How to handle office 'dragon'

[DorsetCamping]

Apologies for the monologue

So I have just gone back to work after being a SAHM for some years. Previously worked in an office so you'd think I would be hardened to this shit

I work Bank hours for the HR dept at our local hospital which works out at 3 days per week. I've only been there a fortnight (so far worked total of just 3days) but already thinking of leaving. Most of the team are lovely but one woman (lets call her Jane) seems to have made it her mission to make me feel as uncomfortable as possible. Unfortunately it is Jane that needs to show me the ropes as my job runs parallel to hers and ironically should make her job less pressured as she's been doing the work of 2 people.

As I have only worked 3 days in total and the work is totally new to me, hence the need to be supported and feel able ask questions about the tasks I am undertaking. A major part of the job is electronic filing, of which there are several databases and system drives. The last thing I want is to get it wrong and someone doesn't get paid! However, Already Jane is pausing for a split second before looking up at me to answer, or I get "I've already told you that, do you not remember". I'll get an answer through gritted teeth. Also lots of whispering (which of course may not be about me at all!) but with glances over at me and subtle pointing.

I am going out of my way to be pleasant and use my initiative. I have lots of experience, albeit in indirect fields and am well educated but this woman is making me feel like a stupid teenager . I like to feel I am a quick learner but I am having so many different tasks thrown at me and expected to keep pace that I am already panicking and starting to dread going in.

Jane has worked in the dept 30+ years and has just turned 60 but no mention of retirement despite not being in the great health, so I suspect there may be some resentment at having to still work. Maybe she feels I am there to take her job, who knows?

What makes it worse is that everyone else,(manager included) seem to fawn over her which would make it really uncomfortable if I were to raise the issue. Part of me just wants to walk away; although I need to the money, I am too old for this shit. However the other part is outraged that she can do this and the issue needs addressing. I do want to do the job as actually find it really interesting but can't put up with this for much longer.

Would welcome advice. Have been out of this environment for so long, should I just suck it up and learn by my mistakes (as this is what will happen if I am made to feel uncomfortable about getting proper support). Am I being a snowflake?

Hi Dorset/camping

You’ve just written my autobiography! Thanks lol

Let me begin by saying I am also about to start in NHS bank - admin. I was told in November and I’m still waiting to start. Was sent my online training months ago and was given a row for taking so long. I have an Occulational Health appointment in March before I can start anywhere.
Well I am disabled (wheelchair user) and all my life I’ve been bullied by one Pratt or another. School, play, college, work. ... and it goes on. I have developed a very thick skin over the years and have been exactly where you are now. I won’t bore everyone with going all the way back to my childhood but I’m sure you’ll get the picture.
Anyway - work! What can I say about working with lovely caring, thoughtful, sensible ‘adults’? Some great, some not great to put it politely. Can I just say to folks here though, and sorry to jump on your post but thanks for the extra ammunition for when I start my new role after a nine year employment gap... I’m ready for them lol.
I’m my experience I make polite digs at people, i ignore snide remarks and chances to being me down. Like others have suggested I make it known by asking if they have an issue with me and if they do I say ok well let me know how we can work to fix it as I always enjoy getting along with my colleagues (makes them cringe!) or if they say they don’t have an issue I will just make a polite remark about the fact I’m here to learn when they are doing and that it won’t be over night. I worked with a couple of old biddies at different times but the one that sticks (in my throat) 😈 always blabbed to the senior administrator that i misfiled something or saved a file in the wrong directory or I kept something aside when I wasn’t supposed to. The minute I got in she would say Julie wants to talk to you: so off I would go to Julie, come back with a big smile when I always always explained my reasons for doing/not doing something which was always to their benefit. I’d say to her ... Julie wants a word (heh heh). Oh she hated my guts. Anyway sorry about the long reply, just wanted to give an insight to my own experience in the hope it helps. Good luck to us both. Xx

By the way I’m now 46

Good timing that she snapped at you with manager in earshot!
You handled it well.
If this doesnt turn out to be the big next step job for you, the Back In To The Workplace (after kids) job for you then you will take what you have learnt about people and yourself to the next job!

@Rocsand03 oh yeh the snitchers, i had one of those in my last job. The job id pinned so much on. She ran to manager with her interpretation of something that was by anybody's reckoningva difficult and unusual set of circumstances to deal with.

I have become more assertive and it has done me good.

My skin is not that thick. Things still hurt or confuse me at times but i am far less likely to just let a shit situation rumble on and on and on without challenging it now.

Rising above dragons doesnt work.

Stopping the dragon in its tracks and offering it the opportunity to verbalise its problem? Much more successful.

Dragons are like eyeliner and cats. They smell fear.

@Rocsand03 I can only imagine the bullshit you have had to put up with over the years. So sorry to hear your story. FWIW I also had to wait 5 months between interview and starting; it's utterly ridiculous especially with how the NHS is desperate for staff!

I think part of the problem is my confidence is rock bottom, mainly from being a SAHM for so long. I take any criticism very personally and expect to be given my marching orders at any given moment. The last thing I feel up to doing is confronting the office bully; it takes every shred of nerve not to turn tail and run. Totally ridiculous; I'm Really hoping that this will pass the longer I am there and the more I start to work as part of a team again/get to grips with the work.

