Resigning nurse...do I spill the beans at the exit interview

[Crazymaisienumber9]

So I've been in my specialist nurse job for about 12 years. Over this time I've been bullied, unsupported and generally treated badly by colleagues and management....much like every other nurse out there really ! Anyway I've accepted a job in another trust at a lower pay grade because I just cant face staying any longer. I'm resigning tomorrow and have to give 3 months notice. The question is do I say anything at my exit interview about certain elements of my experience and treatment, or is it better to let sleeping dogs lie. I'm 55 this year and unlikely to ever be back in this trust again.

Not nursing, but after many years of the same treatment I didn’t have an exit interview either. I would have been very happy to name names, politely of course.

I would, although the sad reality is that it probably won't change anything, it should at least be recorded, and although it won't take away what you've experienced; it might offer just a little bit of closure for you to know you've spoken about it.

In an organisation where bullying is tolerated, mentioning it when leaving has no value.
Will you even get an exit interview?

Firstly thank you for all you have done for us in these past 12 years. I think I would bring up my grievances ,at least they will be off your chest!The only thing though ,if you have to give 3 months notice ,will you be gone if any of the people who have bullied you ,are still working with you, and may get wind of your woes? If not, then I would look forward to a fresh start and be glad you are leaving such a toxic work enviroment behind!

The trust I work for have always been keen to retain staff and will regularly send surveys round and hold meetings specifically to highlight any problems we have. That you felt you were unable to raise these issues at he time is shocking. I would say something but try and make it constructive, don’t get personal. In any organisation you will have to work with people you don’t get on with and “office politics “ isn’t unique to the NHS. However , and this may not play well on this forum , but I’ve often found it easier working with my male colleagues. You seem to get some really shitty attitudes in a female dominant environment.

Hi OP I was in a similar position myself 2 years ago and moving to another trust in a different role has been brilliant so I hope it can be such a positive move for you too! Going from a large trust to a smaller district general type hospital has been a breath of fresh air it has a more friendly feel and I don’t dread going into work in fact I now enjoy it. I had this dilemma when I left and I put my feelings into a letter so I could write it in a quite detached factual way and had a close friend moderate it. I don’t know if anything got done with it but it was quite cathartic putting it on paper and I suppose if we don’t speak up things will never change for those following us (although I suspect some practices are too ingrained). Also on a side note I managed to negotiate a shorter notice period than the 3 months, I asked for a meeting with my manager when I handed my notice in just basically laid it on the table saying I was very unhappy the situation was having a negative impact on my mental health would they consider releasing me soon and she reduced my notice period to 6 weeks so it is doable! Good luck!

I was in a similar position 2 years ago - same age as you and worked for NHS all my life pretty much. I didn't get an exit interview, but did have to do an exit email. Yes, I did put everything down. The bullying from very senior staff, the belittling, the being treated like dirt, the hypocrisy of their statements about being an 'inclusive employer' etc.

Exactly nothing was dealt with according to my colleagues I left behind.

I think you should. Be diplomatic about it, of course. Just say what the problems were, and if they want details, be prepared to give them. I'd also have an answer prepared if they ask why you didn't say anything sooner (for instance, did you have reason to believe your complaints wouldn't be taken seriously?).

Maybe, as some people suggest, nothing will happen. But nothing can happen if management don't know that there is a problem.

I wouldn't be worried about burning bridges - you're already resigning, it sounds unlikely that you'll be returning to this trust. If you do, well, the resignation is already on your CV, so it's not like they won't know there was something up.

When I left one of my jobs I used the opportunity to criticize the area manager. She had come into the job in a new area for her and within two weeks had cut staff and instructed us to change our morning routine, despite her never having done the sort of work we did. When we explained the reasons that it wouldn't work and invited her to come in and witness our morning routine, she simply told us that people are always resistant to change, and we had to do it. We tried it, it didn't work, so we simply ignored her instructions.
After I left, I received a letter from her, very miffed that I had dared to criticize her!

Tell them and give them some sort of proof so they can look into it, good luck with your new job...

I wouldn’t. Nothing good will come of it. It will either make no difference whatsoever or it will come back to bite you.

@PrincessButtockUp

Please be careful. Early in my career I gave an honest exit interview to a freelance HR consultant at an awful company, about why I was leaving and why so many others were, too. She turned up at a company I subsequently was offered a job with, and after she had lunch with the recruiting manager, my offer got rescinded. I know I scored highest in the assessment centre, so I have to presume she bad-mouthed me.

Stay professional, stick to documented evidence if possible, and make it clear you are taking a pay cut in order to get out. They can join the dots if they want but they can't pin anything on you that could hurt you later.

Yes, just because you are leaving that trust for a new one, doesn't stop people from your old trust coming to your new one. Best revenge is to be happy.

No, don’t say anything. The obvious question is why have you stayed for 12 years if you hated the job so much? Years ago, I left a job after 3 days when I realised the boss was horrible!

I think you should get a copy of the latest staff survey and look to see what your colleagues think. That will tell you if you have cultural issues or problems with individuals.

Then use that is the evidence to substantiate the concerns you had about working there. And why these were not voiced.

Don’t get personal. The NHS is a large organisation with lots of networks. Somebody has always worked with, befriended and even married someone.

NHS cultural comes from the top. They prefer to blame their middle managers even though they are put under pressure to behave the way they do. Some managers obviously fit the bill exactly but a lot of the time others are just put in no win situations.

NHS HR is missing an “in” prefix. Their loyalty is to the top not to the staff.

I think you should get a copy of the latest staff survey and look to see what your colleagues think

A colleague of mine once asked for the breakdown of how the survey had been filled in by staff bands/grades. Surprise, surprise - barely any Band 2s and 3s. 86% of surveys had been returned by corporate services/management, not coal face workers.

