Child has been sent home to self isolate - help!

[Sammieantha86]

Help!

My 7yr old daughter has been sent home to self isolate as of today - I have no one she can go to whilst I travelled and spent six hours at work therefore have asked for my options which my manager has given me - which requires me to work from home which I’m more than happy with (it took the stress away from me after a very hectic morning)

I then received a message from the team leader asking if my 16yr old son could help me out? I don’t feel confident enough to leave them together all day or to put the pressure on my 16yr old who is getting ready for 6th form to take on this responsibility? Is this wrong of me?

I just wanted others opinions and if anyone else has been in this situation how they have handled it because although I have always worked with 3 kids - I am at my wits end with all the covid to the point I feel it’s not worth me working and it is getting me down

Thanks in advance

Your team leader is reaching a bit. Very presumptuous. You know your family. When DC were little, DP was suffering crippling anxiety and depression and was frequently unable to 'pull his weight'. People would assume I'd be able to undertake out of hours commitments and that DP would do childcare. I resented being put in a position where I felt pressured to disclose a family member's medical information.

Does your 16yo not know how to make a sandwich?

Oh come on, you only need to read a few threads on MN to know that all 16year olds are not the same!
OP knows her children best.
I'd work from home if I were you.

I just personally find it a long day and a lot of responsibility for someone - I myself was a mom at 17 and - im not saying he isn’t capable I just think it’s a lot - especially after the year he’s had being locked in and missed exams he’s worked hard for if he wanted to go play football with his friends he should be able to - Im their mother I see it as my responsibility to be the one taking care of them - I get the helping out but to me I just find that a little excessive it’s not like I’m popping to the shop or out for a coffee and could just come back - once im at work I have responsibilities there too

You get up and make sure they log on 16 year old supervise for a few hours while you work from home

I would ignore the TL having agreed a way forward with the manager. Or would say-thanks a lot for your idea, unfortunately not feasible, so will revert to options discussed with manager. But offer no other info.

Its not up to them to organise you or make suggestions and is a bit rude.

I don't think it's that big a deal having a 16 year old looking after a 7 year old. She's 7, so no nappies to change or anything. It's not like babysitting a toddler. Pretty sure a 16 year old can relax with his sister at home and make breakfast and lunch for them both. It's 10 days, it's hardly going to ruin his life.

Can you liaise with work for a compromise that your 16 year old looks after your younger child a couple of times not two days in a row if there is something pressing that you can not do from home and you wfh the rest.

I am in exactly the same situation as you @Sammieantha86 but luckily I only work part time and only need to cover a couple of days.

I will not ask this of my 16 year old, even though someone at work mentioned it. It’s a lot of responsibility and it is mine and dh’s job as parents to do this.

I have offered to work from home or take a carers day, or make up the hours. It’s still not been decided, it seems to be a bone of contention but I’m not sure why.

I’m now wishing I’d lied and said they were ill or one of us had symptoms because then I would be off with full pay. But I tried to be honest and appeal to their better nature. Will know not to in future.

It also rankles that so many staff have been off lately (on full pay) for various pretty dodgy reasons, including lots of self isolating because of a friend of a friend etc.

@VaguelyInteresting

Regardless - your manager should not be intruding in your family life in this way. You can either wfh or you can’t. That’s the limit of your managers involvement.

If it transpires you can’t, you can take unpaid leave, leave with your 16 yo or arrange a sitter but that’s YOUR business and not an iota of theirs.

This.

People take the fucking piss and need to remember that it’s not their place to make suggestions for their staff’s caring arrangements.

A NT 16 year old that would otherwise be home anyway (I.e no work / school commitments) should be able to do this. Let him step up and be responsible. Suggest to work that it's just half days or every other day so he's not trapped in for 10 days looking after his little sister. And offer to pay him as you would any other babysitter (even if just a token £5 a morning or something).
And don't forget, if DD is isolating that means that no-one outside your household can visit and she shouldn't leave the house.

I think a couple of days is fine but the whole isolation is a bit much.

Sometimes doing the ‘right’ thing actually turns out to be the wrong thing - very ironic!