Returning to covid after mat leave. Aibu?

[Wherestherumgone]

Hi,

I hope I've put this in the right place, apologies if not.

It's quite long so please bare with me as I really need advice please.

Back story: my boss and I have clashed previously and I am now beginning to feel intimidated.

I'm returning to work in a few weeks when my maternity leaves ends. I had previously agreed to a return phased throughout the summer due to childcare issues (my baby is incredibly clingy and won't go to anyone). Pre-Covid my plan was introducing baby slowly to the grandparents for longer periods of time building up to not seeing me for the full day (baby has never been away from me for more than about 4/5hrs and I'll be doing 11hr days with travelling). Anyway Covid hit and husband is also a key worker. The problem is that I now have no childcare due to grandparents in isolation and key workers. I asked my boss if I could work from home but there are no laptops left so she expects me in the office. I explained that with no childcare and no laptop that wont be possible. I have contacted the council for emergency childcare however they have said that if a place is available now it wont be reserved for any date and if someone needs it then they take it. So that doesn't help. (Also cant see baby being left with a stranger they've never met for 40hrs a week).

I don't know what else to do. When I've spoken to my boss she said I either take unpaid leave or use my annual leave to take the whole of May off. Whilst I don't mind using some annual leave I dont want to use it all as I'll still be in the same position when covid ends that my baby won't go to anyone. I also feel like it was a first come first served with the laptops and because I wasn't in the office I wasn't thought about. There are many other people that have no additional responsibility childcare etc and are not high risk that I would "trump" so to speak - not that I am suggesting taking their laptop or anything like that - just that this hasnt Ben decided fairly.

My husband is frontline and cannot take any time off. He's working 6day weeks as it is and is unreliable due to shifts. He is also potentially moving out to protect us.

Whilst I do have more a/l than normal as I carried some over from last year it was always my plan to return phased using this. If I use it all now I wont be able to help my daughter further down the line.
When I've looked into the FAQs surrounding this it states "special Covid" leave should be used as its childcare related. I contacted HR (as did my boss) and they suggested that I use a/l but surely they cant make me use it? I've not got that many more hours than anyone as it's the start of the new leave year. Also from speaking to colleagues none of them have had to use a/l, in fact they've been told they can cancel if its not needed. There consistently seems to be "a rule for one and another for someone else" in my workplace.

I also dont want to expose my children more than necessary. By putting them to emergency childcare im exposing them, my husband will be exposed and so will I when there are others in the team who arent exposing themselves one bit yet my family are getting hit at all sides and I also have the youngest kids in the team.

Whilst on mat leave I was also not told about job vacancies especially the one in my team which was the next band up- I thought this was something that had to be done?

Please help. I don't know if I'm being unreasonable but this is stressing me out. I potentially have an autoimmune disease and I'm waiting on seeing the consultant but the stress is flaring my symptoms up too.

I'm not even back at work yet and I'm miserable with the stress.

Thank you.

To be fair, it doesn't sound as though they are being massively inflexible; they've given you a few different options to make it work, including different types of leave if you want to delay your return. It's not unreasonable of them today they don't want you to work a couple of hours here and a couple of hours there- that would be really disruptive and very hard for them to keep track of when you are contactable (or not) and when things are being done.

It's a shame you missed out on the laptops but being a parent doesn't mean your needs should trump anyone else's that department, especially when you weren't there and there was an immediate need.

And your baby would be fine in childcare if that's what you need to do. Most settings do a couple a settling in sessions and then launch straight in- it takes a few weeks for them to settle but they get used to their new routine quickly. Nurseries are used to dealing with children who are breastfed and children who have allergies. In the nicest possible way, and I totally understand because I've been there, you are being really precious about your little one on the childcare front. That's fine in that parents are supposed to be precious about their babies, but I can absolutely see why your employer is not willing to budge further.

Thanks for your perspectives everyone. Wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable and asking for the moon on a stick. Looks like I'll have to do some number crunching to see if unpaid leave will work.

Completely agree that a laptop shouldn't be taken off of someone else and because I have children but I should have been contacted since my return was imminent and my needs concerned along with everyone else. My point there is that there a members of my team who have another parent at home who is either working from home, furloughed, no children/other responsibility or not in isolation/ quarantine etc and therefore from that perspective it would be easier for them to make it into the office. Whereas my family now has to be put at risk from all fronts therefore increasing the odds of catching it and I have to use leave I had reserved for childcare purposes when had I been contacted this could have been avoided.

With regards to the childcare setting - I understand that normally they would get a settling in session but that's not been offered under the circumstances as they cant guarantee they can even provide care at the moment.

