Returning to covid after mat leave. Aibu?

[Wherestherumgone]

Hi,

I hope I've put this in the right place, apologies if not.

It's quite long so please bare with me as I really need advice please.

Back story: my boss and I have clashed previously and I am now beginning to feel intimidated.

I'm returning to work in a few weeks when my maternity leaves ends. I had previously agreed to a return phased throughout the summer due to childcare issues (my baby is incredibly clingy and won't go to anyone). Pre-Covid my plan was introducing baby slowly to the grandparents for longer periods of time building up to not seeing me for the full day (baby has never been away from me for more than about 4/5hrs and I'll be doing 11hr days with travelling). Anyway Covid hit and husband is also a key worker. The problem is that I now have no childcare due to grandparents in isolation and key workers. I asked my boss if I could work from home but there are no laptops left so she expects me in the office. I explained that with no childcare and no laptop that wont be possible. I have contacted the council for emergency childcare however they have said that if a place is available now it wont be reserved for any date and if someone needs it then they take it. So that doesn't help. (Also cant see baby being left with a stranger they've never met for 40hrs a week).

I don't know what else to do. When I've spoken to my boss she said I either take unpaid leave or use my annual leave to take the whole of May off. Whilst I don't mind using some annual leave I dont want to use it all as I'll still be in the same position when covid ends that my baby won't go to anyone. I also feel like it was a first come first served with the laptops and because I wasn't in the office I wasn't thought about. There are many other people that have no additional responsibility childcare etc and are not high risk that I would "trump" so to speak - not that I am suggesting taking their laptop or anything like that - just that this hasnt Ben decided fairly.

My husband is frontline and cannot take any time off. He's working 6day weeks as it is and is unreliable due to shifts. He is also potentially moving out to protect us.

Whilst I do have more a/l than normal as I carried some over from last year it was always my plan to return phased using this. If I use it all now I wont be able to help my daughter further down the line.
When I've looked into the FAQs surrounding this it states "special Covid" leave should be used as its childcare related. I contacted HR (as did my boss) and they suggested that I use a/l but surely they cant make me use it? I've not got that many more hours than anyone as it's the start of the new leave year. Also from speaking to colleagues none of them have had to use a/l, in fact they've been told they can cancel if its not needed. There consistently seems to be "a rule for one and another for someone else" in my workplace.

I also dont want to expose my children more than necessary. By putting them to emergency childcare im exposing them, my husband will be exposed and so will I when there are others in the team who arent exposing themselves one bit yet my family are getting hit at all sides and I also have the youngest kids in the team.

Whilst on mat leave I was also not told about job vacancies especially the one in my team which was the next band up- I thought this was something that had to be done?

Please help. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but this is stressing me out. I potentially have an autoimmune disease and I'm waiting on seeing the consultant but the stress is flaring my symptoms up too.

I'm not even back at work yet and I'm miserable with the stress.

Thank you.

Can they not furlough you? Legally I don't think they're doing anything wrong (although I'm not an expert so I could be incorrect) but they are being pretty unreasonable and honestly, I wouldn't be keen to return to a company who were so unwilling to support you.

Thanks for your reply.

No I asked and was told that's not possible. I really don't want to return, my boss makes everything difficult and I've spent my whole mat leave looking for jobs. I feel it has been ruined because of this. I've tried so hard to find something else but I haven't been successful (what I do is very niche) but I've been so worried about returning anyway that it's taken the enjoyment out of my leave and this is the icing on the cake. Plus because I'm "challenging" her decision I'm genuinely fearful of her attitude when I do return.
I've joined my union but havent been able to talk to anyone yet.

Just take the unpaid leave that they are offering? There's no way I would be putting my baby into childcare at the moment unless both parents were Key Workers and there was no other way around it! If this takes your household income low enough then you would be able to apply for universal credit to top up anyway.

Do you know how it was decided who would get a laptop? It feels quite unfair you were overlooked just because you were on mat leave.

Can’t you use your own laptop or buy one if you don’t have one?

Thanks everyone.

We are both "essential" workers and apparently tiered as a 1 and 2 by the council so definitely qualify for the childcare. However I know that my team are not working on any of the "essential" things that meet the criteria at the moment. My husband however is and its important for him to stay at work and can't be taking the time off just now for childcare as he is completely embedded in covid duties. Completely aware and understand that childcare is also his issue, he isn't unwilling just that it's harder for him to take it off and it makes more sense for me as I haven't been in work for almost a year whereas he is in the thick of it all. Reluctant to put children in to childcare as like I said we'll all be directly at risk 😔. I dont think I could live with myself if they caught it through this. Plus baby is still breastfeeding just about ever 2hrs so she'll be miserable if all of a sudden she's away from me without any sort of trials. One day I'm just up and gone for 40hrs a week and shes left with a stranger.

