ENOUGH ALREADY! I have stepped off the ladder - FINALLY

[pena]

Hi all,
Altho' I have been away from mumsnet for a while, some of you may recall the teeth gnashing that I shared at the beginning of the year after returning to work following a ridiculously short 2 month maternity leave, then gritting my teeth thru' work & an evil super-bitch boss (unmarried, addicted to Manolo Blahnic shoes) who spends her time politicising at work.

ENOUGH ALREADY!!

I quit my job a couple of days ago. It has not been an easy decision. Aside from evil boss condemning me to oblivion, I - like everyone else also need to deal w/ the anxiety given the recession. I don't think I have found a satisfactory answer to the whole debate over having a fulfilling career & family. Does it have to be one vs. the other?

But I do know this - its tough work to be a good mum & wife & career person, but its easy to forget about one's own personal fulfillment. Why spend each day battling monsters at work? Adieu to big corporate life - good grief. And hello to finding the work situation & people who are supportive of the multiple roles I have.

And guess what - a pair of Manolo Blahnic strappy sandals cost at least US$800. Who is the fool here!

Hi pena, well in my opinion the under 5's need their Mums and Dads (if it's an affordable option). They aren't little for long and we have the rest of our lives ahead of us to go back to work. Good luck to you. Think of all the money you'll save on power clothes. R

Pena, well done for taking such a big step. I hope you told the superbitch what you thought of her before you left. Enjoy a little time with your family and find a job where they appreciate you more. Life's too short to spend 8 hours a day doing a job that you hate.

Good for you, Pena! I wish you loads of luck. Even if you do end up living in trainers!

I live my life in trainers..... does this make me sad or just hyper cool? (They are rather nice ones).

pena - lucky lucky you! Hope things work out well. Must be great to say 'Get Stuffed' to a nasty bos and job.

Willow2 - trainers are a crime against clothing/footwear. ALL trainers (except £5 ones form Woolies for my daughter ) would go on my bonfire. Along with those horrid jeans some people wear that have bleached out bits where you sit down. Any other crimes against clothing?

Nothing personal Willow2, just feeling kind of provocative tonight!! Hey, it's Friday and I've got to stay in revising. Have to pent my frustration SOMEHOW!!!!!

Oh No - it's kicking off again !!!!

Scatterbrain - I AM JOKING!!!!

Can't hear you - have got my head under the covers !! You're not really there - I'm just imagining you !!!!

I LOVE TRAINERS I LOVE TRAINERS I LOVE TRAINERS.... ner ner ne ner ner

trainers are cool - how else would you do 1hr power buggying a day around central London?

meant to say well done pena - nice to have you back as well! Hows ds?

Trainers - euuwwwch! I loath wearing them and have had one pair in my entire life. They make my feet feel claustrophobic!!

I think trainers are cool btw Love my Nike Prestos n intend to live in them from now on.

I can't thank you guys enough for the encouragement. We all need our cheering squads when we decide to fly in the face of things.

It was almost orgasmic seeing evil boss' reaction, but in the end, just sad & pathetic to witness a woman aged 37 , sports 3 carat rock but also a boyfriend of 10 yrs w/ no marriage or family in sight (coincidentally her bf looks like Barry Manilow) spew rage at me for my so-called ingratitude over all she's done for me. This is classic, she "rewards" me with a 6 week secondment in San Francisco - now b4 u guys all get excited - get this, I live in Singapore & secondment means me-myself n I - no ds. What must be going thru' her head? Its almost funny when I think about it now.

Great to hear from u manna. Ds is doing really well. Still sleeping & eating well (yes the routine & weaning techniques worked). Loves swimming. But no matter what I do, I can't get him to sleep past 7 am. Argh. Oh well. He had his first case of nappy rash recently (yes, I know now how lucky we've been) and oh my god, it was so bad that I cringe at the memory. How is your ds?

Pena, enjoy your trainers and your time at home. One of the perks of being a SAHM is wearing what you like. I live in my jeans, comfy black trousers, trainers and DM boots, hate the days I have to wear a skirt!

Well done Pena... I remember how you bitched about your boss... I have friends in SIngapore and having babies there IS difficult.

I have JUST left my high powered job with multinational this FRIDAY.... SOOOO excited... new world open its doors !
I'll post more on my plans (which most know about anyway) later this week.

ENJOY motherhood !