Thanks again everyone

But if you're returning in a few weeks and this has already been going on for a few, that's potentially 2 months that someone else has been able to work from home and use a laptop. It is expecting a lot to want them to have held onto it for that long at the moment, if you were returning within a week or two of it kicking off then that's understandable. A laptop isn't the answer anyway, if your husband is out of the house a lot it would be impossible to do any meaningful work whilst looking after a baby, mine is deployed and I worked from home for a few days before admitting defeat. If you can withstand it financially it will probably be a lot less stressful not having to worry about it and maybe even being able to enjoy extra time off with little one despite everything. It's a rubbish situation all round really, but sensible to keep with your employer for now because the job market doesn't look good for when this is over.

@YappityYapYap

The argument about WFH consultation won't stand if there are also other employees that wanted to do this but were not given the choice.

Where my DH works, all staff were asked about WFH, but not everyone was allowed, my DH included, as it just wasn't feasible.

OP, your argument should be that the government have advised employers that anyone who CAN do their job at home should be encouraged to do so. Be aware though, your employer may still require you to be available during core hours whilst WFH. both my DDs and their DHs are WFH and have to be available during core hours for conference calls etc. Their employers can check this by checking their online access and activity to the servers.

I'm afraid the point you're making about other employees having a partner at home, no children, older children etc is completely irrelevant. Your employer has to treat every employee equally having given due regard to any protected characteristic. Being a parent isn't one. When this whole lockdown started, it was initially for 3 weeks, so would potentially have been over before you returned to work, which may be why your employer didn't include you in the laptop allocation. Obviously as time has gone on, that's now not the case. Precisely when does your mat leave end? It may well be that by then, things will have changed again. You have a choice. Put your baby in childcare now to get them used to it so you can guarantee that when you return to work you do have childcare sorted. Or take unpaid leave.

Are you in the Civil Service by any chance? It's just you said that you're a key worker and mentioned "covid special leave" for childcare which sounds like my department...

I've recently been in the same position. I have just returned to work following maternity leave and am working from home with a baby. Our set up is that any hours we can't work due to childcare we can claim as paid special leave, so in theory of I couldn't do any work on a particular day it would be covered by paid special leave for childcare due to covid-19.

Any staff that are off due to childcare and cannot do their jobs at home are being paid full special leave. We're not expected to use the childcare/school unless we're comfortable doing so.

The union are working to align all govt. departments to this where possible. I see you mentioned you recently joined the union, so try and get some advice, it might be that the best option for you whilst you don't have the laptop is paid special leave if that's generally what the consensus is for other staff.

You really don't have to do unpaid leave. You should have been given the same options as everyone else, and weren't. The only reason you weren't was because you were on mat leave. Women become invisible. This is black and white discrimination.

Most people on here seem to think that's ok and you should suck it up, Which is why we don't argue enough and employers continue to get away with it and ignore the law.

Really, you should write a calm and collected letter to hr asking for the same options to be made available that were to everyone else. And if not why not.

Your employers ability to get you a laptop is their problem, not yours. If it can't be done then they should negotiate agreeable terms in the interim with you, not forced terms that don't work for you.

But the fact they are treating you differently at all is discriminatory. Anything else around other people, laptops, breastfeeding is irrelevant. That are treating you differently because you had a baby and weren't in the office at the time. You have protected employment rights on maternity leave, no matter who you work for.

Phone ACAS if you want some independent advice and guidance.

Any staff that are off due to childcare and cannot do their jobs at home are being paid full special leave. We're not expected to use the childcare/school unless we're comfortable doing so

This would fail the daily mail test.

I also think @StealthMama is correct on this. Maternity is a protected characteristic for a reason, because women have been consistently discriminated against on the basis of it.

Also I disagree with the others that putting a baby in 40hrs of formal childcare is just ‘fine’, especially with no settling in. I don’t agree that this is good for young children - sometimes is absolutely necessary for people but I would never consider that an option in a child so young, I’d rather leave my job. Not everyone’s view but it’s not reasonable to think everyone should suck this up unquestioningly because it’s right for some people.

@Merename and actually many if not all nurseries have a settling in policy due that reason. It's known that it is bad for the baby to be taken from their primary career in this fashion.

@Wherestherumgone why should you loose your salary because they cocked up? How is that fair to your family? And by they I mean your manager - it was his/her responsibility to account for you, but they forgot about you. And in fairness to them, managers aren't trained in maternity law - they learn as they go and the first option they provided you with breaks that law. They won't know any better until you point it out....

Either way - hr should advise them as much as you - but please do phone acas, they will be really helpful to you.

OP, I have just looked on the Maternity Action website and they advise that women returning from mat leave who cannot now do so due to childcare issues as a result of Covid can be furloughed. It would seem that this should be considered for you. I'd send this to your manager.

maternityaction.org.uk/covidmaternityfaqs/maternity-leave-and-return-to-work/

I would just use the unpaid leave and holiday until things improve. Your baby will be older by then. have you asked if maybe once you do go back you could drop a day or do condensed hours ?

