Those who left a bad job: What was your 'I have to leave' moment?

[CloudsCanLookLikeSheep]

I'm in the process of trying to leave a job, which is well paid and stable, so you are probably thinking why to do such a thing in a recession, but I am working for a narcissistic, bullying boss who insists on micromanaging me and undermining me in front of my clients.

My 'I have to get out' moment is when I realised she had get again hijacked my work, going behind my back/without my knowledge to the client and completely changing all the advice I'd given,/work I'd done but then cc'ing me on an email to client to make a minor change on a document she'd provided to let them know who was really in charge and publicly humiliating me further. Yes, it's a recession and the job market is screwed and I'm lucky to have an income until I can find something else, but I can't stay any longer working for someone like that.

Anyone else care to share their war stories?

[quote ittooshallpass]@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep I know how hard it is to be miserable in your job, but please don't leave a job now with nothing to go to. I got made redundant due to coronavirus in June and still can't get anything... despite looking at any job and being prepared to take a pay cut.

It's easier said than done - but mentally switch off and enjoy handing your notice in when you have a new job to go to.[/quote]
I know, if it was not for coronavirus I would have left a while back but... coronavus.

I decided today to just accept this job is a much needed pay check, no more, and I have put my ambition/career plan in a metaphorical box to pull out when it's all over.

At the end of the day I'd be swapping the stress of working for her for the bigger stress of job security/income was I to leave.

@CloudsCanLookLikeSheep the number of awful bosses out there is so high. I have continually reflected on my last 3 jobs (I left each one because of horrible senior men - it's been nearly 10 years since I left a job in a positive way) to try to work out my part in it all and I am fairly sure the only crime I committed was not being a sycophant.

But it wears you down and I'm now finding that the last few experiences have eroded my confidence significantly. Add to that my current boss and I'm not even able to be articulate in an interview setting - in my head a voice is telling me I've done nothing of any value for years so I shouldn't bother.

I have one potential opportunity that I'm focusing on but like you, I'm mainly resigned to the current state of play. Trying very hard to take several steps back, remove any emotional attachment and take what I can for my cv but that's much harder to do than it sounds.

Good luck and do DM me if you want a moral support buddy!

I’d been unhappy for a while but good money and hours kept me there. Final straw was being furloughed since March and then the only staff member not to return in August. I felt worthless, undervalued and anxious about job security. My colleagues were told not to tell other staff (ie: me) they were back. When I questioned manager she spoke a load of twaddle about my hours not fitting in with flexible furlough. Decided to start applying for jobs, got 4 interviews the first week. First interview, loved ethos of company etc, But they wanted to offer me a more senior full time position. I made it clear i didn’t want to work full time. Left interview thinking if only. Next day ignored my phone as didn’t want to be offered job and have to say no. Day after got a call from director, pretty much saying I could choose my hours and salary😀. I start on Thursday. Just to confirm I’ve made the right decision, haven’t heard a thing from my old job.

I left a job because I was expected to do my job and the job of my colleague.

I worked part time hours and she worked full time hours.

She was no longer doing her job because the workload was too high, there was no support from management and no plan to reduce the workload. In the end it was that bad she took her own life.

I tried to keep up with the work but after a year of doing full time hours it got too much so I walked out.

I'd been utterly miserable at a job that was stressful, unfulfilling and basically just a treadmill. It got to the point where I found myself just stopping on the way to work just so I'd have a little bit more time before I went into "that place." Sounds insane now I say it out loud.

But the moment that did it for me was when I saw another employee basically break down in the middle of the office. It made me realise that no, it wasn't me being weak, it was just a terrible job and I had to get out.

When after doing extra shifts, coming in early, staying late, never phoning in sick, basically trying my best to be really good for them for my entire employment, my boss would not allow me to go home early one day when I felt like I was dying. I realised right then that it doesn't matter how much you do, you just don't matter. Sounds dramatic, but a little bit of me died that day, because I had really believed it counted up til then.

When my absolute bitch of a boss insisted I got the 6am train to London to attend a course, training me in something I was already massively overqualified to do.

The 6am wasn’t the problem or the 3 hour train journey to London, it was the fact that I live very rurally and that we had deep snow that week. As I got up and showered at 3am on that cold January morning, dressed, made food, sorted my car and drove an hour into the station (had to be early in case of blocked roads, parking issues etc, I was already fuming.

By the time the totally pointless course finished I decided enough was enough.

I had been regularly working till 10pm - 11pm to help her out of a hole because someone else had left, and yet she had no empathy as to what her demands was doing to my health or wellbeing.

I resigned and never looked back. A year later she was still struggling to find someone to do my job.

Had an American boss managing me remotely from the US (big multinational company with offices all over the world), she wasn't familiar with UK annual leave allowances and our culture of taking holiday - She only had 10 days annual leave every year and even then it was frowned upon to take them, not to mention they all worked US federal holidays, etc.

It was hard enough explaining to her every time I booked leave why I was doing it and the fact I was entitled to it but I remember a few years ago Christmas Day fell on the Saturday so of course being in the UK office had the Monday and Tuesday off due to the bank holidays carrying over (this doesn't happen in the States) so I remember spending the best part of an hour explaining why I was using 3 days annual leave to book the week off and also going through what Boxing Day was as well as the reason our bank holidays carried over.

I handed in my notice the first day back in January and vowed never to work for an American company again.

I knew it was time to throw in the towel the day two men who had always been friendly with one another nearly came to blows right there in the office. I didn’t blame them – my tyrannical, psychopathic boss had created an environment that allowed such a thing to happen. Everyone was stressed and on edge, so the natural progression from there was a fist fight, of course.

My boss was a true psychopath: In-your-face yelling, humiliating me in front of clients and coworkers, cussing me out, the occasional sexually suggestive remark. He was the most arrogant person I have ever met in my life. I couldn’t hang onto an assistant – they all quit. He said I was the problem. No one in the office could stand him, and he didn’t understand why. I mean, the sun shone out of his ass all the live long day, for Christ’s sake.

I’d had enough. A few months after the fight I found another job and gave my notice. It was so liberating. The place I’m at now is wonderful. My boss is amazing and everybody’s sane.

The victim lady who got my previous job lasted three months before she quit.

Dont quit. Go on sick leave and job hunt.

maybe some of us have already had a year off sick with no job hunting success @Chickenwing its not as easy as you seem to think!

I applied for an internal job, which I was more than qualified for and was told I didn't have the relevant experience to get an interview and then was asked to help the new person get up to speed. I had the sudden realisation that I would spend the rest of my career there being belittled because my face didn't fit. Leaving was the best thing I did.

I was sexually harassed by a colleague. In this particular job we worked in pairs, so if you were working together you'd spend all day pretty much alone together.
I reported it, and not only did literally nothing happen to him but my manager refused to change the rotas at all and made me carry on working regularly alone with him.