Surely time to
Spill the beans is in the job ?

Can’t see what you’d gain by doing it now, seems too late

Yes do it. HR can't help if you don't.

@Ladybadge

During an office move, someone found a heap of exit interviews piled up in a cupboard that HR had dumped.

If the hard copy forms were in an HR cupboard, they weren't necessarily "dumped". Had the forms been shredded, without any action taken with the feedback, that would have been what I consider dumped. What's to say they hadn't captured the results in an electronic format to discuss with management, and retained the paper copies. That's valid and legal, if in an HR office.

I was asked to do an exit interview when I decided to leave a clinic based job after only 6 months. I discovered subsequently many staff had made complaints about this one Band 7 individual. Guess what - she’s still there, drawing a nice salary. Meanwhile staff come and go like a revolving door.
What I’m saying is that my exit interview achieved absolutely nothing. It was simply a box ticking exercise.

Let it all hang out. I'm 58 and let them have it at my last trust.
I'm with an amazing trust now and very happy.

@thenightsky if the coal face workers didn't complete it they can't then be surprised at the result and complain then. Why didn't they complete it.

FWIW I have decades of experience dealing with grievances - 95% have their roots in capability and a ratchetting up of performance management. Not all managers are great I appreciate.

Collegiate bullying is another level and usually indicates a poor leader at the top. But with evidence it can be dealt with.

Not your experience op, but many many individuals who are unhappy and seep into a departmental culture often have quite chequered employment histories. 16 jobs in 18 years etc which a good manager will have windowed out at interview. Sadly many leave with an agreed reference which makes the process harder.

@thenightsky if the coal face workers didn't complete it they can't then be surprised at the result and complain then. Why didn't they complete it.

They didn't complain. They were barely aware of it. Cleaners and porters etc don't get a lot of screen time at work and most of the ones I spoke to had never even set up an NHS.net email address so won't have received the links to fill it in.

Firstly, thanks everyone for the feedback, good to hear other perspectives and experiences. The rest of this text are my experiences to explain what (kind of )happened and why I stayed, so if you cant be bothered with the whinge fest skip it. Thanks for the feedback though. I'm going to ask tomorrow what the exit interview is and see if theres any point if it's only just a tick box exercise.

I know it seems odd I've been there for 12 years so why now ....for the first 6 years my boss as she was then and I were the only 2 nurse employees in the team except for some other AHPs. Although she was unpredictable at times I just fronted her up when she was being 'off'. I was the least experienced and was doing courses at this point.Then I left for 4 years went to another country and eventually came back to the same job. From here things were nightmarish. We clashed because rather than it being just me and her, there was another nurse in the team and to cut a long story short she played us two off against each other with lies from one about the other (it took us a while to figure this out because she had built up such a distrust between us) Because I wasnt the rookie as such anymore and i had differing opinions she became very hostile, bullying because I didnt agree with her all the time, I wasnt aggressive in this, just a 'we will have to agree to disagree' kind of thing, but that wasnt good enough for her I had to agree with her and she was furious when I didnt. Eventually I realised what games she was playing, and it culminated in her verbally exploding at me, unfortunately not witnessed. So I reported it to my manager who wanted me to take a grievance but i also went to my union. My union said ...dont bother ....they will never do anything about her and it will be you who pays the price. We went through 3 managers in as many years and 2 of them had worked with her before and said we know what you're talking about...but they hadn't done anything either when she 'challenged' them. This person had issues with every AHP and nurse she had, (and currently) worked with. Others had complained about her dietitians and podiatrists but no action was taken. So when I said I wasnt going to take out a grievance, management insisted on mediation which my bully wiggled her way out of. Too long to explain. It then progressed to an incident where she tried to get me into alot of trouble. Through other witnesses including written statements it was proven she lied lied lied and lied. NOTHING happened. Everytime she did something the manager said we will take it further the next time. But of course, she never did. One of the next times it was my colleague she targeted and tried to drag me into it but couldnt. It was investigated, and my colleague and I both offered statements which we had witnesses to, but....it was a whitewash. Over time she has manipulated new members of staff, she is good at her job, very smart, very shrewd and deceitful, and she creates tension and drama where there is none.

Some of my colleagues think she has something on management as she constantly talks about being bullied and talking to solicitors etc . I know what depths she is prepared to sink to win the day...and that is like a hammer over your head every day, but you just dont know when it will fall.

Unfortunately a medic has now joined our team who has alot of sway and, as the bully is very good at projecting a helpful image to the people with influence and is good clinically, this medic wont hear a bad word about her. So the rest of us just have to sit back and listen to her being lauded. If we say anything we are the ones with the problem.

She has fraudulently claimed she has made house calls but they are just phonecalls. Management have known this for years and have done nothing. I watch the games every single day and she gets away with it every single time.

This is just a brief overview, there are other factors and events but for me last year another incident was the straw that broke the camels back which represented how management just did not support me, I just couldnt stick it any longer so I was off sick for 5 months. Staff support said ...get a new job...nothing will change it's been going on for years. I went back every time hoping things would improve but now I'm at the end of my tether. So here I am. There are times I think I should have taken out the grievance but from subsequent events, where nothing was done, I realise it wouldnt have made any difference. Sorry this is sooo long but hopefully this explains why I need to leave . I stayed because I am in a speciality that has limited opportunities and vacancies in a small geographical area. I'm lucky I've found something I can do but I've had to take a pay cut to be able to escape it.

I sent an email to the director on the last day, spilling the beans but keeping the tone professional.

Found out from ex colleagues after I'd left that my manager had noticeably changed her approach so they think she had a talking to! Not just feedback from me but others, I like to think my email helped tho.