 'big jobs' and are far too busy to bother with me. The women seem to be a delight to work with.

I feel that no matter what I did it wouldn't be good enough.

I have a specialised role that is a bit niche, and this position would add to my CV, so it's worth persevering with, but I can't see it improving if it is only me making an effort. He told me that he too was a (my job title) but he isn't. That in itself isn't an issue, but it does indicate that he does not value my skill set.

The only way I can see of improving things is if I get my confidence back, and the best way of doing that would be if I felt that I had some chance of achieving a goal, not to find that the brief and the actual expectation were not the same.

How do I add something to the form without totally screwing things up?

What I want to add is along the lines of ' I feel that Boss and I need to find a way of using my strengths in this position, and currently I feel that there has been too much focus on what isn't particularly in my nature. '

@YoureTheTop

This morning I put on my teflon pants and decided to accept that people are the way they are and to just go with it and so far so good.

We had a meeting this morning and I got a 'What you sent me is not adequate' and you need to return the form to me.
With my new backbone I said I;ve sent you the form but nothing else as I am still working on it.

Meeting went OK after that and I have some defined tasks that I actually know what is needed.,

…either I misunderstood what you’ve said, or I don’t understand why you are thinking this is an improvement? Your response to being told your work is inadequate is not a choice between (a) start complaining it’s literally impossible or (b) “just go with it” and accept its inadequate. The correct way of dealing with this is (ideally not do inadequate work) or at least say immediately that you apologise for it not being up to scratch and then set out a plan to make it right.

You seem to think it’s a choice between (a) comparing its other peoples’ fault the work isn’t done or (b) just accepting it’s not done. You’re going to fail probation with either approach.

We had a meeting this morning and I got a 'What you sent me is not adequate' and you need to return the form to me.
With my new backbone I said I;ve sent you the form but nothing else as I am still working on it.

As a manager i wouldn't be impressed to hear that exchange.

I'm afraid, having read this thread , i would be looking at finding a new job OP -i'd be very surprised if you pass your probation.

It sounds like your manager wants someone to come in and solve problems, and is fairly outcome driven, and you're either not able to do that effectively, or your ways of working haven't got up to speed quickly enough.

It doesn't matter why this has happened (maybe they didn't realise they needed someone more of a people/stakeholder manager, someone with more credibility or a driver /change agent to bring people along the journey).. but it has.

I must admit as a manager who has had a handful of staff over the years who have previously come to me with all sorts of problems,, which are never go getters who try and solve the problems first, get all defensive - these employees are EXHAUSTING to manage, and your posts here have sent my manager senses tingling, you're not suited to the role and you might have transferrable skills which are better suited elsewhere.

Yes, it sounds like your manager doesn’t value your work / approach and is angling to fire you. If you have less than 2 years’ service you’d have little recourse. Would do the things he’s asked and job seek.

You’re being incredibly passive in your work and towards the end of this thread passive aggressive with posters. Not a good combination.

If you need something from someone else you need to follow up repeatedly till you get what you need. Sending one email, followed by a call and documenting this is not even close to sufficient.

You’re being incredibly passive in your work and towards the end of this thread passive aggressive with posters. Not a good combination.
Not true.

If you need something from someone else you need to follow up repeatedly till you get what you need. Sending one email, followed by a call and documenting this is not even close to sufficient.
Short of tapping them on the shoulder and waving a document in their face, not sure what I could do. Not easy if they are WFH or on annual leave.

Seriously, at this point just start applying for other jobs.

Your absolute lack of insight and denial into what has gone wrong in this role makes it pretty obvious this is now unsalvageable. When someone fails probation but gets a second chance, it's pretty common for that second chance to withdrawn unless there is evidence of swift improvement. You've gone in making it clear you've learnt zilch from failing probation and are just doubling down on passivity and refusing to do your job.

Jesus OP, the lack of support and smug criticism on here is astounding!!

I started a role in an incredibly competitive industry a decade ago. There was apparently a waiting list of people waiting to work for them as they were such a COOL company.

I too had an extended probationary period as I, like you, felt that everyone wanted me to fail - they did!

After a few months I grew a thicker skin and ended up being a favourite for many years (before I went freelance and doubled my salary).

