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Original poster

How do I deal with this employee

26 replies

User198724 · 25/11/2020 10:14

Hi mumsnetters!
I’m after some opinions on how to handle a situation with a staff member.
A member of my team has had clinical depression for the past few years which has lead to insomnia this year.
We have been super flexible (which is one thing I love about the company I work for) but when we have earlier meetings ( before 11am) he keeps asking me to call him to wake him up.
I’ve tried for a long time to be really sensitive to his situation but I don’t think it’s my job to wake him up for work.
Does anyone have any suggestions on what I can do with this?

OP posts:
TrollTheRespawnJeremy · 25/11/2020 12:20

I agree OP, you're not his mum and this isn't your place.
If his insomnia is so bad that it is impinging on his ability to be online for required meetings then I'd suggest he really needs to take this particular issue up with his GP as he isn't fit for work.

HollowTalk · 25/11/2020 12:24

That's ridiculous! How can he hear you calling him when he can't hear his own alarm? Hasn't he got anyone else who can do this? It makes him sound so immature.

mummmy2017 · 25/11/2020 12:48

Just tell him being awake and prepared to do your job is part and parcel of working.
You do not feel comfortable being his wake up call as feel it would be an HR issue conflict if you called and he did not answer.

JackAndJillsBucket · 25/11/2020 16:05

he keeps asking me to call him to wake him up.

that's beyond a joke.

he has a contract for work - if he can't make it to work on his own steam, he's not fit to work and needs to be signed off, or, if you explore it in HR-policy terms, maybe this isn't the right role for him.

if a member of staff asked me to call him to wake him up i'd assume it was a joke, depression or not, that's fucking ridiculous and you're not his mum. would he have asked a senior male to do the same?

you need to highlight in very blunt terms how out of order his attitude is, regardless of the reason.

and if you're not comfortable doing that, then you need to work with HR so you can get some support/training as a his manager.

it's not good for the dynamic if he feels it's appropriate to ask you this tbh

SquishSquashSqueeze · 25/11/2020 16:06

Alarm clock for Christmas

HotSince63 · 25/11/2020 16:12

If he has a smartphone which he will hear if you call him, then he can use that phone to set a number of alarms 5 minutes apart.

If he doesn't have a smartphone then he can buy a digital alarm clock that will do the same thing.

I cannot imagine one of my staff asking this of me, I'd think they were taking the piss and quite honestly if they did I'd be reviewing my own professionalism and boundaries. I wonder if in being sensitive to his situation you've allowed him to push the boundaries a bit, become too much of a friend rather than a manager, which has led to him feeling it's acceptable to make this request?

reservoircats · 25/11/2020 16:17

@User198724 what have you said to him when he asks you this? That is ridiculous, you are not his Mum.
Maybe an alternative solution is to ensure he doesn't get booked into earlier meetings is for him to block off the hours in his calendar so people don't request them?

JackAndJillsBucket · 25/11/2020 16:53

ensure he doesn't get booked into earlier meetings is for him to block off the hours in his calendar so people don't request them

I would face disciplinary action if I tried to do that - and i'd bollock my staff for doing it too. Unless there are formal agreements in place about work hours flexibility, if he's even remotely in a role where he needs to interact with other people (which is a lot of roles, not all).. saying "i can't get out of bed in time to make a work meeting, set within normal office hours" is simply unacceptable.

You need to be fair to the other members of staff in the team here too - some of these suggestions would really put my back up if i found out that they'd been sanctioned or suggested by management!

he needs proper workplace/occupational health referred/boundaries.. not wishy washy "oh you can't book a meeting with bob and james at 10.30am, because bob can't get out of bed" nonsense.

Plonthy · 25/11/2020 17:01

I'd find a way to sack him.

juneybean · 25/11/2020 17:05

I'd refer him to occupational health to see if he's fit for work. You're not his mum and hes not fulfillment his end of the contract if hes turning up when he likes, insomnia or not.

juneybean · 25/11/2020 17:05

Ergh fulfilling **

Thurlow · 25/11/2020 17:07

You need to get occupational health involved now. If he needs such significant adjustments to his working day that he can't make an 11 meeting then it needs to be formally reviewed.

BluebellsGreenbells · 25/11/2020 17:11

And what if you forgot to wake him OP? Where would that leave you?

Oblomov20 · 25/11/2020 17:14

Why have you not referred to Occupational Health?

hobbyiscodefordogging · 25/11/2020 17:31

Well this isn't that difficult a conversation is it?

"No, I won't be calling to wake you up. You need to find a way that works for you, to get yourself up and ready in time for work. Do you foresee any problems with that?" and then coach him to come up with ways to overcome any issues.

Sunflowergirl1 · 25/11/2020 17:45

This is not your responsibility

Ensure his working hours and accompanying flexibility (if there is any) is clear.

If he doesn't turn up for meetings, set him an action plan which is around turning up on time. Set a review date.....if he continues you end up taking him down capability and sacking him.

Note that he may be able to claim disability so make sure you have considered reasonable adjustments. Not turning up though isn't reasonable !

NewbieManager · 25/11/2020 22:58

I think your understanding/support is exemplary, but expecting you to be the wake up call is taking it to far!

He either needs to formalise adjusted hours, or take responsibility for his own schedule

Either way, I’d take it to HR to protect yourself

Babysharkdoodoodood · 25/11/2020 23:15

Fuck me! I have crappy insomnia and I still manage to get up for a 7am shift.

MrDarcysMa · 25/11/2020 23:18

Ermm. He's not fit for work then.

Enough4me · 25/11/2020 23:26

Performance management to improve or manage him out.

Sadhoot · 25/11/2020 23:34

Please tell me you don't actually call him? Hmm

MiniMum97 · 25/11/2020 23:36

That's a very odd request. Is he struggling to remember that he has to be up earlier on certain days and so doesn't remember to set an alarm the night before? Depression can really affect your memory.

I'm sure there are other things he can do rather than call.

Could he set a reminder or appt in his work calendar to set an alarm for the early morning meeting at the point he receives the meeting request?

I have ADHD and struggle to remember things like this (ie unusual appts in different locations or not at normal times) so whenever I put something unusual in my work calendar, I also put it in my personal calendar with at least two reminders set.

He could set some reminders for the day before perhaps do he remembers to adjust his alarm?

I agree that it definitely can't be your responsibility to wake him up!!

QueenPaws · 25/11/2020 23:42

No. We did used to do it with colleagues so between ourselves if we were really tired after shifts, so you would ask someone on a night shift to ring you at 6am, and you would return the favour in turn. No management involved

nowishtofly · 25/11/2020 23:46

Occupational health advice required. It's an odd request. You have to question whether he is really fit for work.

Tell him it's an inappropriate request - you can't wake him up. Suggest he sets an alarm.

tiredofthisbsagain · 26/11/2020 00:04

No, this isn’t your job and it does not sound like a reasonable accommodation for mental health issues, did you try to discuss it with him?