Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Work

Chat with other users about all things related to working life on our Work forum.

Flip

1 2 3

Original poster

Sick Leave, Boss not happy

68 replies

GreyNosedDonkey · 09/02/2020 22:51

My DSS has been signed off work for 2 weeks due to mental health. He attempted suicide a few months back and has finally started antidepressants. The GP advised him to have 2 weeks off as the medication has side effects and he wasn't coping at work. GP advised him to get out and about and socialise.
DSS found this hard but over the last few days has had lunch with friends and gone to the pub. Now, stupidly or not, he posted a picture on Instagram of his friend holding 2 drinks.
Today, his boss txt him! and said he wasn't happy atall seeing a photo of him drinking when he is meant to be off sick. His boss also said he shouldn't be drinking with the medication (he previously asked DSS what tablets he was on)
The GP actually said that one drink would be ok.
He said he is on sick leave,not holiday and he doesn't expect to see him out and about enjoying himself.
I'm fuming! is the boss right? Poor DSS is devastated and has gone right back to square one re his mental state.

OP posts:

wedding33 · 09/02/2020 22:58

This is a tricky one.
Your DSS should definitely be trying to go out to help his MH - but posting it on social media is probably not a good idea.

Original poster

GreyNosedDonkey · 09/02/2020 22:59

no he realises that now. thing is, the photo wasn't of him and the drinks wernt his but his boss didn't like the fact he was out.

OP posts:

Christmadtree · 09/02/2020 23:05

The old fashioned attitude of if you are sick enough to be off work, you should bed stricken at all times is still around in some businesses unfortunately.

That being said, how much does his boss know of his suicide attempt etc? Without knowing the struggles he's going through, it could look like he's pulling a sickie and going on nights out etc, which is a disciplinary offence if proven that he isn't genuinely ill. In this case I'm assuming he'll have handed in a fit note though, given he's off for 2 weeks?

SpoonBlender · 09/02/2020 23:07

Boss is an idiot and needs retraining.

LimpidPools · 09/02/2020 23:11

This is not up to his boss, who is being both spectacularly ignorant and intrusive. What medication he is taking is absolutely none of his business and he has no right asking, let alone passing comment. Who the hell is he to tell your DSS what he can or can't do while taking it?

DSS would be ill-advised to spend 2 weeks cooped up in the house - that would likely to be very counterproductive. It's great that he's venturing out to see people. That is to be encouraged, and likely to aid his recovery.

He certainly shouldn't be on trial by social media and his boss should not be contacting him when he's signed off sick, on a Sunday.

The fool clearly has a poor understanding of mental health and his role as an employer. This has made me really cross on behalf of your poor DSS.

Original poster

GreyNosedDonkey · 10/02/2020 05:14

Thankyou, I'm glad you agree that his boss was in the wrong to contact him.
It has really upset DSS and pit him right back, progress wise.
But he doesn't want to get into trouble.
The boss knows everything about the suicide attempt as I rang him the next day.

OP posts:

Pixxie7 · 10/02/2020 05:50

Contacting someone at home whilst they are off sick has legal implications.

ivykaty44 · 10/02/2020 05:56

The boss has the fit note , it’s legally binding and from a gp who has more medical knowledge than the boss

Itwasntme1 · 10/02/2020 06:31

Does your step son work for a large company? Is there a he department which could provide advice, or is your son in a union?

As a boss I understand people who are Ill aren’t necessarily lying in bed and will sometimes need to be out of the house. Walking and socialising are frequently advised for mental health issues - and it’s great your step son was able to see his friend.

The boss needs some guidance on how to manage this as clearly he has fallen behind on hr issues

GrumpyHoonMain · 10/02/2020 06:37

In this situation the boss should refer to occupational health before taking any action- they will soon set him straight.

StealthPolarBear · 10/02/2020 06:38

I agree your son has done nothing wrong going to the pub while off sick, however looking at it from his boss's point of view, he has to manage the people who are covering his work as well as their own. Who are presumably a bit stressed and wishing they were in the pub. So I can see why he's annoyed.

SouthWestmom · 10/02/2020 06:52

Fit notes aren't legally binding they are advisory. Depending on the role asking about meds and side effects is acceptable because of risk assessments .

Not sure op I feel for your ds but the going out to the pub is probably a daft thing to post on SM, having said that he can explain he's doing what told. I'm surprised at 2 weeks recommended to take off when starting (I presume) anti depressants, never had that before.

MsMarvel · 10/02/2020 06:56

Boss was totally in the wrong.

My brother was off work with depression, during this time there was a yearly singing competition which my brother normally enters, and doctor encouraged him to still do it. His boss was in the audience with us at the family table, supporting him. I know this is probably unusual at thw other end of the scale, but you dss's boss needs to understand how depression/mental health effects people and the strategies to overcoming it

daisychain01 · 10/02/2020 07:09

Fit notes aren't legally binding they are advisory.