Its difficult everywhere. But in Asia - its just unreal how anti-child most workplaces still are. I don't know how other women do it. And I can't see any signs of an improvement in workplace attitudes.

Oh has anyone read that new book think its called "How does she do it?" its supposed to be kind of like a Bridget Jones diary for the working mum. I have a feeling that we can all relate.

Admiration to you pena! You have done what alot of us are probably in two minds about doing - good on you girl!

I quit my job last july! Best thing i ever ever did (other than give birth to 2 gorgeous boys!) my eldest (number 2 was not even a twinkle yet!)was between 16 months and 26 months when i worked full time and it was hell. I ended up on anti depressants cos i felt so bad at leaving my son. In the end my Dr told me to quit. Not only that the childminder saw more of Tyler and earned more than me! She got more of my wages they i did as i had a lot of travel to pay for too! I had a 40 hr week plus forced evening classes menaing i got home at 11.30pm and left for work at 6am! For just £200 a month after costs! I was a wreck! Since then i've been in lots of media, papers, tv etc as I believe that if i tell my story other mums won't feel so bad if they quit as i am fed up of soceity saying we have to be perfect mums, career women, have perfect homes and a size 8 figure within weeks of giving birth! You can't alway do it all! Now i have never been happier as a mum! My son is happier too!

Tracy
xx

Good for you, Tracy. Well done about the media, too. I agree that we are often pressurised to do too much. Fine if you enjoy it, but not when its impossible.

Congrats to those of you who managed to escape the shackles of careerdom, I've unfortunately not yet reached that state of enlightenment, I do wonder how much longer I'll last it's definately not easy. Pena I've read the book you mentioned - it was given to me as a present and I did identify with some of it. It's quite a light-weight read and has some amusing bits. The end definately had that typical 'feelgood factor' but it was a bit of an anticlimax.

just celebrated dd's first birthday yeaterday and having serious thoughts about staying at home with her. Like my job but no longer see it as a career - my family are the only thing that's important now. Live in London with pretty hefty mortgage so a little extra money would be handy - any ideas for working from home?

Pena, keep us informed about how it's going - I'll be very interested because I'm having second thoughts about my life at the moment.

Ds started school early Sept, and we've had 5 weeks of him doing half days at school (3 wks 9-12 then 2 wks 9-1.15). It's been a nightmare trying to sort out dropping off, picking up, childcare for the afternoons etc - it's really stressed both dh and I, and ds has been upset by it too (on top of having to settle into school). As well as all this I've had a hectic time at work, with worries about future business but too much to do at this actual moment.

I don't feel that I'm doing any one thing properly - not my job, not settling my ds into school, not being a good mum to my dd (who has had to pretty much put up and shut up and has been trotted off to nursery every day). As to time for personal fulfillment or my marriage....nuf said .

Dd could go to the state nursery (which is free) next September for either mornings or afternoons, so at that point I could give up work (I don't feel it's fair to take her out of her nursery and away from her friends when she enjoys it so much, without replacing it with something, and all the local playgroups are currently full for her age group - all those millenium babies).

My real concern is that I'm not sure how I'd react to being a SAHM - I've always felt I needed the stimulus of a job. However the situation at the moment is far from satisfactory for any of us, and maybe me not working would help.

So I'd really appreciate knowing how you (and anyone else who's given up (paid ) work finds life as a SAHM.

Azzie - just my personal views as a SAHM - I think it is essential to have loads of hobbies & interests in order to keep your brain active - I do a lot of voluntary work and this keeps me busy - I was in PR/customer services before, & did a lot of writing, newsletters etc so I use these skills on a voluntary basis, eg: writing for a church magazine, producing the local community bulletin, etc. I sometimes wonder if I come over too bossy though!! I was used to managing a big team & find it hard to accept when things aren't done well, you need loads of tact in the voluntary sector! I didn't like the way our local toddler group was run so, as it needed a new organiser (!), I took over & re-vamped it & it now attracts a lot more people.

I personally don't want to spend all my time with other mums (apart from Mumsnet!!) so again it is important to make a wide circle of friends; but I am quite out going & don't find this hard .. I have only lived in this area for 2 years & knew no one when we moved here, you have to make the effort to get out & about.

I certainly don't miss the long hours, commuting, bitcyness of office life and working for idiot bosses!!

Good luck, whatever you decide to do.