Resigning nurse...do I spill the beans at the exit interview

[Crazymaisienumber9]

So I've been in my specialist nurse job for about 12 years. Over this time I've been bullied, unsupported and generally treated badly by colleagues and management....much like every other nurse out there really ! Anyway I've accepted a job in another trust at a lower pay grade because I just cant face staying any longer. I'm resigning tomorrow and have to give 3 months notice. The question is do I say anything at my exit interview about certain elements of my experience and treatment, or is it better to let sleeping dogs lie. I'm 55 this year and unlikely to ever be back in this trust again.

I’m nhs management and our Trust would want honesty. We’ve moved on sisters and matrons who are bullies but you can’t do that without evidence. I’m really sad reading your post. Unfortunately a good nurse didn’t necessarily make a good manager. I hope you are happy in your new role but please know that nursing and bullying existing together isn’t always the norm. Bit identifying but my trust has a 0% nursing vacancy rate so we’re doing something right. Good luck!

@user15412486546

Does anywhere actually do anything with what they are told in exit interviews?

They've always seemed more about putting on a public performance of how much the organisation cares about staff blah blah blah but then the feedback all goes in the bin.

I sometimes think it can just mark that person's card, and if every they apply for a job there again (it can happen, especially if management changes or a better paid opportunity comes up some years later), they look back at their record. If it was a general non-specific whinge about management, it can look bad, so it's always best to think, "how will my comments look to a 3rd party reading it in isolation". If it's along the lines of "x manager was shite, they didn't know their arse from their elbow, the company is full of incompetents" it can reflect back on the feedback-giver, even if that's unfair.

However in this situation, if done professionally, the ability to talk about specific aspects of bullying, isolation, poor behaviour, can be useful if the company genuinely wants to try and change their culture.

My advice is take care how the exit interview is done, and always balance it with positives (there must have been some!)

I said something while I was still working in a company about the company practices. It made a difference. I also designed a role for myself as my role was ridiculously easy but needed two of me. The company heeded me, got me a temp and changed business practices. But was too proud to give me the role. They created it after I left. It was a very misogynistic organisation, where men took the decisions. They worked to protect the business, not me.

This is about you and what you want. Do you want to help your colleagues in the same boat? And if you want to say this, maybe I’m too forward, but my thought was why wouldn’t you have tried to sort this before making the move?

I work in HR op although not for the NHS. I have been desperate for people to be honest in exit interviews

I run an NHS organisation. We are the same. Recruiting staff is expensive and time-consuming. If people are leaving because they are unhappy, we want to know.

If it's as bad as you say, why have you never raised it before? It's a real concern that both management and colleagues have bullied you.

A well phrased exit interview can be very helpful. If there are others change can happen but I would say it in sorrow and with goodwill rather than in anger and try to emphasise the impact it has on oractice and patient care rather than on your feelings.

Good luck in your new job.

I left my job in the trust I’d worked in for 15 years due to bullying, lack of support, discrimination due to MH by management (was told I not to take time off when becoming depressed as it’d be seen as a sign of weakness and I wouldn’t keep my seconded post if I did. I took A/L and lost the secondment) etc.
I’d happily have raised all this at the exit interview, but wasn’t offered one. I also received a letter accepting my resignation and wishing me “all the best in your future career.” Had anyone asked they’d have known I was leaving without a new job, let alone a career, because of the effects stress due to work issues was having on my physical and mental health.

Please contact your Freedom to Speak Up Guardian, this is what they are there for

In your shoes I would.
One job I left after 13 years. I refused and just said all the issues in my grievance still stood!

I'll buck the trend and say no just keep your mouth shut and be glad to be out of there. Really doubt anything will change and you don't want to take the risk of any repercussions however unlikely that may feel at this point.

During an office move, someone found a heap of exit interviews piled up in a cupboard that HR had dumped.

I’m nhs too.

It might be cathartic, but they won’t address it.