@violetbunny I believe they sent a bit of paper round and you selected if you wanted to work from home or the office...

@MakeLemonade not anymore. Apparently for a while you could do but IT are no longer allowing people to set up their own ones. I'm going to phone them today and see if they'll make an exception as I have previously worked from home and have accounts etc so not a new user but never on my home laptop.

I believe they have ordered more laptops but it's around 3months for them to arrive and get all the systems put on to them so that's no use now.

There are a number of inconsistencies in your op. I suspect that is because you are letting it all out in your annoyance.

Have you made your request in writing?
I suggest that key points would include the fact that you feel like you are being differently due to maternity leave, and that you would like to take to offer extended to the rest of the team and work from home for you and your family's safety.

The bf argument is weak as you would have resolved that for a return in normal circs

I would suggest that you offer to use some Al as part of a phased return - perhaps the excess amount you gave carried over. Either at the start or each week. Request that a laptop is made available.

Did you say council? Are you in a union?

It’s not ideal but your baby will be fine in childcare - it will take a few days for them to settle in then they will be fine, just as millions of other kids before them have been. Either use the childcare that is provided (and lucky you for being able to access it, two key workers here and couldn’t get any), pay for someone to nanny in your home (this is what we have done, it’s annoying as we are also paying nursery fees for a nursery that is closed but the kids are happy) or take unpaid leave. I’m really not sure what else you hope people are going to suggest.

Take the al.
Write and officially request that you are on a waiting list for a laptop or to be able to work from home send this to boss and also hr.

To put it bluntly you are asking your employer to make adjustments but what are you prepared to do to help your employer? Often a bit of give and take can help.

I personally dont think the laptop allocation is one to moan about as these are unprecedented times and they just got on with the job in hand.

Can you afford to take the unpaid leave?

@fartyface hi sorry yes extremely annoyed and overwhelmed by it all. Is there anything I can clear up for you?
I have very recently joined a union but not been able to speak to anyone yet due to the holidays.the council are the ones who provide the childcare just now and we need to go through them.
I emailed and asked to work from home for 2 days around my husbands shifts (doing my hours for 2days but across the week instead of 2 whole days because of his shifts) and then a mixture of annual leave and carer/special leave for my other two days and this would be for the whole of May. We then had a phone call to follow this up and it was denied. I was told to come into the office on the two days I could work and annual leave/unpaid leave for the rest. I again explained that's not possible as I have no childcare (council cant guarantee a place) and I cant do two full days they have to be around my husbands shifts. They said that no laptops means that there is no provision to work from home therefore I must travel to the office despite the fact that there was no consideration for me as I wasnt there. The other option is to use all of my annual leave to take May off or to take it all as unpaid.

Breastfeeding isnt an argument just another thing to take into consideration. I would like to think under normal circumstances she would be feeding less as she would be use to going to grandparents and building up from there. She has always refused a bottle and has food allergies so again another reason that putting her to a stranger is not beneficial to her. I'm not using this to form my argument purely more reasons why I would like to phase her into childcare which I will need my a/l to use then once covid is over. My husband is off on a sunday and I offered to work then but was told no. I have put forward a problem but also solutions which I understand arent ideal but it feels as though there is no leeway at all.

@welshweasel I completely understand. I wasn't sure what options I had which is why I wanted to ask. You've kindly provided the idea of a nanny which I hadnt considered so certainly something to think about now so thanks! I more wanted opinions of if they can force me to use all my annual leave now when I do need it for childcare in the future especially since I seem to have been left put of the division of laptops originally. Also the fact that the childcare I'll have to use (if provided because it's not set in stone) I will never have met this person before, dont know anything about their ethos and possibly may not have went with them given a choice. Obviously I understand the situation at the moment and thankful if any can be provided.

Thank you to you and your partner for being key workers.

@justdontatme no not really. Mat leave has taken its toll financially and any days husband takes off too are unpaid. He is given his holiday dates at the start of the year and cant just apply for days off due to the nature of his work.

@ArnoldBee totally understand that. I feel as though I have put forward solutions, yes they all revolve around laptops which they dont have and I understand they cant just get one out of thin air but as it stands right now I have no childcare. Had I been taken into consideration when they allocated laptops I am fairly certain i would have got one and this wouldn't even be a issue now.

I think your key point here is the fact that you weren't considered like the rest of the employees, and that's maternity discrimination. Your employer could have considered your need to wfh as a higher need than someone else and distributed the existing laptops differently.