Back in tomorrow, shall see what happens

Just read your thread Dorset, how was going back in?

She did lay off me a bit last week, probably because I was able to do some work independently of her. But there is still an under current in the team which makes me feel uncomfortable and can't say I'm looking forward to going back in tomorrow.

Also I am making notes as fast as I can on the processes but no one is forth coming in helping me to clarify whether I am correct, I just seem to be learning by trial and error which I hate

Oh, I think we all know a Jane!

I suspect she has her tail feathers ruffled because new blood has arrived to shake things up - that's how she'll see you, as a threat, and nothing will change that unfortunately. She'll be thinking that you're there to do her out of a job.

The best way to deal with this situation is to remain respectful and professional - if she says something like, "I told you this before," respond to say, "I appreciate that; however, I just want to be sure as I am new and intend to do a good job." Just come back at her firmly - don't apologise or be submissive - and she'll get the hint.

Janes like to think they're indispensable; all you can do is remain professional and just see it as a job, nothing more; nothing less. Just do your job and go home.

Hey Dorset,
How has it been? I hope she's backed off and is just letting you get on with it.

@rinkytinkpanther thanks for asking and very timely!

So I put up with the continuing shit until yesterday at which point I told my manager I wouldn't be back on Monday (beauty of Bank!).

Tbh it became much bigger than just the Dragon, who's actually been off for 2 weeks. Rather it was the whole dysfunctional and toxic dynamic of the team. Constant bitching about everything and everyone. To faces they would be polite but second anyone's back was turned it turned into a viscous and resentful bitch-fest/blame game. Totally ignored and tolerated by senior management.

Things came to a head yesterday, when I realised that things would only became far worse with the impact of Coronavirus on workload. Decided there and then I'd had enough.

I'm not happy about the situation, I really need the money. But no way in hell i'm putting up with that shit anymore. Worse than being in the playground

Can you not choose shifts elsewhere? I’m picking up my work pass on Monday and meant to start admin bank soon. It’s taken months from my interview til now to start. I don’t know what I’m stepping into now with this virus. I was telling my husband nobody has even spoke to me about how the bank actually works. HR just said they’re nothing to do with bank, and when I call bank it’s all automated! I feel like I’m on my own, it’s so weird

In our hospital Bank and HR are in same office (but of course loathe eachother 🙄), so at least you can get transferred when you ring.

If it's any consolation I was accepted for Bank last May but didn't get given 1st assignment until November! The whole thing is 100% process driven and it takes forever for all the elements to be completed and signed off. IME the only time there is any recruitment urgency is if you are a doctor.

I agree there is no urgency. I'm sorry things didn't work out. Unfortunately there are a lot of women like Jane in the NHS, she sounded very like our office dragon who left at Christmas. We too are waiting for a new member of staff to start who was interviewed at beginning of Feb! How long does it take to recruit

Can I ask a question.... do you have to work if you’re bank stafff or can you opt to stay away with this virus? It’s taken me so long I don’t want to stay I’m not coming but I’m literally terrified as I’m disabled

My understanding is that a Bank assignment can be terminated at any point by the worker or operational manger. There is no contract, just a commitment by the worker to work a certain number of days per year in order to maintain registration.

Therefore if you don't want to work (for whatever reason) that is your prerogative.

What did they say when you told them

During my lunch break I had a meeting with the Bank advisor and told her I'd had enough.
Returned to my desk and said to my manager I needed to leave early for personal reasons. Then emailed my formal decision when I got home.

Was at such a low point couldn't even bring myself to discuss any further with manager, no way would I set foot in that office again whatever whatever she said.

So sorry to hear about your experience, @DorsetCamping. I think you did the right thing.

I had a similar experience in university admin in my early 20s and actually resigned early (temp contract). The dragon was utterly vile and then all sweetness and light to anyone important. She was also best mates with our faculty HR officer so I felt I had nowhere to go and I was too young and inexperienced to challenge her.

I hope you get a new posting soon. I don't know if this is helpful, but I've always found working for smaller organisations, rather than a big one (like in HE or NHS) generally turns out to be less hierarchical. Could a smaller organisation be an option for you?I realised I didn't want to be a tiny fish in the ocean and get swallowed up by all the sharks.

Yes Frances, I agree with you. The NHS is very hierarchical and there is a lot of bullying. Often people turn a blind eye. I've previously worked in the legal sector and no way could people get away with behaving like that. Dorset, you may find a different industry suits you better. I've been in the NHS for only five years and am amazed at some extraordinary management decisions.

I work in the NHS (having come from private sector). It's a very mixed bag IME in terms of standards. Some areas are outstanding and others the absolute lowest of the low.

I think admin and operations with the NHS is particularly poor. I feel like I have stepped thirty years back in time when I go in our admin office. While our Trust continues to employ admin staff on Band 3 nothing will change and the old bats with outdated technical and social skills will continue to reign.

Laughing, exactly! I find it staggering the old systems admin follow in the NHS. Nobody wants to learn a quicker, more efficient system. They want to hang onto their lever arch folders and printing off tons of paper. Admin are woefully outdated.