I don't think that your employer is being unfair or unreasonable

Options

Take unpaid leave until end May, when the lockdown may have eased

Take annual leave/parental leave until end of May. Look at www.gov.uk for advice about parental leave, which may be unpaid

Pay for childcare,so that you can go into the office

Request a laptop or use your own to work from home

Request part time work formally

Internal vacancies were these available to you via email or internal internet while you were on maternity leave ?

Have any other of your colleagues returned from maternity and what are they doing ?

If you’re due back in a few weeks time, can’t you tell the council that you need to start the childcare now, so that the baby can settle in? If they can’t provide it then you tell your employer that none is available.
I echo what others have said- without childcare working will not be possible so it all hinges on that really, forget the laptop, it’s a red herring. Sounds like you have another child too? Even more reason that childcare is needed.

You haven’t gone into any detail about the reasons they have for not being able to furlough you- the guidance making it clear that employers can furlough employees unable to work because of childcare commitments even if there is work available for them to do came in a bit after the furlough scheme was launched- is it possible that they have missed this?

Good luck, it’s all a nightmare. We have been employing a worker from my son’s preschool to mind him while I work. I’m not entirely comfortable with the situation but she lives alone and walks to our house so it was the best I could do.

If OP is a civil servant then they won't be able to be furloughed. Might not be of course, but just one reason why furlough might not be possible, also really if there is work to be done employers shouldnt be doing it. They have given what seem like reasonable options to be honest, take some annual leave or unpaid and try and make the most of the rest of your time off. It's a rubbish situation for a lot of people, but it seems like you do have viable options.

also really if there is work to be done employers shouldnt be doing it.
No, I don’t think that is correct if the employee has childcare responsibilities. The change was lobbied for very hard, to remove that distinction.

I did wonder if there might be some other reason why she couldn’t be furloughed, hopefully she’ll come back on and clarify.

OP, have you looked at pregnantthenscrewed.com? Lots of useful advice on there.

Thanks all for your response.

There have been a good few responses and links, all of which I have read an taken on board so I'll quickly recap where we are:

I do work in the civil service therefore they have absolutely said no to furlough.

I have spoken to both Acas and my union who believe I do have a case which centres around the laptop and the equality act. Essentially if I had not been on leave there's a high chance I may not be in this situation. I'll be having a TC next week to see how we move forward.

They can ask me to use only the carried over portion of my annual leave - that is a reasonable request of theres. If childcare is not available then it is special/carer leave as in the FAQs. This is from the union.

It looks like I'll use a mixture of various types of leave to see me through either until a laptop becomes available/May and hopefully come June I can get back into the office and reconnect with other adults!

Thanks for your help. I would have just accepted the issues otherwise instead of looking into it further and now hopefully we can all come to an arrangement that works.

Can't you or they just buy another laptop? What am I missing here?

I still don't understand how a laptop would help you work from home OP. You have a one year old. Working with a one year old is basically impossible.

I echo @grobagsforever. You say in your update:

It looks like I'll use a mixture of various types of leave to see me through either until a laptop becomes available/May and hopefully come June I can get back into the office and reconnect with other adults!

but you keep mentioning the laptop, not the childcare. Surely it’s the childcare you need if you are going to work? As I understand it, the key worker childcare is either not available at all, or not suitable for your child (I fully understand why it might not be). Do you see the original grandparents plan becoming feasible by May?

Can't you or they just buy another laptop? What am I missing here?

If it's CS, then no. Well, they can, but not just one from Argos and then it's up and ready to be used.

The laptop wouldn't help you anyway, it doesn't sort out your childcare so not really sure why the focus is on that. I bet if someone in the office had contacted ACAS during a global pandemic and the union a month ago saying I have requested a laptop but been rejected because they are keeping one unused for a month for x to get back to work they would have also said that's unfair. The crux is whether in the office or at home you can't work and look after a one year old, you have been given reasonable options so .

Are you entitled to parental leave OP? I’m civil service and our parental leave has been extended to ten days for the year. This has meant I’ve been able to take one day a week for ten weeks to reduce my working hours and balance childcare needs. This is paid leave too so worth asking about.

I would also say our department has been told to “do what we can” with regards to working and balancing childcare. I’d ask to be sighted on all your departments updates in relation to them managing covid too and see what’s being said. It might be quite contradictory compared to what your line manager is telling you.

Lastly please don’t let them get away with the discrimination - they have absolutely discriminated against you by not keeping you up to date with the vacancies and by not thinking about you when managing the pandemic. Request their family friendly policy and there should be something in there about keeping you briefed. You can use this wording back to them in your meeting. You would also be within your rights to raise a grievance with regards to this treatment - keep that card close to your chest for now though and see how the meeting goes.

This is why the CS needs trimming further, no idea of the real world.