Fall out over my husbands MAT leave

[Babyjune21]

I’m very confused , our friend has falling out with us for not telling her how long my husband was off for mat leave ,
We had a baby a few months ago and my husband is nearly half way in too his 6 months mat leave . He works quite high up in a large insurance firm and there policy is to give every male worker 6 months full pay mat leave regardless of weather the mums on Matt leave too (we know how lucky we are to have this ) so we tent not to say to anyone unless they ask , as we don’t want to sound like we are rubbing it in any ones faces

I met up with a friend during the week and he was with me to drop me off I waved goodbye and me and said friend went in and sat down in cafe before the woman even came to take our order she snapped at me and said how come he’s dropping you off is he not back to work yet I said no he’s still on mat leave she asked what I meant and I explained about the 6 months off she snarled at me about how unfair that was because he husband who works for nhs only got 2 weeks I agreed and said I though all men should get longer mat leave I tried to change the subject but she turned to me and said “ are you even going to bother going back to work after this baby you didn’t with the last or are you just going to kid on to be the stay at home wife “

She knows I don’t have to work due to partners wage not from me but from my mother in law telling her mother I could of let the ground swallow me up right there , we had a very quite coffee and thankfully my husband was only round the corner at the shops so I made my excuses and left I’m not sure what she wanted me to say but she has since told her mother who’s then spoke to my mother in law and said she won’t be seeing me again I’m not sure what I could of done differently I feel worried to meet up with anyone else incase they question it and the same thing happens

Should I lie next time and say he just has annual leave ?

Doesn't sound like much of a friend!

There wouldn’t be a next time if this was me. She’s not a friend.

I think he gets paternity or parental leave?
Just say he is on paternity leave.
End of.

She sounds very jealous
He will have paternity leave though, not maternity leave

Just drop her, she isn't very nice.

It's paternity leave for your DH though, not maternity!

It’s none of her business what your DH’s terms of employment are. She sounds jealous & unpleasant TBH.

X post!

Difficult. She was unpleasant but it's hard when your situation is so much better than other peoples. I'd feel bloody envious if you when mine were small. However that's not your fault.

Sounds like she’s jealous and not a friend at all to have behaved in that way. I’m sure others will be much nicer about it. Don’t give her another thought.

I think this is a blessing in many ways and you need new friends. She sounds horrible.

Jealousy through and through. Your husband is entitled to his paternity/maternity leave, that's just the way it is. Being a SAHM works for your family. Why would you want yo people please just for the sake of not annoying anyone.. It's your life, you don't need validation from these so call friends. Let them crack on with their miserable lives. Also, don't agree when someone says it's not fair your husband is entitled to 6 month's off via his policy at work.. If they take exception, tell them to speak to their HR department.

I thought it was paternity leave too.. But wasn't sure as it might have been labeled as maternity in your husbands policy. FYI op it's paternity or parental leave. You don't want people to correct you as well as judge you...

Your husbands firm sounds very supportive of new parents... I'm sure many people would be envious. My (male) friend got two months and that sounded fabulous.

Your friend however doesn't sound supportive.

She's jealous and unpleasant. She isn't your friend. Her thoughts on SAHP are enough to stop the friendship. How you pay for and care for your own family isn't up to her.

Wow. Obviously very envious of your situation, but you shouldn’t have been treated this way. She’s being a twat quite frankly.

So

1. She is not a friend so walk away from her

2 stop telling your mil anything you don’t want anyone else to know and tell your dh not to tell her anything

His paternity rights are not the reason your friend's DH has less. That's simply not how it works. She badly needs to get a grip. This sort of pathetic attitude is just the same as people who are jealous of other's anything. If you'd like her in your life, try to help her understand that. If you aren't particularly bothered, you are better off without.

She sounds utterly toxic. I wouldn't chose to see her again if I were in your shoes.

Wow that is good. I thought DH was lucky with 3 months.
She sounds a bit bitter though.

None of her fucking business.
Enjoy this time together

Wow, that's insane.

I could understand "it's alright for some hahaha" and even being a tad jealous but to behave like that is ridiculous.

Your partners leave has nothing to do with her partners leave.

As the others said, she's not your friend.

Her comments come from a dark place. The fact she's said them to your face says she's quite comfortable with saying what she's probably said a few times before to different people.

She's not your friend OP.

I’d have made comments along the lines of me being very jealous. My DH got an additional two weeks paid paternity which we were very grateful for when I went back to work before the summer holidays. It meant DD2 could be at home for a bit longer. We were lucky to get that.

She doesn’t sound like much of a loss as a friend. Just ignore her and don’t bother seeing her again.

It's probably for the best she doesn't see you again considering how bloody rude she is!
It's not your problem. Try not to give it any headspace.