Why do SAHMs not want to know working mums?

[78Annie]

I'm a working mum. As a teacher, I like to spend as much time as possible with my little one during the school holidays. It also gives my other half a break as he is a SAHD. But when I suggest to other mums to meet up in the hols, I get negative replies about how busy places are etc etc.

of my immediate group of about 8 mothers, I think 3 don't go out to work, 3 work part-time (commonly 4 days) and 2 work 5 days.

I can't imagine anyone of us being in the slightest bit interested in whether anyone else makes a differnt choice to us and certianly wouldn't judge anyone for it. Most of us don't have the spare energy.

Perhaps we are just nice people!

yes, kew, we are nice- (ish) people

mums - sahm, woham - combination of (i work from home) - all get such a hard time from the system sometimes anyhow, i always find it sad when we're not supportive of each other.

to work or not to work (often depending on to have the choice or not) is such an emotive subject that i think lots of people take it as criticism if someone makes different choices to them.

i also can't stand the phrase "full-time" mum. come on, we're all full-time parents. you don't hop on the tube/drop your child off at the CM/ and shed your responsibilities and feelings.

yeah, come on mumofhelen - if you're going to make sweeping generalisations, back them up!
you sound like a bitch so I'm not surprised if people look down on you. I pity 'Helen', having you as a role model.

and steppie - have you noticed how working dads are never described as "part-time" dads?! Only the mums. No double standard there then

yep, kew, ad dads are always so good for taking their dcs to the park/changing nappies/telling them bed-time stories/acting vaguely like a decent human being

when was the last time any of us got praised for taking the dcs to the park eh? eh?

It's also the fact that 'sahm' has connotations of nice suburban lifestyle and maybe running a little boutique as a hobby - it's not a term often used about a single mother on benefits, is it? (she's just a lazy proletarian scrounger)

I have friends who looked at me strangely when I was saying how quiet our local pool is and I can't understand how they stay open. I then realised its because I always go there 9-5 mon-fri when its dead where as they only ever go there saturday and sunday when the whole town are using it and its chaos. I would avoid the place at the busy times so can understand if parents are a bit negative about busy places when they have easy access to the same places when they are really quiet and relaxed, that is normal and understandable.

I have found that most of my friends tend to reserve the weekends for their partner whether or not they work. i think thats just a reflection on the fact they don't see them all day and its classed as 'family' time at the weekends. i have only 1 friend really who is up for meeting at the weekends and we meet on our own not with the kids for a coffee or whatever. I also have a few who actually go away at weekends. Plus don't forget people are generally taxi services at weekends fitting in all the sport/clubs/parties for their kids not to mention the homework element. As for summer holidays thats probably an extension of that. busy places are HORRIBLE in the summer. god we did Chester Zoo in August. never again!