These people so want you to fail (I bet it's a massive corporate). Once you've realised that, I think your confidence will actually grow rather than diminish!

Couple of thoughts:

1. See if you can go on training for influencing skills (and possibly assertiveness).
2. Make sure you are being very clear in your communications with stakeholders about the purpose of this work, what it affects (and the consequences if it isn't complete). You need to get people to see how it fits in the bigger picture, and to start caring about it.
3. Ask your boss to quickly take you through all the key stakeholders - who they are, what their role is, and what their priorities are. If you are completely new to this company, you need a briefing on that so you can leverage it to build relationships.
4. Network like mad. Start by asking things like "who's the best person to talk to about X" and "who keeps everything going and knows all the ways this team operates". If you are lucky, there will be a crash-hot project coordinator or exec assistant who can get you quickly up to speed on who's who, and critically which people are good alternatives if you can't reach person A
5. Update your boss a LOT more regularly about progress and activity. I would be unimpressed to get to a meeting and hear someone hadn't done something. Work on the basis of over-informing them (until they beg for mercy and also set out a clear reporting schedule so they know when they will get updates from you).

Thanks @Ticksallboxes, some of the pp are basically saying 'You're crap', which I'm not.

Yes, big old corporation. Pale stale male. I have previously worked for a new dept in it and got glowing reviews. Very different environment.

Thanks @MutteringDarkly, will cut&paste & apply.

You’re being incredibly passive in your work and towards the end of this thread passive aggressive with posters. Not a good combination

Not true

Your lack of self awareness is astounding. Start looking for new jobs, this one is not going to work for you .

@Thanks Pegasus, do you think I could get another job?

If I did I'd only end up in the same position I suppose.

I can almost guarantee OP that the most complacent and critical PPs all work in public sector jobs where it's literally impossible to get made redundant.

Hold on to the fact that you got glowing reviews in your previous role - that's all any of us have going forwards, but it usually works!

Rooting for you!!

@YoureTheTop

You’re being incredibly passive in your work and towards the end of this thread passive aggressive with posters. Not a good combination. Not true.

If you need something from someone else you need to follow up repeatedly till you get what you need. Sending one email, followed by a call and documenting this is not even close to sufficient.
Short of tapping them on the shoulder and waving a document in their face, not sure what I could do. Not easy if they are WFH or on annual leave.

Taking you literally that you're unsure of how to chase harder than an email and a call here is what I consider standard chasing of non-responders. First email: Hi. Can you please....?

Second email sent forwarding the first: Hi. Can you please do x? My deadline is y so it would be great if you could get it done by z.

Phone call/vm: Hi I wanted to touch base to see how you're getting on/needing any help. Remember I need it for z date.

Third email forwarding your now established chain and cc'ing the most relevant manager: Hi x. I haven't had any feedback to my requests below. As mentioned when I called on xx, it's important that I have this asap. Please let me know when I can expect it.

If that fails then email either your manager or theirs and say I've now contacted Bill several times by email and phone but still haven't received x piece of work. Can you give them a nudge -boot up the arse-?

If you share a site you should also be knobbling them in person when you see them. "Aw Bill, great to see you! How was your holiday? I was beginning to think you were ignoring me! Haha! Will we pick a time to meet now we're together?"

I would count all the above as basic chasing for things that aren't critical.

Apologies if you weren't being literal! That was genuinely meant to try and be helpful!

@Ticksallboxes

I can almost guarantee OP that the most complacent and critical PPs all work in public sector jobs where it's literally impossible to get made redundant.

Hold on to the fact that you got glowing reviews in your previous role - that's all any of us have going forwards, but it usually works!

Rooting for you!!

…unfortunately I think it’s directly the opposite, and the only complacency on this thread is from OP. It’s nice to try to take a positive spin on things, but a bit laughable to claim people saying “maybe take passing your probation seriously and accept feedback” are actually people who have coasting jobs…

I’m private sector legal by the way, previously private sector business development—you don’t perform and you’re out straight away, you’re always in competition with colleagues. Wouldn’t last a day if you claimed part of your core job description “wasn’t in your nature”

@Ticksallboxes why on earth would you assume that?!