That's splitting hairs. It would be foolhardy for an employer to ignore or challenge the medical advice put on a Fit Note about one of their employees. From that perspective it is legally binding because if they were, for example, to put an employee under duress to return to work even though they have an in-force Fit Note stating they're are not fit to work, there would be legal repercussions if anything were to happen to said employee.

@GreyNosedDonkey whilst it was inappropriate of your DSSs boss to contact him, you'd be doing your DSS a favour if you point out that it's rubbing people's noses In it posting photos on social media. It just gives him a bad reputation and no matter how true it is that being off sick doesn't involve solitary confinement in a darkened room, a bit of discretion is sensible if your DSS wants to be taken seriously at work.

TreeClimbingCat · 10/02/2020 07:16

I was off work for pregnancy related sickness and exhaustion. My boss (lovely woman) said I don't expect you to stay indoors. Your sick note says you are not fit for work ie sitting at a desk for 8 hours. It does not mean you are confined to your bed.

Given the circumstances of your DSS's sick note I think his boss is a complete an utter arse.

Sleepingboy · 10/02/2020 07:28

And unfriend his boss from social media! It's meant for friends, not bosses.

insancerre · 10/02/2020 07:33

This man needs retraining, at the very least he needs to not contact people when they are off sick. He could also do with some training on supporting people with mental health issues
Your DSS has done nothing wrong

insancerre · 10/02/2020 07:34

I agree to unfriend him on social media and block him
He’s clearly not a friend

SouthWestmom · 10/02/2020 08:03

Daisychain, I was correcting a post. People post all sorts of incorrect 'legal' advice on here. Or do you think that's ok and we should just go with what we think should be the position?

Stephminx · 10/02/2020 08:09

Good advice from @daisychain01

LolaSmiles · 10/02/2020 08:14

Your poor son.
He doesn't have to be bedridden to be signed off sick, however I think it's really foolish to have pub trips on social media.

Though on contact, it's not the case that people can't be contacted when signed off sick. It just has to be appropriate.

Original poster

GreyNosedDonkey · 10/02/2020 09:20

He realises now that it wasn't wise to post a picture from in the pub but I still think how the boss dealt with it was bad,
It's only a small company, there are less than 10 employees I think. DSS has never been off sick before and I don't think this boss has a clue what a sick note actually means. He had no business asking DSS what pills he was on. He's gone and read up about it and declared he shouldn't be drinking or driving whilst on the medication.
DSS had 2 days of dizziness with the first pills but has been ok since. He could be on the pills for quite a while. Is He meant to stay inside for all that time!?

OP posts:

IntermittentParps · 10/02/2020 15:00

The boss is a twat and very ignorant. It's none of his business what DSS is doing; he should not be contacting him while he's signed off sick; he demonstrably knows nothing about DSS's medication…
If there's no HR and the company are basically shite, have you tried speaking to ACA for advice?

whilst it was inappropriate of your DSSs boss to contact him, you'd be doing your DSS a favour if you point out that it's rubbing people's noses In it posting photos on social media. It just gives him a bad reputation and no matter how true it is that being off sick doesn't involve solitary confinement in a darkened room, a bit of discretion is sensible if your DSS wants to be taken seriously at work.
I think this is terrible and ignorant 'advice'. The way to deal with the social media thing (if at all) is for DSS to block the manager, not to try to second-guess what he might find 'inappropriate'. Mental health issues often benefit from seeing friends and being out. If the boss isn't 'taking him seriously at work' because of this it is the boss's problem, not DSS's.

Original poster

GreyNosedDonkey · 10/02/2020 15:23

Thankyou, the photo was on Instagram, I know nothing about SM so don't know if you can block people on there.
DSS is now seriously considering resigning. I've said to him I will stand by him if he decided to do this.This sickness episode is one of many twatish things the boss has done:
*Giving him so much work to do that DSS is pretty much working 5 or 6 x 12 hour days.
*Telling him if he wants to finish earlier he needs to work faster
& plenty more which would be too outing

How would he stand with resigning while off sick? He has only been there 8 weeks and is on 6 months probation. He did his apprenticeship with another company who sadly couldn't take him on, so he came to this company.
I honestly believe that alot of his depression points to this job .

OP posts:

LouReidDododo · 10/02/2020 15:30

This is tricky. After reading all your posts it doesn’t sound like a great work place and think your ds should leave but he has to manage it so it doesn’t look negative on his C.V

My dh has business and if one person is off sick some one else has to pick that slack up, working on days off, working later etc.. if some one was to post a pic on social media of them in the pub with two drinks in his hand I know it would raise a few eyebrows.

I think your ds has learned a lesson here

Flip

1 2 3

Swipe left for the next trending thread