You need to speak to both Hr and the union. Ask Hr why you weren't contacted like everyone else was and why you are not being given the same options. Ask for a response in writing/email.

Can you afford to take unpaid leave? Don't use all your holidays they cannot make you do that and you will need them later in the year.

Also consider starting to get baby on a bottle/expressed milk.

The only unreasonable thing they have done is to not make you aware of the vacancy within the team, you are supposed to have equal opportunity to apply and be considered as someone in the office. I would take that further with the union if you wanted to. I don't think that the rest is that unreasonable really, I say this as someone who has extended mat leave unpaid because it's not feasible to go back at the moment.

If you want a new job anyway, taking annual leave or unpaid leave will buy you time. I don't think it's wildly unreasonable that you weren't allocated a laptop, people began working from home a good few weeks ago if they were following guidance, and it would be unfair now to take one off of someone for you (no you don't 'trump' anyone else because you have a baby), unless literally every other person has one aside from you. If they are ordering more for 3 months time could you hold off until then using a mixture of leave and unpaid leave?

Ultimately employers can't discriminate because you have children, but they also don't have to bend over backwards to accommodate, especially at the moment when everything is up in the air. Most people aren't a huge fan of leaving their little one in childcare, but I am sure they would be okay, again, no offense but that's not an employer's problem. You would also be hard pushed to work alongside looking after them at home, so don't think having a laptop would solve your problems. Good luck OP, as you have acknowledged it isn't normal times, realistically you seem set on not going in, so utilise the reasonable options of annual leave etc surely?

On forcing annual leave - I'm afraid I don't think they are forcing you to take it. They're giving you three options: work from the office, take annual leave, take unpaid parental leave. I totally understand that none of those are what you want and so you feel forced in to a corner.

If laptops are on order, could you afford to take unpaid leave (or a mix of unpaid and annual) for the three month wait, and then work from a laptop?

Your employer could have considered your need to wfh as a higher need than someone else and distributed the existing laptops differently.

Someone would have then had to go into the office for an additional month whilst the laptop sat unused in the middle of a global pandemic, do you think that is fair?

I think @StealthMama has it. You need to focus on the fact that you weren’t given the same working options as other members of the team. Not having laptops is pretty flimsy, they have a bit of time to find you one, you are already set up to wfh. This is a completely reasonable request on your part. Otherwise unpaid leave and claim UC?

OP I have total sympathy with you. But the reality is this isn't about a laptop. Working from home with a one year old and no childcare will be impossible. It really will. My youngest is 5 and even with her 9 year old sister to help with her it's still a massive challenge.

I think you need to use paid or unpaid leave and focus on post Covid job hunting. I'm sorry it sucks, but this situation sucks for everyone.

IANAL

Re laptops, if they only had a limited stock (which they are now waiting to replenish)
And 3-4 weeks ago when this all kicked off they allocated those laptops to people who were already working, and working full time rather than 2 days a week, then that doesn't seem unreasonable. Good idea to investigate whether you can use your home laptop if you've done so previously.

I appreciate it's more uncertainty loaded onto a time when it's natural to have missed emotions and to feel anxious about coming back after May leave.

What @Grobagsforever said! I have a 14 month old and struggle to do meaningful housework when I’m at home with him, let alone work! You’ll need childcare either way.

Have you only just joined your union? You may find that they can't help on this issue. Union membership is a bit like insurance, something you start because you believe in helping others and to have as a safety net. Joining only when you have a problem isn't really in the spirit of things, and given how time-consuming and expensive it can be for them to sort out cases, many unions wont be able to help on pre-existing matters.

I would take the route StealthMama has suggested. If they had some sort of consultation about people working at home and people working at the office, why were you not included? You weren't consulted so you didn't get a choice that everyone else got.

Write an e-mail to your HR department and just basically say there was a consultation on the office/wfh situation and you weren't considered in it for some reason so you are now just being told you must work at the office but no one else was told that, they got a choice basically.

That might get them worried about maternity discrimination. Also, why can't they buy a bloody laptop for you? If it's a fairly big company and everyone is still working, they can order you a laptop for a couple of hundred pounds! It sounds like an excuse

They are giving you options and you need to take one of them. There really is no other option at this stage (and frankly as an employer I would argue very hard at this stage and during a pandemic that a laptop absolutely should have gone to someone who could use it a month earlier than you. I don’t know what industry you are in but our business has zero cash for extra laptops currently although so people are using their own). If you cannot afford annual leave or unpaid leave then you will have to find childcare. Annual leave seems the best option if you need to be paid. Ain’t going to be a lot of jobs around post this crisis so I’d think very carefully about how you handle this if you need the money.