The Op has had lots of good feedback and practical guidance on this thread. She’s not interested.

@YoureTheTop

Thanks *@Ticksallboxes*, some of the pp are basically saying 'You're crap', which I'm not.

Yes, big old corporation. Pale stale male. I have previously worked for a new dept in it and got glowing reviews. Very different environment.

No-one on here has said that you're generally crap at work, although in this context we're talking about your performance in a specific role where things are not going well. People have tried to suggest maybe it's a case of the role not being a good match for you, so while your performance here is not adequate you might be great in other situations. You deny this.

In this rolewell I would not have PICKED the word crapbut you're clearly grossly underperforming. You didn't pass your probation, you're not getting results, you've seemingly decided your job is basically impossible, and you're not even picking up the phone when you're literally on the verge of losing the job. You're not taking on board comments from people who know how to do this type of work.

You clearly think you're the expert at this, the fact your company don't think you're meeting minimum standards suggests otherwise. You either need to turn this around or accept that nowbefore you get firedit's better to jump.

@MutteringDarkly

Couple of thoughts:

1. See if you can go on training for influencing skills (and possibly assertiveness).
2. Make sure you are being very clear in your communications with stakeholders about the purpose of this work, what it affects (and the consequences if it isn't complete). You need to get people to see how it fits in the bigger picture, and to start caring about it.
3. Ask your boss to quickly take you through all the key stakeholders - who they are, what their role is, and what their priorities are. If you are completely new to this company, you need a briefing on that so you can leverage it to build relationships.
4. Network like mad. Start by asking things like "who's the best person to talk to about X" and "who keeps everything going and knows all the ways this team operates". If you are lucky, there will be a crash-hot project coordinator or exec assistant who can get you quickly up to speed on who's who, and critically which people are good alternatives if you can't reach person A
5. Update your boss a LOT more regularly about progress and activity. I would be unimpressed to get to a meeting and hear someone hadn't done something. Work on the basis of over-informing them (until they beg for mercy and also set out a clear reporting schedule so they know when they will get updates from you).

Great advice from @MutteringDarkly

Some really nasty comments on here. Why do people have to get so personal? This isn't AIBU.

OP I think they want a project manager type person and you are not it.

I think you were mis-sold the role and I'd look for something else that plays to your strengths.

Part of my job is similar, where I need to get busy and senior people (mostly men) to write documents they have no interest in. They're not writers and these documents don't help them in their day job.

My first tip is to get to know them a bit and figure out what they're like. Some people will always do what you need by the deadline you give them, others will promise and promise until the 11th hour when they finally admit they're not going to do it, and others will ignore you completely. Once you learn who's who you know where you need to spend your energy chasing and cajoling.

Secondly, do as much of the job for them as you can. If I know someone really hates writing I'll produce a draft myself and ask them to correct/enhance it instead of write from scratch. If it's too far outside my knowledge, I'll get them the SME to talk about what should be in the document, take notes, and then produce a draft for them. A lot of people are way happier to give information verbally than have to write it down.

You've probably already sent in your performance review, but instead of writing some form of "I think I've been poorly managed" I would write some form of "This is what I'm doing to improve my performance." You have to play the game, even when you're in the right.

You clearly think you're the expert at this, the fact your company don't think you're meeting minimum standards suggests otherwise

Agree. I run an organisation that is under massive pressure at the moment. Keeping the lights on during Covid has been incredibly hard. My whole team is burnt out and reeling. I can't tell you how uninterested we would be in whether someone in her probationary period feels that the job is in her nature, or that our methods are old-fashioned. Especially someone who has never worked in our sector before. We need someone who can pull her weight.

I'm not some Alan Sugar-type boss. We offer loads of career development and I'm massively proud of the number of women with caring responsibilities whom we've developed and promoted. Our staff retention is great. We welcome new ideas. But you have to show that you can pull your weight, deliver your targets, and understand our sector's needs first.

Sounds like you’re getting tougher even if that’s out of your comfort zone! Just remember, even though they are “busy” this is one of their mandatory responsibilities and so you should never feel guilty chasing them. You are simply asking them to do their job. We get this with foi requests and as annoying as they can be, they are a requirement so the team have to accept that.