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Original poster

Child has been sent home to self isolate - help!

38 replies

Sammieantha86 · 14/07/2021 14:19

Help!

My 7yr old daughter has been sent home to self isolate as of today - I have no one she can go to whilst I travelled and spent six hours at work therefore have asked for my options which my manager has given me - which requires me to work from home which I’m more than happy with (it took the stress away from me after a very hectic morning)

I then received a message from the team leader asking if my 16yr old son could help me out? I don’t feel confident enough to leave them together all day or to put the pressure on my 16yr old who is getting ready for 6th form to take on this responsibility? Is this wrong of me?

I just wanted others opinions and if anyone else has been in this situation how they have handled it because although I have always worked with 3 kids - I am at my wits end with all the covid to the point I feel it’s not worth me working and it is getting me down

Thanks in advance

Confused
OP posts:
iamtheoneandonlyyy · 14/07/2021 14:21

In general a 16 year old should be fine to look after a 7 year older that can't go anywhere. What concerns are there about leaving them together?

ThisIsStartingToBoreMe · 14/07/2021 14:22

I would say it's fine for the 16 year old to help

Mumdiva99 · 14/07/2021 14:24

Is there a reason your 16 year old can't do this? I would be happy with that arrangement - but maybe you can work from home some days and in the office other days?

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 14/07/2021 14:24

What is your 16 year old doing right now to get ready for sixth form which means he can't do this?

Why are you not confident to leave them together? Is there a history of some sort which has led to you not trusting him?

WheresMySnackPack · 14/07/2021 14:24

If the 16 year old doesn't want to then just say this.

They've offered for you to work from home they can't expect a 16 year old to babysit.

purplesequins · 14/07/2021 14:31

tbh end of school year I would let the 16 yo babysit (unless that would mean them missing end of year activities).

Shitfuckcommaetc · 14/07/2021 14:34

Tbh, it's none of their business what your 16 year old is doing.

Do what's right for you

Original poster
Sammieantha86 · 14/07/2021 14:35

It’s not just babysitting it’s making sure she logs on to do work and making sure they’re fed (I suppose I could leave packed lunches) it’s just I’ve never asked this of him and seems a lot of responsibility for a whole ten days - he has her for the odd hour but that has been it - I spose there is no harm in trialling it and seeing how it goes - or even like someone suggested maybe doing a few days at home and some at work

OP posts:
PeonyTime · 14/07/2021 14:35

If the 16 yr old has nothing else to do, I can see why the team leader has asked the question. In many families it wouid be fine. If it wont work in your family, tell work that -but maybe the 16 yr old could do every other day if school has finished because GCSEs are over. If you dont try, you'll never know.

Sittinginthesand · 14/07/2021 14:39

Of course a 16 year old should be able to do this.

RobinPenguins · 14/07/2021 14:43

It’s ok not to want to and to want to WFH - but I’d be surprised at a 16 year old who wasn’t capable of looking after a 7 year old and giving them lunch.

VaguelyInteresting · 14/07/2021 14:46

Regardless - your manager should not be intruding in your family life in this way. You can either wfh or you can’t. That’s the limit of your managers involvement.

If it transpires you can’t, you can take unpaid leave, leave with your 16 yo or arrange a sitter but that’s YOUR business and not an iota of theirs.

BashStreet1 · 14/07/2021 14:50

If your job can't be done to a good standard from home then I'm not surprised your team leader has asked the question. I think many people would expect a 16 year old to be perfectly capable of looking after a 7 yo sibling for a day.

MaggieFS · 14/07/2021 14:50

Is the team leader a different person to your manager? If the manager is more senior, can you just let then TL know that as agreed you'll be WFH.

Or can you alternate to break it up a bit, e.g. WFH for two days and then the 16yo covers a day so you go in?

FAQs · 14/07/2021 14:53

What do you normally do in the holidays? Or is because he needs to make sure she logs on. I think for a few days it would be ok.

Soontobe60 · 14/07/2021 14:55

I’d suggest you do part days in the office - maybe an early start - then home for lunch and WFH for the rest of the day. That way you’re not leaving your DD solely in the care of your DS.

toastantea · 14/07/2021 15:01

@Shitfuckcommaetc

Tbh, it's none of their business what your 16 year old is doing.

Do what's right for you

This!!

I'm surprised so many people have missed the pint and are saying it's fine. It's only fine if you choose it. Your employer has no right to make any sort of suggestions regarding your childcare arrangements.

SandysMam · 14/07/2021 15:08

I love how people suggest to the Op to take unpaid leave!! And feed the 7 year old fresh air…
It’s shit Op, the anxiety this is causing for let’s face it, Mums, is off the charts. If your 16 year old can’t do this, just say it’s not suitable.

littlefireseverywhere · 14/07/2021 15:16

Yes, get your 16 year old to help. Ignore schoolwork for the 7 year old & throw in alternate days of you working from home. They’ll be fine.

FrownedUpon · 14/07/2021 16:38

16 year old should definitely be able to help.

VaguelyInteresting · 14/07/2021 16:48

@SandysMam

I’m not saying the OP SHOULD take unpaid leave- I know I couldn’t afford to- I’m just saying that if her employer said she couldn’t wfh and she wanted to stay off, it would be her choice, but her manager can’t make suggestions about her childcare. It’s not okay.

Sunshinedaisymeadowsxx · 14/07/2021 16:52

It’s fine but it’s your choice.
At 16 my DSS had DS age 4 over night whilst I went into hospital and had DD. He had him from lunch time until about 4pm the next day.
He got him up and took him to nursery etc.

I think it depends how responsible your eldest is in all honesty and the relationship they’ve got.

Also I’m sure a financial reward at the end of it would be an incentive for the eldest!!!

You could compromise also one day home
One day work etc?

Direstraitsmates · 14/07/2021 16:53

I don't think a 16 year old should have to stay in for 10 days looking after a younger sibling who can't go out the door. He's probably already had enough of being locked down over the past year and a half. I think you should work from home as you have arranged. You could tell your manager your 16 year old has plans.

delilahbucket · 14/07/2021 16:56

I have moved out and was paying my own rent, cooking, cleaning, paying my bills and working three jobs at 16. Looking after a 7 year old will be a breeze for him.

lilsquish · 14/07/2021 17:00

it cant be for 10 full days surely?

by the time you're notified are you not already on day 3 or 4? plus its the weekend soon too (unless you work weekends.....)

but i agree with you, all this isolating is a piece of nonsense and not workable long term