Unprofessional behaviour

[Shehasadiamondinthesky]

I'm probably going to get flamed for this but.......I feel really let down by the majority of the other women at work, We're in medical.
I was a single parent for the early part of my working life in the 80's and constantly had to be better than anyone else to be taken seriously.
We're now about half men and half women at work.
None of the men take any time off sick, they tend to progress quite quickly through the ranks, they don't bring their emotions to work they just get on with work as do I whatever is going on in my private life.
The majority of the women especially through covid have had many weeks off with stress, request extra time to do their jobs, don't volunteer for anything, get hysterical a lot, won't take any criticism, constructive or otherwise, gossip, use periods as an excuse for bad behaviour and are always in tears.
I overheard some of the guys talking about this the other day and saying no wonder some places don't employ women and I felt really pissed off and ashamed, I'm disabled and have a serious mental health disorder akin to schizophrenia which none of them apart from my manager know about, have never had a day off sick, never get hysterical at work, volunteer for everything and try to be a professional at all times, I never get involved in bitching or gossip.
The men have time off with their sick kids too and do equal pick ups and so on because their wives all work too but how are we supposed to be equal in the workplace when women are behaving like this?
I get covid has been tough, I haven't exactly found it a bed of roses, I'm 60 years old and I'm now getting ageist shit from the WOMEN at work not the men who respect me and know I will get the job done.
Why do we still behave like this? Is it just my workplace?

@Hamnetssister

I don’t understand how people can be so judgmental when you have no idea of someone’s circumstances. This thread was so upsetting when I was already feeling vulnerable.

For what it’s worth, I have the same experience at my workplace. In my team, the women seem to do the bulk of the mental load at home: pickups /sick days etc. they are effectively working part time and being paid full time. I resent them for facilitating their husbands’ careers while we, in the team constantly have to do their work. If anyone complains they allege discrimination on the basis of their caring obligations….

I haven't seen this from women where I work. I have, however, seen this type of behaviour from many men. One I know recently took 6 months off sick (full pay - which runs out, "coincidentally" - after six months) because his EX MIL was sick - he hadn't even spoken to her in about 15 years... Another bloke took again, six months off because his young adult daughter was suffering with mental health. Never mind the fact he lives 200 miles from his daughter and they'd not spoken in 12 years. The women I work with are amazing.

@FriendlyBiscuit

For what it’s worth, I have the same experience at my workplace. In my team, the women seem to do the bulk of the mental load at home: pickups /sick days etc. they are effectively working part time and being paid full time. I resent them for facilitating their husbands’ careers while we, in the team constantly have to do their work. If anyone complains they allege discrimination on the basis of their caring obligations….

Why do you not resent their husbands for not sharing the load at home? That’s what I would focus my frustrations on.

This has not been my experience.

There can be a problem with the culture in certain workplaces that makes people think it's ok or even normal to act a certain way. Perhaps that is what is happening here.

Also, the last year has overwhelmingly impacted working women. The men may say they do 'their fair share' but a quick read of multiple threads on here would show you this is often an illusion.

I've worked in female-dominated industries and most of the women are incredibly hard working, resilient and supportive. This has often not been the case with the men.

It does seem to be specifically this job, nobody behaved like this in my last NHS trust apart from one bloke.

"I never get involved in bitching or gossip."

I think your starting this thread sort of suggests that this isn't quite true.

How do you know their reasons for being off aren’t genuine?

I’m with you on this in regards to women in the workplace rather than in healthcare (never worked in healthcare).

Men I’ve personally dealt with just get on with the job, are approachable and honestly work just goes smoother when it’s male managed.

All my experiences of women in management have been awful. Micromanaging, bitchy, gossiping, lazy, rife with favouritism, two faced, the list goes on. It’s so depressing.

Maybe it’s just my sector or just my experiences but I’m yet to have a female manager who I look up to. It’s sad.