Another snarky comment...

[Deedyn]

I’m so fed up with our Office Manager. I’ve previously posted about her making a snarky comment in one of our Team meetings and it’s happened again.
She is only sarcastic towards me. I’ve told my husband tonight and he’s said I must contact the Union. Do I have to give her name? What happens, what will they do?
It’s making me so anxious and upset, any advice anyone please?

Who is your line manager?

The line manager has just given birth to twins and there is no one that has yet replaced her.
I don’t know what to do or who to turn to.

Who is your line managers line manager?

Side note: why havent they got a maternity cover for her?!

There ain’t much point in reporting it if you don’t give her name. What do you want to happen now? Think carefully about what you are asking for when you complain. you should state factually the events, explain the impact on you and let her manager deal with it

What are the comments please?

What sort of thing is she saying?

Difficult to comment without context.

Union are unlikely to do anything tbh, especially if your Office Manager is also a member.

What do you want the outcome to be? Involving a union makes it serious stuff. And yes, if you want to go down that route, you will need to name her or else it's pointless!
Have you spoken to her about it directly?

I want her to stop being so sarcastic towards me. I find her patronising and belittling. I realise I obviously have to give her name but I don’t like bad feeling and really wish I wasn’t in this position.

What was the comment?

Have you noted times, dates & words? You'll need to.

I'd speak to her directly if it was me and try to resolve it. You are absolutely going to have to prepare for awkwardness either way.

@Nohomemadecandles; I’m beginning to wish I’d addressed this some time ago (just prior to lockdown) as she made a few sarcastic comments towards me then too. Fast forward to now and there’s been another couple thrown my way.
I hate confrontation but without it nothing get resolved I guess.

It's not nice, particularly when it's only directed at you.

But what sort of comments is she making op?

You need to plan a response for the next time she says some to big bad to you. ‘I don’t appreciate being spoken to like that’ or similar. Each and every time she says something give her a hard stare say ‘ excuse me?’ And note down exactly what’s been said. If you don’t want to make a formal complaint you should tackle it yourself directly to her.

I would suggest you speak to another Manager/HR/ACAS before going down the union route.

@Twickerhun; I’ve been running through things to say back in response to her. The comments can be so flippant and over Zoom it can be hard to respond to quickly, but I will certainly try. She’s a very difficult character to deal with at the best of times and is hard faced.

Right them down and get someone else opinion preferable not a friend as they will just agree with you.

If it’s on zoom can you record the meeting next time?

@flippertygibbit; I’d prefer not to myself, believe me. I am going to have to think quicker and with a response back at her.

@rwalker; Do you mean someone else in the meeting? A colleague/so called friend was there in the meeting and laughed a little along with her.
I’m hurt by that, but that’s another story.

I think it would be best to speak to her separately rather than respond in the heat of the moment. Just straight forward: "when you said x I was upset and embarrassed, please don't speak to me in a sarcastic way again".

Don't get into a battle or try to retaliate. Keep hold of the moral high ground!

I'd exhaust internal avenues before going to the union (do unions even deal with this sort of thing?). Start with HR and/or your line manager.

If you don't get adequate support from the company then I'd speak to ACAS.

@Ouchiehelpneeded; I did feel embarrassment when she said what she did, but the thought of having to speak to her makes me feel quite sick. I may have to consider the option of emailing her, save looking at her face.