No. Because the standard line seems to be that as you're leaving we can't pursue it as a grievance and nothing changes. Could you not have gone to your union before you decided it was so bad that leaving was the only answer?

Good luck in the new role.

‘We can’t pursue as a grievance as you are leaving’

Thats not true though, is it? Employees and ex employees can legally raise a formal grievance.

Yes I think you should tell them everything, as long as it won't have any repercussions for you - i.e. you have already had all the references you need and are sure you won't be returning there. You'd be burning a bridge so have to think about it carefully.

The fact that you are leaving to take a lower paid job says it all really. It must have been pretty bad. And a bad working environment is bound to impact on patient care - which is not OK. It needs addressing.

Good luck.

@divafever99

In my experience doing this causes you a lot of stress, and will change nothing (I am a nurse). I'm glad you have found new job, it's sad so much of this goes on in the nursing profession.

I agree and burning bridges is rarely a good idea.

I agree with the majority - I would say why you’re leaving. Obviously be tactful and mindful of the bridge you’re burning, but if you don’t speak up then nothing will change.

JonHamm. Agree that you can and probably they bit their tongue on 'cant be arsed to'. Sadly a cultural mindset that is not unique to one organisation.

I would.

I used to love working for the NHS. Really believed in it. I actually had a great group of colleagues but the wider culture was depressing, so short staffed, i used to hate phoning people to discuss cases or ask for a referral because I always got tuts and sighs about adding to. their workload.

I moved into a lower paid job, not NHS but also governmental. Bloody hell. The bosses nearly always thank me for my work at the end of shift. If I ask someone to take on a job it’s “yes of course” or they will find the person who can take it. I get senior staff offering to help with interview technique for promotion, or to secure access to new systems to make me more productive.

I used to think NHS workers were good people making the best of a bad situation. Only now I’m out do I see that short staffing and lack of funding is no excuse for the way staff are treated.

Tell them.

I've brought up.bullying,division of labour, people getting "acting up" positions with no interviews in supervisions and nothing has been done so if ts anything like my trust nothing will ever be done

@Newname1236

I've brought up.bullying,division of labour, people getting "acting up" positions with no interviews in supervisions and nothing has been done so if ts anything like my trust nothing will ever be done

People airing grievances in exit interviews that haven't been mentioned before just looks like very sour grapes (I am not saying this is you, just what it looks like). It looks like throwing a bomb into a room and running out, figuratively. You have no idea what will happen with your new job. Don't burn your bridges.

Agree with pp who suggested the Freedom to Speak Up lead. The trust is losing a very experienced and skilled professional who might have stayed but for a toxic work culture. However, the more voices that back up that assertion, the better. The Guardian’s role, as I understand it, is partly to ensure whistleblowers feel safe to speak up.

I wouldn’t bother. I’ve worked in NHS (admin) and the LA and neither of them would do anything. It just means you have burnt your bridges and might jeopardise your reference.
After all you don’t generally have an interview with anyone senior enough to do anything. It’s just a tick box exercise.

Please be careful. Early in my career I gave an honest exit interview to a freelance HR consultant at an awful company, about why I was leaving and why so many others were, too. She turned up at a company I subsequently was offered a job with, and after she had lunch with the recruiting manager, my offer got rescinded. I know I scored highest in the assessment centre, so I have to presume she bad-mouthed me.

Stay professional, stick to documented evidence if possible, and make it clear you are taking a pay cut in order to get out. They can join the dots if they want but they can't pin anything on you that could hurt you later.

This is so sad to read. No one should be bullied in any job. Nursing is stressful enough without that. I am not a nurse, but several friends are and I see them after their 12 hour shifts. . . exhausted.

How do these people who bully and generally don't do their jobs properly in supporting colleagues sleep at night? Are they generally unpleasant in their private lives too?

OP, having had a bullying boss in the past (not NHS though) I think you're doing the right thing in leaving. I left my job and it was the best thing for my mental health.

This is unfortunately endemic within the NHS and seen as perfectly normal! If you are honest it won't change a thing.